Got so lonely I called escort

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Hawx79

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I couldn't bare the loneliness anymore so I called an escort service.
She was friendly and cute. She made me feel good and felt she pulled me out of my hellhole. It wasn't the sex but her being with me and talking to me that made me feel good again.
But when she left after an hour I felt even worse, knowing I had to endure being alone once again :(
I don't need sex, I just want someone like that with me in my life.
After she left I started to drink myself crazy to numb myself.
I'd like to call her again one day but I know she only likes my money and not me.
I am doomed to always be alone. I don't know for how many years I can stand my life anymore :(
 
Hawx79 said:
I couldn't bare the loneliness anymore so I called an escort service.
She was friendly and cute. She made me feel good and felt she pulled me out of my hellhole. It wasn't the sex but her being with me and talking to me that made me feel good again.
But when she left after an hour I felt even worse, knowing I had to endure being alone once again :(
I don't need sex, I just want someone like that with me in my life.
After she left I started to drink myself crazy to numb myself.
I'd like to call her again one day but I know she only likes my money and not me.
I am doomed to always be alone. I don't know for how many years I can stand my life anymore :(

I feel sorry for you. That must be unbearable. If you ever need to chat, just tell me.
 
I am going to go that route, sooner than later. I can handle the fakeness of the encounter, because I am beyond lonely and in need of a woman's touch.
I've been lied to by normal girls, so acting out a GFE won't damage my already destroyed self esteem. At my age, other options are just about nil.
Hopefully I can click with the escort I select and become a regular visitor.
I do think that if you cannot handle your emotions, an escort encounter will only serve to make you more lonely.
 
Internet dating makes me feel pretty much the same way. Although the other person is also hopefully looking for a relationship, I do feel the artificiality of the meeting very deeply and come away often feeling like a complete loser.
 
I've never been able to bring myself to get an escort. I keep thinking about how much it costs for that hourly rate and how many boring hours at work it took me to get that money. So I end up just going bleeeeeeeh and play some video games instead.

The principles are there... Though I don't think that they're the exact ones I'm supposed to have. The end result of not getting an escort is the same though.
 
Apparently some guys don't go through with the intercourse, just pay for someone to pretend to want to talk to them. Life of a prostitute is no great shakes either, though.
 
Limlim said:
I've never been able to bring myself to get an escort. I keep thinking about how much it costs for that hourly rate and how many boring hours at work it took me to get that money. So I end up just going bleeeeeeeh and play some video games instead.

The principles are there... Though I don't think that they're the exact ones I'm supposed to have. The end result of not getting an escort is the same though.

It's very cheap over here. £60 for an half hour GFE.
The girls are normally very nice. I have a few as facebook friends.


ABrokenMan said:
I am going to go that route, sooner than later. I can handle the fakeness of the encounter, because I am beyond lonely and in need of a woman's touch.
I've been lied to by normal girls, so acting out a GFE won't damage my already destroyed self esteem. At my age, other options are just about nil.
Hopefully I can click with the escort I select and become a regular visitor.
I do think that if you cannot handle your emotions, an escort encounter will only serve to make you more lonely.

Escorts would be too much money, I would never do a all nighter for example. It's the only sex I am going to get. I think paid sex is widespread in this country anyway. I always enjoy it. The chatting before hand is also really nice. I think plenty of men do go for the company as well as what goes on.
 
Hawx79 said:
I couldn't bare the loneliness anymore so I called an escort service.
She was friendly and cute. She made me feel good and felt she pulled me out of my hellhole. It wasn't the sex but her being with me and talking to me that made me feel good again.
But when she left after an hour I felt even worse, knowing I had to endure being alone once again :(
I don't need sex, I just want someone like that with me in my life.
After she left I started to drink myself crazy to numb myself.
I'd like to call her again one day but I know she only likes my money and not me.
I am doomed to always be alone. I don't know for how many years I can stand my life anymore :(

This is part of why I won't hire an escort, or go through with a visit to a brothel (although I have tried to go), even though I've been told that these are the only ways I will ever get anyone to touch me, or even spend any time with me.

When I did try to go, it all just felt so .... fake. It felt emotionally empty. And for me, the emotion of an intimate moment, or affection, is what I want to share. Maybe even more than the actual physical experience. But, at least from my experience, they didn't really seem to care if I used my real name, or anything about me. And all the fake pretence that they had been waiting for me all day, and so on and so forth, actually really did make me feel sick. I left, with out doing anything, and felt worse about it.

And for me, there was also that feeling that the girl didn't really want to do it, to be there with me. She was just there for the money, and in a way, I would be forcing her to be with me. Of course, I didn't know why she was in this line of work, what reasons she had, but ... I guess, I mean, that I know I want to share this experience with a girl who actually wants to share it with me too. I want it to be with someone who, at the very least, there is a mutual care for, and about.

I guess I'm doomed to always be alone as well. Even therapists have told me that this is the only way I will ever feel the physical touch of another person. And to be honest, after I left ... pretty much ran out ... I felt like a failure. That I couldn't even do this. I still feel that way about it. A bit. And I guess, I'm always a little afraid that at some point, I will sacrifice what is important to me, and I will go back, and do it ... just to feel the touch of someone else.
 
Cucuboth said:
Hawx79 said:
I couldn't bare the loneliness anymore so I called an escort service.
She was friendly and cute. She made me feel good and felt she pulled me out of my hellhole. It wasn't the sex but her being with me and talking to me that made me feel good again.
But when she left after an hour I felt even worse, knowing I had to endure being alone once again :(
I don't need sex, I just want someone like that with me in my life.
After she left I started to drink myself crazy to numb myself.
I'd like to call her again one day but I know she only likes my money and not me.
I am doomed to always be alone. I don't know for how many years I can stand my life anymore :(

This is part of why I won't hire an escort, or go through with a visit to a brothel (although I have tried to go), even though I've been told that these are the only ways I will ever get anyone to touch me, or even spend any time with me.

When I did try to go, it all just felt so .... fake. It felt emotionally empty. And for me, the emotion of an intimate moment, or affection, is what I want to share. Maybe even more than the actual physical experience. But, at least from my experience, they didn't really seem to care if I used my real name, or anything about me. And all the fake pretence that they had been waiting for me all day, and so on and so forth, actually really did make me feel sick. I left, with out doing anything, and felt worse about it.

And for me, there was also that feeling that the girl didn't really want to do it, to be there with me. She was just there for the money, and in a way, I would be forcing her to be with me. Of course, I didn't know why she was in this line of work, what reasons she had, but ... I guess, I mean, that I know I want to share this experience with a girl who actually wants to share it with me too. I want it to be with someone who, at the very least, there is a mutual care for, and about.

I guess I'm doomed to always be alone as well. Even therapists have told me that this is the only way I will ever feel the physical touch of another person. And to be honest, after I left ... pretty much ran out ... I felt like a failure. That I couldn't even do this. I still feel that way about it. A bit. And I guess, I'm always a little afraid that at some point, I will sacrifice what is important to me, and I will go back, and do it ... just to feel the touch of someone else.

I agree it's not for everybody.
 
I want to call her again and this time letting her know how much I want her in my life, as I want to do anything for her. I could tell her I'd provide and support her so she doesn't need to continue being an escort.
From the last meeting she wasn't personally interested in me, but she did answer all my personal questions truly. I asked about her family and real name and her plans for the future. She is a student and want to become a English teacher.
If only she would love me back, she would give purpose back into my life.
But big chance she wont :(

I know, im desperate, thats only because im at the ends of my wits...
I just don't want to live lonely miserable days anymore.
Apart from her job, she is everything I wanted in a woman and I absolutely believe she can be the one for me, if she only allow me into her life...
 
Hawx79 said:
I want to call her again and this time letting her know how much I want her in my life, as I want to do anything for her. I could tell her I'd provide and support her so she doesn't need to continue being an escort.
From the last meeting she wasn't personally interested in me, but she did answer all my personal questions truly. I asked about her family and real name and her plans for the future. She is a student and want to become a English teacher.
If only she would love me back, she would give purpose back into my life.
But big chance she wont :(

I know, im desperate, thats only because im at the ends of my wits...
I just don't want to live lonely miserable days anymore.
Apart from her job, she is everything I wanted in a woman and I absolutely believe she can be the one for me, if she only allow me into her life...

Rule No 1 - Never fall in love with a working girl !
 
Exactly.
You won't be a ble to change her mind. You guys gotta ditch this 'White Knight' hopeful attitude. She's not gonna care if you think she's Miss Perfection after one session. She isn't. Your mind is creating the fantasy.
If you want / crave physical contact and touch from a woman, an escort will do the trick (pun intended)
But you **have** to be able to turn off the emotions afterwards. If you can't do it, then there is no reason to even bother contacting an escort.
Escorts may be pricey but you get what you pay for. No way would I even consider the Fast Food type prices offered by some of the ladies
 
I don't mean to be rude but is no one the least bit concerned about getting a deadly disease? Nothing is 100% foolproof. I wouldn't do it because one, I only want what I want and everything else I don't so I don't want to spend time on what I don't want, and two, it's just too risky. It would kill me to know that everything was fine one minute, and my whole life was ruined the next. All from one choice that I brought on myself that I could have easily avoided.

I get that the loneliness is really bad, I'm almost 30 and I've never had a girlfriend ever and I don't know when that will change but I can't help but feel that those of you who have used escorts and what not are going about it the wrong way. It's not solving the real problem, it's not getting to the root of the issue. You say it yourselves, once they leave, the loneliness starts up again and you're back to square 1. You're all smart enough to know how it works and how these girls aren't the answer, how they don't really care and it's just work to them. They're paid to be friendly. I'm sure it's very convincing but it's an act and it's not worth the risk.

Every moment you can change your story, look for a different approach, start to change your whole personality if you want to. Every minute is a chance to start over and make a new story. Start a brand-new life. But only as long as the consequences from yesterday don't carry over into today. And if you get a disease, and I think you know the ones I mean, then you can't start over anymore. You're done.

I implore you to reconsider and stop doing this before it's too late, for your own sakes.
 
Yeah but... Escorts are usually women, and many women have boobs. And these Escorts let you touch their boobs.
 
Hawx79 said:
I want to call her again and this time letting her know how much I want her in my life, as I want to do anything for her. I could tell her I'd provide and support her so she doesn't need to continue being an escort.
From the last meeting she wasn't personally interested in me, but she did answer all my personal questions truly. I asked about her family and real name and her plans for the future. She is a student and want to become a English teacher.
If only she would love me back, she would give purpose back into my life.
But big chance she wont :(

I know, im desperate, thats only because im at the ends of my wits...
I just don't want to live lonely miserable days anymore.
Apart from her job, she is everything I wanted in a woman and I absolutely believe she can be the one for me, if she only allow me into her life...


So, because she told you things that may or may not be true and you had ONE evening with her, you fancy yourself in love with you?
I'm not saying I don't believe in love at first sight, but I seriously doubt you are honestly in love with her. I would recommend steering clear of those thoughts. She was doing her job.

As for the diseases aspect. The women are usually tested on a regular basis. It's not the older days where they didn't have easy access to testing. You could get a disease from anyone, at least most escorts and prostitutes get tested.
 
Hawx79 said:
I want to call her again and this time letting her know how much I want her in my life, as I want to do anything for her. I could tell her I'd provide and support her so she doesn't need to continue being an escort.
From the last meeting she wasn't personally interested in me, but she did answer all my personal questions truly. I asked about her family and real name and her plans for the future. She is a student and want to become a English teacher.
If only she would love me back, she would give purpose back into my life.
But big chance she wont :(

I know, im desperate, thats only because im at the ends of my wits...
I just don't want to live lonely miserable days anymore.
Apart from her job, she is everything I wanted in a woman and I absolutely believe she can be the one for me, if she only allow me into her life...

But maybe she isn't really everything you want in a woman. She will have been playing a role when with you (despite answering your questions truly) and her real character could be very, very different from the fantasy figure she came across as.
I do understand your loneliness and desperation though, and share it myself.
 
Hawx79 said:
I want to call her again and this time letting her know how much I want her in my life, as I want to do anything for her. I could tell her I'd provide and support her so she doesn't need to continue being an escort.
From the last meeting she wasn't personally interested in me, but she did answer all my personal questions truly. I asked about her family and real name and her plans for the future. She is a student and want to become a English teacher.
If only she would love me back, she would give purpose back into my life.
But big chance she wont :(

I know, im desperate, thats only because im at the ends of my wits...
I just don't want to live lonely miserable days anymore.
Apart from her job, she is everything I wanted in a woman and I absolutely believe she can be the one for me, if she only allow me into her life...

If you are desperate for a woman in your life then the 'mail order bride' route might be your best bet. I would never do this but I think it goes on. I see plenty of couples, (Older English bloke with a younger oriental woman). Of course finding a legit dating company could prove tricky but it's a lot better than getting involved with an Escort.


TheSkaFish said:
I don't mean to be rude but is no one the least bit concerned about getting a deadly disease? Nothing is 100% foolproof. I wouldn't do it because one, I only want what I want and everything else I don't so I don't want to spend time on what I don't want, and two, it's just too risky. It would kill me to know that everything was fine one minute, and my whole life was ruined the next. All from one choice that I brought on myself that I could have easily avoided.

I get that the loneliness is really bad, I'm almost 30 and I've never had a girlfriend ever and I don't know when that will change but I can't help but feel that those of you who have used escorts and what not are going about it the wrong way. It's not solving the real problem, it's not getting to the root of the issue. You say it yourselves, once they leave, the loneliness starts up again and you're back to square 1. You're all smart enough to know how it works and how these girls aren't the answer, how they don't really care and it's just work to them. They're paid to be friendly. I'm sure it's very convincing but it's an act and it's not worth the risk.

Every moment you can change your story, look for a different approach, start to change your whole personality if you want to. Every minute is a chance to start over and make a new story. Start a brand-new life. But only as long as the consequences from yesterday don't carry over into today. And if you get a disease, and I think you know the ones I mean, then you can't start over anymore. You're done.

I implore you to reconsider and stop doing this before it's too late, for your own sakes.

Each to their own. It goes on. Nothing wrong with it.
 
Tiina63 said:
But maybe she isn't really everything you want in a woman. She will have been playing a role when with you (despite answering your questions truly) and her real character could be very, very different from the fantasy figure she came across as.
I do understand your loneliness and desperation though, and share it myself.

She had decided to be a temporally escort so she could pay all her expenses while still in college, so she wont be doing this work for very long, definitely not longer then a year.
And then later she will definitely find a man in her life and marry her eventually. Why can't that be me?

Just the idea knowing she will find another man then me makes me even lonelier and worthless.
 
Triple Bogey said:
Each to their own. It goes on. Nothing wrong with it.

Eh...I don't know about that. I'm not trying to be preachy, but rather, trying to show some concern for your safety.

I feel that if one thinks life is bad now, it will be worse with an incurable STD where you are guaranteed a very slow, painful, and yes, a very lonely death. And it's all the worse knowing it never had to be that way. Sure there are tests, but things don't always show up right away, especially the worst ones. And I'm sure escorts aren't always honest about their status because they need money like anyone else and it's easy not to tell, especially to someone they don't care about.

I just really believe there has to be a better answer. I would rather spend more time alone reading books on how to get a relationship than risk it all on an escort, especially knowing that it won't even solve the problem. Worrying about whether I got a disease from them or not would drive me insane.
 
TheSkaFish said:
Triple Bogey said:
Each to their own. It goes on. Nothing wrong with it.

Eh...I don't know about that. I'm not trying to be preachy, but rather, trying to show some concern for your safety.

I feel that if one thinks life is bad now, it will be worse with an incurable STD where you are guaranteed a very slow, painful, and yes, a very lonely death. And it's all the worse knowing it never had to be that way. Sure there are tests, but things don't always show up right away, especially the worst ones. And I'm sure escorts aren't always honest about their status because they need money like anyone else and it's easy not to tell, especially to someone they don't care about.

I just really believe there has to be a better answer. I would rather more time alone reading books on how to get a relationship than risk it all on an escort, especially knowing that it won't even solve the problem.

I haven't had any problems in 17 years. Never go bareback is one rule.
Some people haven't got the time for a relationship. Some people can't get dates. It will always go on.


Hawx79 said:
Tiina63 said:
But maybe she isn't really everything you want in a woman. She will have been playing a role when with you (despite answering your questions truly) and her real character could be very, very different from the fantasy figure she came across as.
I do understand your loneliness and desperation though, and share it myself.

She had decided to be a temporally escort so she could pay all her expenses while still in college, so she wont be doing this work for very long, definitely not longer then a year.
And then later she will definitely find a man in her life and marry her eventually. Why can't that be me?

If that's the case then ask her for a proper date ?
Nothing to lose, everything to gain.
 
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