I am going back into therapy.

I will be seeing a therapist again at some point in the next few months. I am waiting for an assessment appointment first and then will probably be put onto a waiting list. I can't remember what it was like not to wish in my heart of hearts at one or more times each day that my life would end. Being alone, being very afraid, having noone to really rely on to be there for me, and feeling so very vulnerable and wanting to die to be out of it all has been my life for so many years that it has come to be my normal way of feeling. I find it hard to even imagine that life could feel secure and enjoyable as it hasn't been this way for so long. I have times when I manage to push the fear and the exhaustion aside for a short while, but I know it is always there. I am glad that I will have a counsellor again as it will give me the chance to talk things through and to vent.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I hope you can start feeling better about life soon.

It's good that you're seeking assistance and taking some steps to make things better, so... I hope you're able to work out what you need to. Good luck!

Dear Tiina, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling like that, last but not least because I am in a similar situation…

I wonder how many people also can't rely on anyone, it seems an increasingly common problem in our modern world where families get smaller and smaller - I wish I had something smart to suggest, but I don't

Tiina, i think you are doing the right thing and seeing a therapist will really help you out. I know that the last three times i have went it has helped me out quite a bit.I have been seeing a gal for depression for years, but only to prescribe the meds. Though until recently i just assumed she was a therapist. I know it's rough whatever you are going through, but things will get better. I was told a relaxation technique that has helped me when i was stressed. Relax and keep your shoulders down, keep you tongue down and take three deep breaths. I was told by a counselor to keep doing it throughout the day, it can really help too.

just found this quote:

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

It's great that you decided to seek help, though. We are in a tight spot, it's very easy not to see all the options we have and everything we can do to get out of it. It will get better if you reach out

*hugs* Good luck, Tiina. I hope it will work out for you.

I am waiting for a phone call to go for an assesment so that they can match me to the most suitable therapist for me-I will keep you posted. Thank you to you all for your care and support.