What should i do?

So let me tell you a little about my situation and what i am going through, and maybe some of you can kind of help me understand if my relationship with my wife is something i should continue, of course i don't want to throw 15 years of marriage away, but let me explain.

So about a month and one week ago i did something that i regret (don't want to go into details as not everyone would approve) and it was nothing against my wife/daughter. Though my depression was getting really bad, i was yelling and taking things wrong a lot. I was trying to change myself and improve, but never seemed to help. Keep in mind, for years since 2009 when i found out that i had depression i never actually saw a therapist. So i saw what you would call a Certified Nurse Practioner (CNP) who prescribes the meds and also talked with me how they were doing. So i just assumed that she was a therapist, but i was so wrong.

Of course, i am very emotional and can be very sensative, so when i get upset i can say stupid things like "Suicide is my friend, or i want a divorce" and i did it a lot to my wife. Sometimes i posted it on Facebook, and that totally got me in trouble. So i got locked up overnight on Aug 25th, to be evaluated and then got let out the next morning. I would never follow through, but i also grew up listening to my mom saying the same things, she has a problem with anxiety.

So here's what i'm talking about, my wife's dad is very controlling. He was never nice to them and still isn't. So here's thing that i notice my wife doing, not sure if the depression was brought on by her. Things were great until shortly after we had our daughter in 2007.

She can be very anal, being someone who is religious doesn't want to goto church or pray which i knew was ok. She also wouldn't get me money out because things are tight with me not working much, but yet on the weekends would come home from her parents and say look at all this clearanced stuff i got. So that didn't make me feel any better.

Also, she always goes over to her parents like clockwork on the weekends, never fails and she can't be late or her dad will get upset. It's like she doesn't have her own life. Also, when she goes to band practice or things at night, she takes my daughter who is 7 now over to her parents. I get that my daughter needs someone who is not a male to go into the bathroom, but ok.

Now here's another issue, still to this day my wife will tuck my daughter in. Such as physically lie down with her and fall asleep. There is no fun at night, i have to get to bed early as i work early at a call center for Directv. Plus, there is little to no intimacy and of course for a long time i was playing on the computer at night as i love to play computer games.
So the last time we have had fun probably was like months ago, last time she said I Love You was probably like a year or more and of course the last time we kissed seemed like years ago.

It's starting to feel like we are just roommates, i don't know if she is stressing me out. I know i also did nothing at home, my diabetes was out of control, i felt icky as well. So i understand she was upset, but still i feel like i deserve a little respect, but it's like she is not even in love with me.

When i tried to ask her, she will not say. Of course in the last few weeks i was upset a few times, texted her what she wanted as in does she want a divorce (letting the negative thoughts get to me) or does she want to make it work. She said this is not a conversation we should be having by text. I haven't seen my daughter or her since it all happened. I feel so alone sometimes.

Also, on Thursday i am going to see her with my therapist as she agreed to come along and i hope that maybe we can make things work. I don't know if God is trying to make bad things happen to me to show me that maybe i need to move on, i don't like to think like that. I'm just not sure what my future holds. I just know i am trying to tell myself i'm going to be happy regardless.

Also, when she is with her family and i call her on her cell phone it's like i'm interrupting things and i get that vibe that i shouldn't of called her. Yet, when she calls me she expects me to be talkative. I am not sure if she is trying to control me even if she doesn't realize it. I have told her before, but she says she's not controlling. She denies it everytime.

So give me your feedback, i know i want to try and make this marriage work, i would sure hate to end it, but i also want to be happy and if i am going to go back to her eventually and just deal with the same thing then is it even worth it?

Please let me know your thoughts.
Mike

From what you write, it sounds like she's a little controlling. But, on the other hand, it sounds like you're a little dependent on her.
It's a good sign that she's willing to go to therapy with you, so I would look at that as a plus.

Have you talked to her about her family and the way it makes you feel? First and foremost, you need to get the communication lines open. It is unlikely you will ever work things out if you don't start talking. If you don't feel you can get it all out or that she'll make an excuse to not talk about it, write it all down and let her read it.

If you can't be happy with the way things have been, I would have to say it is definitely not worth going back. It's not worth it for you, for her or for your daughter to be in a miserable relationship. You didn't seem to mention that you do anything outside from your wife and daughter. Do you go out and have time for yourself? While you are apart from her, find a new hobby, meet some new people. Even if you have a life outside your family, do something new, find yourself and look at things objectively.