Creative ideas to avoid Christmas with the family?

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Peaches

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I thought that others might have the same problem and I posted this publicly so everyone can profit from the answers (if any).

At the tender age of 40+, I realized that spending Christmas with other people instead of my family simply had never been an option.

A few times I managed to skip it with the excuse of illness but last year that didn't work and my aunt travelled 1000 miles to be with me (although constantly hostile and aggressive) and it was the worst week of my life.


Any ideas/ good excuses to avoid making the trip?

I thought something to do with work, my relatives love work, but they know it's unlikely at this moment. Any other ideas?
 
What if it was something like volunteer work? Of course, this might backfire heavily if your family decides to come visit you, but it's an idea.
 
How about actually doing something so you don't have to make an excuse, like Mr Seal suggested, volunteer, then you won't have to make an excuse and won't get caught.
 
I agree with Sci-Fi and Mr. Seal. Try to make concrete plans that make you unavailable. If it's a charity, who could possibly get mad at you for that? :)
 
Any chance you could get "sick" and not want to infect them?

Fake some ebola symptoms.
 
I wish I had an answer to that right now. In the US and dreading our "thanksgiving" on thursday....you know this glorious holiday where american families gather together to make each other miserable for endless hours. I'd just say no but I do want to be there for my granddaughters....just not feeling up to being around my daughter right now. Oh well.
 
Case said:
I agree with Sci-Fi and Mr. Seal. Try to make concrete plans that make you unavailable. If it's a charity, who could possibly get mad at you for that? :)

:D actually I tried that in 2006 and they DID get mad, because they think "she prefers some random charity, who is NOT family, to us" :)

illness I always use, so I was wondering if there was some other good excuse
 
if I had a boyfriend they would leave me alone, actually no, they would want to meet him/a girlfriend, the same :-/
maybe I can say I won a ticket for a free cruise? (now, that sounds believable)
it must be something that I am OBLIGED to do, unavoidable

:D I wonder how many of you have this problem
 
Peaches said:
Case said:
I agree with Sci-Fi and Mr. Seal. Try to make concrete plans that make you unavailable. If it's a charity, who could possibly get mad at you for that? :)

:D actually I tried that in 2006 and they DID get mad, because they think "she prefers some random charity, who is NOT family, to us" :)

illness I always use, so I was wondering if there was some other good excuse

Who cares if they get mad... You're not a child or incompetent. Spend your holidays doing what you enjoy. They spend theirs how they want.
 
My mom didn't like going to family gatherings, mostly because my mom's brothers and sister just can't get along with each other in one room together. Plus some would talk honeysuckle about others until they walked in the door then acted all loving. My mom told them exactly why we would not go to anymore family Christmas parties. They still invited us off and on but the answer was always no. It was just something they had to accept.

Myself I hated company Christmas parties, I hated going alone and then have to put up with people asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend. None of them seemed to understand how uncomfortable I was there. I liked the people but I had nothing in common and often stood around by myself. I explained it one year to the girl in the office who would confirm who was going. Sometimes I got so nervous I would end up being sick. She seemed to understand but not my boss, he'd get pissed off if you didn't go and wouldn't give you your Christmas bonus.

It's horrible being forced into something you don't want to do or makes you uncomfortable. People need to have a better understanding of that and accept it not as a slight against them.
 
Sci-Fi said:
People need to have a better understanding of that and accept it not as a slight against them.

Goodness, amen to that. I know my guy's family gets, I guess, offended if I don't want to attend one of their family get-togethers. Truth is, they're his family, not mine. I haven't seen my own family in many years, and he's not met one person in my family when I've met a lot of his. They take everything so personally and as such an insult if you don't want to be around them. It's really nothing to do with them. They're just not my family, and they're never going to be.
 
Only my parents inquire about holiday plans. My siblings never talk to me. I won't talk to them either.

I just tell them "I'll be working". There which is truth to it.

I think the worst way I spent a holiday was Thanksgiving at a institution where about 70% of the population got to go home to their family's but I found myself dwelling in a concrete edifice fenced in with chainlink and barbed wire at a dark grey Northwestern American region with a handful of staff members.

Despite that it was dismal, I did find a certain serenity about it. Maybe it was the lack of awkward confrontation with family/relatives. Or was it that I got to observe other people in a holiday situation. Watching others have a gay old time, but not at your expense. It seemed to be a unique feeling.
 

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