Help me.

Leef `c · Jul 7, 2008

I'm not very good at writing words that come from my head because my mind races so much, so bare with me.

When I was 16 I dated a girl online that lived in Toronto. We dated for about a year. While we were dating she met a guy in Toronto & started talking to him. When I found this out I instantly booked a flight to Toronto and tried to win her for myself. We had a lot of fun together and everything was good, but she decided before I left that she'd rather be in a relationship with someone that was closer to her than a distant relationship, which I could respect. Though it hurt me a lot because I was really in love with her, she made me so happy. Well, me and her broke up and she started dating the other guy. I would try to talk to her on MSN, but the guy she was dating was jealous of us talking, so he made her stop talking to me.

We never talked after that until about a year ago. Now we talk all the time as friends, but I'm starting to develop feelings for her again. Actually I couldn't just label them as feelings. I'm madly in love with her. After we talk I always go to bed and constantly think about her and being with her. I miss her so much.

I want to tell her so bad the feelings I have for her & that I'm always thinking about her. I can't pull myself to do it though. She asked me the other day if there were any hard feelings from the past and I told her "No, I'd rather keep you as a friend and keep in touch with you then lose you in the vast world forever." Which is a lie. I don't want to be her friend. I want her to be in my life. My lover.

It's been happening every night since we've started talking again (me obsessively thinking about her) and when I'm in my bed it doesn't seem so hard to just pour my heart out in an email and send it to her telling her how I feel, but once I wake up in the morning I never do it. I just continue talking to her like she's a friend. I'm so tried of pretending.

Do you think it's a good idea to tell her my feelings? It's really taking a beating on me as a person & just making me extremely depressed. I have no motivation for anything anymore unless it involves her. I would do anything in the world for her.

She does have a boyfriend now though, so that's another reason why I've been holding off on telling her. Also I'm scared she might think I'm a creep for having these feelings for her since I was 16 & not being able to let go.

Another thing, I've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up from 16-21 and I've never felt for any of them as I have this girl.

Could someone please give me some advice. I'm going insane.

Bess · Jul 7, 2008

Do you think it's a good idea to tell her my feelings?

yep

Incognita · Jul 7, 2008

've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up

uh oh....I don't think u should tell her that. Some things are better kept untold.
I mean if she had only one dude...and u had 4-5...its a NO-NO-NO to let her know...

Leef `c · Jul 7, 2008

Incognita said:
've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up

Click to expand...

uh oh....I don't think u should tell her that. Some things are better kept untold.
I mean if she had only one dude...and u had 4-5...its a NO-NO-NO to let her know...

Well, I'm not going to tell her that of course. I was just telling you guys that none of them girls made me feel the way she did & was trying to show how much she really meant to me.

Although she's had her fair share I would think.

Leef `c · Jul 7, 2008

Bess said:
Do you think it's a good idea to tell her my feelings?

Click to expand...

yep

One thing though, she does have a boyfriend, currently. Do you still think it would be wise to tell her right now?

Bluey · Jul 8, 2008

I think what you should do is be honest with your feelings. In other words yes I do think you should tell her. Also if she decides that shes having nothing further to do with you cos of it then at least you can put an end to the terminate your feeling. Seems your real stuck on this girl. Well it can't be much fun knowing she is not yours. Say how you feel, ask that if she dose not wont to be your GF that you hope she understands that you needed to be honest to her cos you could not bear hiding it no longer and that you hope she well still be your friend if nothing else. This is what I would do anyway.

GHOSTNYOURMIST · Jul 8, 2008

Sixtyten said:
Another thing, I've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up from 16-21 and I've never felt for any of them as I have this girl.
/quote]

I'm 43 years old and have only had 3 girlfriends(married the last one.) but I have never felt the same as I did about the first one. You never said if she was the first real girlfriend. Personally I think you should tell her. but then again I couldn't for fear of rejection. Hopefully you have more balls than I do. GO FOR IT MAN! you can't be satisfied till you know for sure.

Leef `c · Jul 8, 2008

GHOSTNYOURMIST said:
Sixtyten said:

Another thing, I've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up from 16-21 and I've never felt for any of them as I have this girl.
/quote]

I'm 43 years old and have only had 3 girlfriends(married the last one.) but I have never felt the same as I did about the first one. You never said if she was the first real girlfriend. Personally I think you should tell her. but then again I couldn't for fear of rejection. Hopefully you have more balls than I do. GO FOR IT MAN! you can't be satisfied till you know for sure.

Click to expand...

No, she was not my first, but she's the only one I felt like I loved.

And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

Leef `c · Jul 8, 2008

Bluey said:
I think what you should do is be honest with your feelings. In other words yes I do think you should tell her. Also if she decides that shes having nothing further to do with you cos of it then at least you can put an end to the terminate your feeling. Seems your real stuck on this girl. Well it can't be much fun knowing she is not yours. Say how you feel, ask that if she dose not wont to be your GF that you hope she understands that you needed to be honest to her cos you could not bear hiding it no longer and that you hope she well still be your friend if nothing else. This is what I would do anyway.

That's the thing. If I tell her and I know she doesn't want to be more than friends than I have decided not to talk to her as a friend anymore, which is probably going to make me even more depressed, but help me in the long run.

Bluey · Jul 8, 2008

Sixtyten said:
Bluey said:

I think what you should do is be honest with your feelings. In other words yes I do think you should tell her. Also if she decides that shes having nothing further to do with you cos of it then at least you can put an end to the terminate your feeling. Seems your real stuck on this girl. Well it can't be much fun knowing she is not yours. Say how you feel, ask that if she dose not wont to be your GF that you hope she understands that you needed to be honest to her cos you could not bear hiding it no longer and that you hope she well still be your friend if nothing else. This is what I would do anyway.

Click to expand...

That's the thing. If I tell her and I know she doesn't want to be more than friends than I have decided not to talk to her as a friend anymore, which is probably going to make me even more depressed, but help me in the long run.

If you tell her and she is not interested in being no moor then friends could you not still be her friend? If you like her then am sure you would still wont that. But I do get you. As long as your talking to her friends or not then your never going to move on. Only you can decide whether or not you can handle just being friends. one way or another you need to sort it. So if you don't say anything you well never know. Better that it ends sooner rather then later. That way you save your self the pain of it later. Then you are able to start looking for others.

Leef `c · Jul 8, 2008

Bluey said:
Sixtyten said:

Bluey said:

I think what you should do is be honest with your feelings. In other words yes I do think you should tell her. Also if she decides that shes having nothing further to do with you cos of it then at least you can put an end to the terminate your feeling. Seems your real stuck on this girl. Well it can't be much fun knowing she is not yours. Say how you feel, ask that if she dose not wont to be your GF that you hope she understands that you needed to be honest to her cos you could not bear hiding it no longer and that you hope she well still be your friend if nothing else. This is what I would do anyway.

Click to expand...

That's the thing. If I tell her and I know she doesn't want to be more than friends than I have decided not to talk to her as a friend anymore, which is probably going to make me even more depressed, but help me in the long run.

Click to expand...

If you tell her and she is not interested in being no moor then friends could you not still be her friend? If you like her then am sure you would still wont that. But I do get you. As long as your talking to her friends or not then your never going to move on. Only you can decide whether or not you can handle just being friends. one way or another you need to sort it. So if you don't say anything you well never know. Better that it ends sooner rather then later. That way you save your self the pain of it later. Then you are able to start looking for others.

No, I couldn't just be her friend. That's what I'm acting like now & it's killing me inside. I want more, so if it doesn't work out the way I wanted I'd rather not have her at all & try to forget it.

Leef `c · Jul 8, 2008

sleepflower said:
i'd suss out how close this girl is to her boyfriend first. if she's head over heels in love with him, then its probably best that you don't tell her, since its likely she'll reject you which will be really terrible for you and make you feel even more honeysuckle than you feel now.

if they have cracks in they're relationship then tell her and sweep her off her feet.

That's the thing. She doesn't really seem like she's that into him. She never mentions him to me or anything.

I really have no idea.

Naleena · Jul 9, 2008

Sixtyten said:
No, she was not my first, but she's the only one I felt like I loved.

And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

Hello Sixtyten,
What is it that you love about her? Can you share?

Leef `c · Jul 9, 2008

Naleena said:
Sixtyten said:

No, she was not my first, but she's the only one I felt like I loved.

And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

Click to expand...

Hello Sixtyten,
What is it that you love about her? Can you share?

The energy I felt when I was with her. It was something that I had never experienced before. I couldn't describe it, but I remember when I was there and when we were taking the transit home one late night she laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep & just then I felt so happy and just I dunno. I felt like nothing could ever go wrong in my life again at that moment.

I've never felt like that over something so simple.

Naleena · Jul 9, 2008

Sixtyten said:
Naleena said:

Sixtyten said:

No, she was not my first, but she's the only one I felt like I loved.

And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

Click to expand...

Hello Sixtyten,
What is it that you love about her? Can you share?

Click to expand...

The energy I felt when I was with her. It was something that I had never experienced before. I couldn't describe it, but I remember when I was there and when we were taking the transit home one late night she laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep & just then I felt so happy and just I dunno. I felt like nothing could ever go wrong in my life again at that moment.

I've never felt like that over something so simple.

I love the way you put that. The "energy" you felt. I believe in those connections that happen between two people. I love to hear stories like that. It is the little moments that steal our hearts away.
Thank you for sharing that with me

bookbinder · Jul 9, 2008

Sixtyten said:
And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

She's only a woman. (Not to oversimplify honeysuckle or anything.)

Leef `c · Jul 9, 2008

zraskolnikov said:
Sixtyten said:

And yeah... I feel if I tell her I'm just letting all my shields down and just standing there waiting for my execution.

Click to expand...

She's only a woman. (Not to oversimplify honeysuckle or anything.)

Yeah, to you. She's only a woman.

Incognita · Jul 9, 2008

Sixtyten said:
Incognita said:

've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke up

Click to expand...

uh oh....I don't think u should tell her that. Some things are better kept untold.
I mean if she had only one dude...and u had 4-5...its a NO-NO-NO to let her know...

Click to expand...

Well, I'm not going to tell her that of course. I was just telling you guys that none of them girls made me feel the way she did & was trying to show how much she really meant to me.

yea..i understand that. I have same feelings toward only one person out of everybody else.

I just said that in case u might decide to be very honest.

Incognita · Jul 9, 2008

Sixtyten said:
Bess said:

Do you think it's a good idea to tell her my feelings?

Click to expand...

yep

Click to expand...

One thing though, she does have a boyfriend, currently. Do you still think it would be wise to tell her right now?

Find out about her relationship with that boyfriend.
Why would she ask u if there were any hard feeling left still?

Incognita · Jul 9, 2008

GHOSTNYOURMIST said:
GO FOR IT MAN! you can't be satisfied till you know for sure.

If u love her u definately should tell her but pick the right moment...

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