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the_ice_man

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I believe this is by far the main reason why people not only have difficulty making new friends, but also keeping them. Most of the people I meet just love talking about one thing....themselves! It doesn't seem to matter what the subject is, they will always find some way to turn it around to what THEY did, or how much THEY know about it. Gone are the days of TWO WAY conversations it seems. Has anyone else noticed this?
 
I've noticed this too, in fact I've noticed so many things, I'm always noticing things, I'm so very observant, actually I'm pretty good at most things...

Oh wait.....lol
 
Alma lost her spoon said:
I've noticed this too, in fact I've noticed so many things, I'm always noticing things, I'm so very observant, actually I'm pretty good at most things...

Oh wait.....lol

Really? That's fascinating! Oh, I think that's my phone...;)
 
the_ice_man said:
I believe this is by far the main reason why people not only have difficulty making new friends, but also keeping them. Most of the people I meet just love talking about one thing....themselves! It doesn't seem to matter what the subject is, they will always find some way to turn it around to what THEY did, or how much THEY know about it. Gone are the days of TWO WAY conversations it seems. Has anyone else noticed this?

I have a guy friend like this. No matter what pretense he uses to call or text (how are you, how is work going, etc) he ALWAYS turns the conversation back to HIMSELF.
Now... don't get me wrong - I know that often, people will share similar stories, etc. to show that when they say "I know how you feel" that they really do know how you feel. Perfectly acceptable IMO.
However, when you're talking about something that upset you at work, and their response is, "I know how that can be...and btw, my girlfriend send me this weird text - can you help me figure out what she means?"
C'mon - you didn't call to see how I was - you wanted more (and often given) advice about your **** gf.

:club: lol, you could have just stated outright that you needed some advice and not pretended that you called to see how I was. (yes, he does just call to see how I am on occasion, but it generally leads back to his issues with his gf).
 
yeah, I used to be a very good listener, it seems that the amount of egocentrism gets worse after overdosing on loneliness….
 
I find that the lonelier I get, the more I want to hear about someone else's life and get out of my own head for a while.
 
Yes, I have noticed it a lot. It's like when you are with someone who is clearly not interested in anything you may have to say but who is waiting, whenever you speak, for you to finish so that it is their 'turn' to leap in and talk about themselves. They don't even try to keep a pretence going of listening to you by including something you have said in their reply, but instead they go off at some odd tangent onto their own affairs.
 
In all seriousness, it can be true, many people often don't understand the art of conversation.

Listening is something some people don't seem to be very good at.
 
I see this a lot too, I can't bare conceited people. If someone has an issue or just wants to talk generally I'm happy to listen and even give advice, but when people monopolize all conversation and get pissed off if it's not all about them, that just grinds my corn.
Have some self-awareness!
 
I am somewhat guilty of this...? Takes me a lot of a conscious effort to like turn the conversation around and get to know the other person. At least I have some self-awareness.

(I am aware this whole post was in first person hahaha)
 
Tiina63 said:
Yes, I have noticed it a lot. It's like when you are with someone who is clearly not interested in anything you may have to say but who is waiting, whenever you speak, for you to finish so that it is their 'turn' to leap in and talk about themselves. They don't even try to keep a pretence going of listening to you by including something you have said in their reply, but instead they go off at some odd tangent onto their own affairs.

This is SO true. I can see it in their eyes while I'm talking to them. Absolutely no interest in what I'm saying at all (Ok, I know I'm not the most interesting person to chat with...)
Hehe!....Hello?.....Anybody there?
 
Oh my god, I did this unintentionally to a friendly girl in my aerobics class. She tried to make conversation with me after class last week, and it mostly consisted of her asking me questions and my answering them without showing any interest in her. That was because I fainted in class that day and was too tired to chit-chat.
 
It sounds like every other person you have a conversation with is narcissistic. When they actually put fourth the energy to aggrandize themselves.

There are situations where the conversation is one way because the participant is not really engaged or are just answering to stave the situation. Complacently going along with it, not really caring one way or another about your thoughts. They might throw a personal antic dote here and there.

In a online context like a thread post. To me there is a certain aversion to engaging or addressing a poster. A chance to be rejected or alienated in some way or something about as derisive or awkward.. I'm paranoid like that.. It's convenient to just add your two cents and hope for the best.
 
I think narcissistic is a little extreme. Self absorbed would be closer to the truth. I have my own theories why they are like that.
I'm not understanding the online context. There's no real personal conversation going on, I can choose to respond or not, and it could take a week to complete!
 
Whenever I have a conversation with my friend, she always talks about herself.. from the start until the end. :(
 
SteveJackson said:
Whenever I have a conversation with my friend, she always talks about herself.. from the start until the end. :(

It's not really a conversation then..

"Conversation is a form of interactive, spontaneous communication between two or more people who are following rules of etiquette. It is polite give and take of subjects thought of by people talking with each other for company." Wiki.
 

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