Lonliness Just Struck Me

Animelover10102 · Sep 22, 2014

About an hour ago, my sister has entered her first relationship ever with the guy she wouldn't stop bragging about. Everyone is celebrating, and I'm happy for her and whatnot...but, it just hit me.

When I entered my first relationship, no one was as enthusiastic about it. I got the 'you better not have sex with him' reply. Like, wtf, do they really see me as that? As a typical teen who would run off and have a bunch of sex? The thought of sex doesn't excite me. Besides, he lived like, two states away. They know I'm smarter than that.

My sister just got the 'aww' and 'I'm so proud of my baby girl'.

It's always like this, no matter what the situation. Out of 5 children, I'm always left out. I have holes in two of my teeth? Better not do anything about it until my little sister gets a cavity. Oh, I'm sick, and there is a respiratory illness going around, and I have asthma? Better not go to the doctors' until my little sister gets sick. I have one of the highest grades, overall of 91% (and climbing) in my family? Oh, look, you're little brother has got honor roll.

Ever since I broke up with my boyfriend, I've been waiting to find this boy I really connected with back in public school. I'm really hoping he still lives around this area, because I think of him whenever I go out to places that involve my past school. Even other people suggested we should of gotten together (we were like in, 5th grade though, so I said no, its too early)

I sort of regret that though. We had more in common than I did with my ex. Now that my sister is in a relationship, I feel really lonely, because I can't find that boy anymore. I feel as if he is the one. I think he liked me too because he would always tease me, and draw with me, and things like that. I can't even find him online like on FB or anything. I've tried getting ex-classmates to contact him for me, or update me on how he was doing, but they are literally f*cking retards and don't understand. I'm really angry that I never got the chance to say goodbye when I left public school.

reloadlife23 · Sep 22, 2014

Animelover10102 said:
About an hour ago, my sister has entered her first relationship ever with the guy she wouldn't stop bragging about. Everyone is celebrating, and I'm happy for her and whatnot...but, it just hit me.

When I entered my first relationship, no one was as enthusiastic about it. I got the 'you better not have sex with him' reply. Like, wtf, do they really see me as that? As a typical teen who would run off and have a bunch of sex? The thought of sex doesn't excite me. Besides, he lived like, two states away. They know I'm smarter than that.

My sister just got the 'aww' and 'I'm so proud of my baby girl'.

It's always like this, no matter what the situation. Out of 5 children, I'm always left out. I have holes in two of my teeth? Better not do anything about it until my little sister gets a cavity. Oh, I'm sick, and there is a respiratory illness going around, and I have asthma? Better not go to the doctors' until my little sister gets sick. I have one of the highest grades, overall of 91% (and climbing) in my family? Oh, look, you're little brother has got honor roll.

Ever since I broke up with my boyfriend, I've been waiting to find this boy I really connected with back in public school. I'm really hoping he still lives around this area, because I think of him whenever I go out to places that involve my past school. Even other people suggested we should of gotten together (we were like in, 5th grade though, so I said no, its too early)

I sort of regret that though. We had more in common than I did with my ex. Now that my sister is in a relationship, I feel really lonely, because I can't find that boy anymore. I feel as if he is the one. I think he liked me too because he would always tease me, and draw with me, and things like that. I can't even find him online like on FB or anything. I've tried getting ex-classmates to contact him for me, or update me on how he was doing, but they are literally f*cking retards and don't understand. I'm really angry that I never got the chance to say goodbye when I left public school.
[/quo

We are not really alone ever, only if emotions say we are.
You are young, one day you will meet mr. right.
Save it for marriage. guys use anyone they can get and then dump them, so say no to your emotions that tell you otherwise.

You will be okay as long as you listen to your instincts.
Louise

Animelover10102 · Sep 22, 2014

We are not really alone ever, only if emotions say we are.
You are young, one day you will meet mr. right.
Save it for marriage. guys use anyone they can get and then dump them, so say no to your emotions that tell you otherwise.

You will be okay as long as you listen to your instincts.
Louise

Thanks for that.

And that's weird, the boy's name that I like is the masculine form of your name. It's Lewis...haha

Therapon · Sep 23, 2014

From my experience, if you try to find out how someone you love from your past is doing, you'll probably be disappointed (they will probably have moved on, maybe found someone, or not be as you thought they were, etc). However, if you don't try, it potentially haunts you forever, so it's probably worth finding (or contacting) them even if you know you'll probably be disappointed, because that disappointment let's you move forward with a clear mind. It's best not to expect a relationship if you do though.

Save it for marriage. guys use anyone they can get and then dump them, so say no to your emotions that tell you otherwise.

Women aren't incapable of that though either. It's not as if guys don't get hurt that way. There are good and bad people on both sides. I agree that you can only be reasonably sure it's safe to have emotions like that when they've made the life commitment of marriage.

Animelover10102 · Sep 23, 2014

Therapon said:
From my experience, if you try to find out how someone you love from your past is doing, you'll probably be disappointed (they will probably have moved on, maybe found someone, or not be as you thought they were, etc). However, if you don't try, it potentially haunts you forever, so it's probably worth finding (or contacting) them even if you know you'll probably be disappointed, because that disappointment let's you move forward with a clear mind. It's best not to expect a relationship if you do though.

Yeah, I just don't want to regret it even more if I don't at least try to contact him. I was thinking about him while in my first relationship, and how I should of said bye.

I was kind enough to help my sister and give her advice, even though she didn't give me any for my first relationship. I told her, 'don't talk everyday, that's where it all starts going wrong. You guys' are going to get bored of each other'. She said 'yeah, that's what I'm afraid of'.

Yet she's not listening. She's been talking to him for like, two hours now, on the phone. I'm not helping her anymore. She won't even let me talk about the boy that I like around her. She always seems disinterested, and always interrupts me, or makes fun of me. Like at the moment, I'm trying to find out when our next football game is, because there is going to be at least a 90% chance the boy I like is going to be there. She makes fun of that. I mean, I don't make fun of the fact that her boyfriend looks kind of insane and stalkerish. She met him over the freaking internet, who knows how that's going to turn out. At least I met the boy I like in real life, and got to see how he truly was in person.

I told her straightforwardly, 'stop talking about the boy you like, because you won't let me talk about the one I like. '

Cuz' I don't want to hear it. I don't.

Therapon · Sep 23, 2014

Fair is fair. She can make her own mistakes.

Jenifer · Sep 25, 2014

Well, I know the feeling. At least, you have a lot of brothers. Me , I am the only kid and still nobody cares.

Still, what happened that makes you think you will never find the right person?

Animelover10102 · Sep 25, 2014

Jenifer said:
Still, what happened that makes you think you will never find the right person?

Well, 1, I'm far too weird for anyone to handle.
And 2, no one actually likes me. My family doesn't even compliment me once in a while. You know, like when I'm dressed up nicely or something, they don't say anything, which in turn, makes me dress sloppily for the occasion.

I've usually been avoided most of the time in school, and stuff like that. I think it's because I'm biracial (white/black), and that I look too much like my dad, and little like my mom (Who use to be model). Go figure, right? Of course I wouldn't turn out to look like my mom, who was a model. I mean, my sister did. Everyone compliments her and calls her beautiful and gorgeous, and that she looks just like my mom.

AmytheTemperamental · Sep 25, 2014

Animelover10102 said:
Jenifer said:

Still, what happened that makes you think you will never find the right person?

Click to expand...

Well, 1, I'm far too weird for anyone to handle.
And 2, no one actually likes me. My family doesn't even compliment me once in a while. You know, like when I'm dressed up nicely or something, they don't say anything, which in turn, makes me dress sloppily for the occasion.

I've usually been avoided most of the time in school, and stuff like that. I think it's because I'm biracial (white/black), and that I look too much like my dad, and little like my mom (Who use to be model). Go figure, right? Of course I wouldn't turn out to look like my mom, who was a model. I mean, my sister did. Everyone compliments her and calls her beautiful and gorgeous, and that she looks just like my mom.

At the end of the day, just be the best person you can be. FOR YOU - because who YOU are is what will make your life what it is. So, if no one compliments you, compliment yourself. Hold your head high. No one else will do it for you.

ladyforsaken · Sep 25, 2014

AmytheTemperamental said:
At the end of the day, just be the best person you can be. FOR YOU - because who YOU are is what will make your life what it is. So, if no one compliments you, compliment yourself. Hold your head high. No one else will do it for you.

I second Amy, very much.

Aqualonde · Sep 28, 2014

ladyforsaken said:
AmytheTemperamental said:

At the end of the day, just be the best person you can be. FOR YOU - because who YOU are is what will make your life what it is. So, if no one compliments you, compliment yourself. Hold your head high. No one else will do it for you.

Click to expand...

I second Amy, very much.

I'll try and keep this approach as well. Rewarding myself for the small accomplishments I can make is a matter of survival, nowadays, since I'm really not very good at the things I do and people don't have any reason to take me seriously as a person. Still, our achievments are our very own achievments, no matter how small they seem to be, the small victories of getting out of bed and surviving another day should count as well.

ladyforsaken · Oct 1, 2014

Aqualonde said:
ladyforsaken said:

AmytheTemperamental said:

At the end of the day, just be the best person you can be. FOR YOU - because who YOU are is what will make your life what it is. So, if no one compliments you, compliment yourself. Hold your head high. No one else will do it for you.

Click to expand...

I second Amy, very much.

Click to expand...

I'll try and keep this approach as well. Rewarding myself for the small accomplishments I can make is a matter of survival, nowadays, since I'm really not very good at the things I do and people don't have any reason to take me seriously as a person. Still, our achievments are our very own achievments, no matter how small they seem to be, the small victories of getting out of bed and surviving another day should count as well.

Good luck, I wish you all the best.

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