I find every moment of life as a chore!

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ordinaryDude

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Life seems a chore to me. For being alive you need to eat, to eat you need earn money, buy food, prepare or cook them. To live as a human you need shelter, you need to keep it clean; you also need to maintain social norms in most cases, you need maintain relationship with your existing family, and if you try to keep them away, more often than not they feel hurt, so if you have some sympathy for others, you have to try to keep them happy.

So, it's like in every phase there's a lot of work in life, it's work work work, it's chore chore chore.

I feel sick of living, I actually do believe in a creator, but even praying to that creator seems like a chore to me.

If it wasn't for my parents, I'd seek ways to die, but I feel I'd be really hurting them if I die. On the other hand, I think I'm really afraid of death, it seems committing suicide takes a lot of courage. It's like now I'm really trapped in hesitancy.

So, do you ever feel this way? If you do, what do you do? Please give me some advice in making a decision.
 
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?
 
Life is hard, its not made to be easy. I'm sure a lot of people here have felt the way you feel. I got to the point where I just didn't want to cook for myself so I looked for things I could stick in the oven for a half hour and not worry about. That seemed to take the edge off, in the meantime I'd do something that I would enjoy doing, drawing, play video games, model painting, etc. Though if you do something like that it is highly recommended that you use something to gauge your time with so you don't overcook stuff.
 
SophiaGrace said:
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?

Actually I felt that way most of my life since the teen days, although for a few years, in the middle I felt better, but it's been for most of my life.
 
Life is great- the tougher moments make the rest more enjoyable. So looking forward to this weekend- Kid, hiking, a bonfire maybe- it's the small things that mean so much....
 
ordinaryDude said:
SophiaGrace said:
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?

Actually I felt that way most of my life since the teen days, although for a few years, in the middle I felt better, but it's been for most of my life.

Has it gotten worse currently?
 
ordinaryDude said:
Life seems a chore to me. For being alive you need to eat, to eat you need earn money, buy food, prepare or cook them. To live as a human you need shelter, you need to keep it clean; you also need to maintain social norms in most cases, you need maintain relationship with your existing family, and if you try to keep them away, more often than not they feel hurt, so if you have some sympathy for others, you have to try to keep them happy.

So, it's like in every phase there's a lot of work in life, it's work work work, it's chore chore chore.

I feel sick of living, I actually do believe in a creator, but even praying to that creator seems like a chore to me.

If it wasn't for my parents, I'd seek ways to die, but I feel I'd be really hurting them if I die. On the other hand, I think I'm really afraid of death, it seems committing suicide takes a lot of courage. It's like now I'm really trapped in hesitancy.

So, do you ever feel this way? If you do, what do you do? Please give me some advice in making a decision.

I know exactly what you describe, and honestly I will call it depression.
I would say to make a list of things that you think you are missing in your life or that you think you will never get (love, success, whatever rocks your boat), to see if there is a reason for you feeling like that,
and if nothing comes out and technically your life is satisfying, then I would consider medication - not for a moment think that what you are feeling is how life is. Perhaps you really need something in your life right now and you don't have it and even suppress the feeling of such need, and that is why you don't know why you are feeling what you are feeling.
Somehow you lost your joy in life, but it is somewhere, perhaps you just didn't experience something that brought you joy in a long while.

Think again about what could bring you joy, and I hope that you manage to believe that there is a way to get there, lots of people who try, they succeed
 
WildernessWildChild said:
Life is great- the tougher moments make the rest more enjoyable. So looking forward to this weekend- Kid, hiking, a bonfire maybe- it's the small things that mean so much....

It sounds like for you, that life is mostly good, with some tough moments. This is not how OP experiences the world.

Because this is now how OP views the world and you are not addressing how they view the world in a way that shows you are empathetically listening to their feelings, your response might come off as invalidating and unhelpful.

I'm not sure if you are aware you are possibly coming off this way, so I thought I'd mention it.
 
Sci-Fi said:
Life is hard, its not made to be easy. I'm sure a lot of people here have felt the way you feel. I got to the point where I just didn't want to cook for myself so I looked for things I could stick in the oven for a half hour and not worry about. That seemed to take the edge off, in the meantime I'd do something that I would enjoy doing, drawing, play video games, model painting, etc. Though if you do something like that it is highly recommended that you use something to gauge your time with so you don't overcook stuff.

My question is what's the need to go through this tough thing called "life"? What's the point of doing all this hardship that we do?


SophiaGrace said:
ordinaryDude said:
SophiaGrace said:
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?

Actually I felt that way most of my life since the teen days, although for a few years, in the middle I felt better, but it's been for most of my life.

Has it gotten worse currently?

I think yes, these days it's gotten worse. Now, I'm an adult, I have more responsibilities, a few people look up to me.
 
SophiaGrace said:
ordinaryDude said:
SophiaGrace said:
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?

Actually I felt that way most of my life since the teen days, although for a few years, in the middle I felt better, but it's been for most of my life.

Has it gotten worse currently?

I think yes, these days it's gotten worse. Now, I'm an adult, I have more responsibilities, a few people look up to me.
[/quote]

Have you ever experienced counseling? Or tried it?
 
SophiaGrace said:
SophiaGrace said:
ordinaryDude said:
SophiaGrace said:
So, what you are saying is that everything feels hard to do. It doesnt' sound like you get any joy out of life right now.

I think everyone at some point in their life has questioned the meaning of life and the point of doing everything in such a mechanized and routine way.

Can you tell me when you started to feel this way?

Actually I felt that way most of my life since the teen days, although for a few years, in the middle I felt better, but it's been for most of my life.

Has it gotten worse currently?

I think yes, these days it's gotten worse. Now, I'm an adult, I have more responsibilities, a few people look up to me.

Have you ever experienced counseling? Or tried it?
[/quote]

I tried, but it was taking too much time, I got impatient and stopped it.
 
ordinaryDude said:
I tried, but it was taking too much time, I got impatient and stopped it.

Did you address this concern with your counselor at the time? Do you remember? They may have tried to address this concern of yours had you brought it up.

I get the feeling that since you have been feeling this way for a long time, that any fix might take a while too. I'm not fully sure though.
 
SophiaGrace said:
I get the feeling that since you have been feeling this way for a long time, that any fix might take a while too.

I would like to jump in and say that, looking at my own life and experiences, long lasting mindsets can be changed incredibly quickly, relatively speaking. It depends on the change that will make you, ordinaryDude, a happier person, being available to you or not. In the sense that, if you don't know a possibility exists, you can't choose that possibility. I guess that's a way to describe how i got away from my own long time depression and suicidal ideation - a new possibility was shown to me.

You're right though in that, just like a fix might take a long while, the shown possibility has to be a very powerful one.

I hope this information is somewhat useful to you.
 
ordinaryDude said:
My question is what's the need to go through this tough thing called "life"? What's the point of doing all this hardship that we do?

You are the only person who can answer that question, OD. And your answer is mostly what matters. You make what you want your life to be - but yes, dammit life can be such a struggle, eh. I know and I totally hear you. Sometimes you feel like you're battling life and you wonder why must you do that?

Maybe you can answer that question with something simple first. Like what are you passionate about in life? What do you want to do? Everyone needs to put out some effort in order to get something done or to achieve something. I don't believe in shortcuts in life, so say if you wanna do something in the future that you are into, then use that as the reason why you need to work for it. And instead of feeling negatively about it, you could try to identify the benefits and what you can learn in your journey to get what you want.

Also, maybe you could try to change your perceptions on putting out effort as accomplishments and privilege rather than a chore.
 
SophiaGrace said:
WildernessWildChild said:
Life is great- the tougher moments make the rest more enjoyable. So looking forward to this weekend- Kid, hiking, a bonfire maybe- it's the small things that mean so much....

It sounds like for you, that life is mostly good, with some tough moments. This is not how OP experiences the world.

Because this is now how OP views the world and you are not addressing how they view the world in a way that shows you are empathetically listening to their feelings, your response might come off as invalidating and unhelpful.

I'm not sure if you are aware you are possibly coming off this way, so I thought I'd mention it.

LOL- my life is in no way "mostly good"- I simply choose to focus on the pluses rather tan the negatives.

I know all about empathy SG, I simply don't agreed with giving into darkness and despair so my approach to challenges doesn't invalidate or become unhelpful, I simply show a different approach....

Examples-

I don't see Kid everyday or as much as I'd like- I focus on knowing I'll see her soon and talking/texting is an alternative....

I'm not doing the career I want right now- work towards getting back to it- study, learn, and plan ad much as I can until I return to it.

Still supporting an ex I haven't had a relationship with for 3 years.- focus on Kid being safe, happy, secure, stress-free. Encourage firmer spouse to seek new career.

Move out of house into RV. Get rid of unnecessary honeysuckle and appreciate how easy it is to keep clean.

Doesn't matter what you throw at me as Devils Advocate SG, there's always gonna be a bright side. That's MY point.
 
WildernessWildChild said:
SophiaGrace said:
WildernessWildChild said:
Life is great- the tougher moments make the rest more enjoyable. So looking forward to this weekend- Kid, hiking, a bonfire maybe- it's the small things that mean so much....

It sounds like for you, that life is mostly good, with some tough moments. This is not how OP experiences the world.

Because this is now how OP views the world and you are not addressing how they view the world in a way that shows you are empathetically listening to their feelings, your response might come off as invalidating and unhelpful.

I'm not sure if you are aware you are possibly coming off this way, so I thought I'd mention it.

LOL- my life is in no way "mostly good"- I simply choose to focus on the pluses rather tan the negatives.

I know all about empathy SG, I simply don't agreed with giving into darkness and despair so my approach to challenges doesn't invalidate or become unhelpful, I simply show a different approach....

Examples-

I don't see Kid everyday or as much as I'd like- I focus on knowing I'll see her soon and talking/texting is an alternative....

I'm not doing the career I want right now- work towards getting back to it- study, learn, and plan ad much as I can until I return to it.

Still supporting an ex I haven't had a relationship with for 3 years.- focus on Kid being safe, happy, secure, stress-free. Encourage firmer spouse to seek new career.

Move out of house into RV. Get rid of unnecessary honeysuckle and appreciate how easy it is to keep clean.

Doesn't matter what you throw at me as Devils Advocate SG, there's always gonna be a bright side. That's MY point.

The point is, it's proving extremely difficult to see the bright side all the time. I try a lot to be positive, but it comes back all the time. Patience is something I found extremely difficult, even though all my life my parents brought me asking and teaching me to be patient, and also even though I believe in a religion where the creator says "Almighty is with the ones who are patient!".

Even since I was a really small child I had this explosive temper, I always wanted things my way, and back then I'd release that negative energy with throwing away or breaking stuffs. It seems I haven't grown up really, I'm still very impatient, really anger prone, but the difference is that now I cannot release the negative energy because I now realized I won't help others by doing that. As I cannot release the negative energy, it now stresses me out, makes me weak and depressed and I feel life as a chore.
 
ordinaryDude said:
makes me weak and depressed and I feel life as a chore.

Ok, why is being realistic make one depressed. Life sucks. Seriously. I think the more likely response is that if you still like life then, you either have it easy or you are mentally ill. My life is just one long series of chores. I work to pay my bills but probably about 50% of my bills I wouldn't have if I didn't work... major circle. I once hired someone to do my chores and, that did, make me happy. I just needed a break. But, what happened was that she needed specific directions and I just got a new chore... making up her list and getting her cash before she came each week. Soon I got sick of it.

My weekend is just one long series of chores. Wash dishes, wash clothing, buy clothing, fix clothing, clean home, clean cat box.. and on and on and on. Even if I want to have joy in my life... there is super little time to do that.

Life is one long chore.
 
LonelySutton said:
Ok, why is being realistic make one depressed. Life sucks. Seriously. I think the more likely response is that if you still like life then, you either have it easy or you are mentally ill. My life is just one long series of chores. I work to pay my bills but probably about 50% of my bills I wouldn't have if I didn't work... major circle. I once hired someone to do my chores and, that did, make me happy. I just needed a break. But, what happened was that she needed specific directions and I just got a new chore... making up her list and getting her cash before she came each week. Soon I got sick of it.

My weekend is just one long series of chores. Wash dishes, wash clothing, buy clothing, fix clothing, clean home, clean cat box.. and on and on and on. Even if I want to have joy in my life... there is super little time to do that.

Life is one long chore.

Why do you have a cat? Isn't that another massive chore? Isn't it like having a baby? Of course babies are lovely, and I really love babies, but I wouldn't want have one of my own because raising a baby is hard work.

My point is, I never wanted life in the first place, it just happened to be upon me, and now I'm having to do loads of hard work, because without hard work I'd have to live a poor life and also because otherwise I cannot help my parents who are getting older now. So, now I find it difficult to go through something so hard called "life", which I never wanted in the first place.
 
WildernessWildChild said:
LOL- my life is in no way "mostly good"- I simply choose to focus on the pluses rather tan the negatives.

I know all about empathy SG, I simply don't agreed with giving into darkness and despair so my approach to challenges doesn't invalidate or become unhelpful, I simply show a different approach....

Examples-

I don't see Kid everyday or as much as I'd like- I focus on knowing I'll see her soon and talking/texting is an alternative....

I'm not doing the career I want right now- work towards getting back to it- study, learn, and plan ad much as I can until I return to it.

Still supporting an ex I haven't had a relationship with for 3 years.- focus on Kid being safe, happy, secure, stress-free. Encourage firmer spouse to seek new career.

Move out of house into RV. Get rid of unnecessary honeysuckle and appreciate how easy it is to keep clean.

Doesn't matter what you throw at me as Devils Advocate SG, there's always gonna be a bright side. That's MY point.

This is very much how I'd like to live my life. Simple without any troubles. I've been through turmoil in my life that people wouldn't imagine, and I'd much rather live simply now. These back roads are quite fine for me. I just don't enjoy some of the people around, so I'd rather not bother with them.

After all I've been through, it would all be useless if I didn't learn to appreciate the simple things and be happy with the things that I have.
 
ordinaryDude said:
Why do you have a cat? Isn't that another massive chore? Isn't it like having a baby?

No, cats are pretty independent. But yes.. sick of the freaking litter box. But I think this was the least dependent pet.

As a survivor of older parents... it will get better when they pass. But welcome to hell right now. :) Older parents though can often qualify for help via the state or social services so maybe you should look into that. I had a nurse and a errand runner for my mom.
 

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