Hello Panda, nice to have you here. It sounds like you've gone through much more than I have so I may not be the best for giving advice but I can say with certainty that I'm sure there are many other people, as this thread has shown and myself included, who are anxious of the same things and worried for the same reasons. Overall, I am shy and have an inferiority complex, whatever that means haha. But I know sometimes friends seem to come and go because life takes us in so many different directions, and I'd bet you their reasons for not keeping in touch isn't as personal as you think :]. As others have implied I believe, and I am experiencing right now, college is hard to get through, let alone make friends, because there's so much freedom really in choosing where you go and what you do and who you meet that it's kind of overwhelming at times. But you take things a day at a time and start to keep busier as someone said in this thread, with other things you may like to do or could be comforted by, like sitting in nature and relaxing for awhile, learning to appreciate your abilities and the good things you have more. It's hard to do I know when you feel things by and large won't work out but you just have to have hope and slow down, let the worries pass you by :]. I'm working on brevity so sorry for this long post. Welcome!