Work conundrum

Each year (since I've been working there) in December, I have gathered donations to buy the bosses (two owners and the service manager who is the owner's bother/brother in law) a Christmas gift.
In the three previous years, every single employee donated about $20 (some slightly more). I was always in charge of purchasing the gifts and cards and wrapping them (aside from one of the owners and myself, all the employees are male).
Also, on the last day of work before we are off for Christmas, I would cook a huge meal for everyone and we'd have a Christmas lunch. When I say huge, I mean huge (and very costly). There would usually be a little money left from donations to put toward the cost of the food (making things like prime rib is pretty expensive) maybe $20 or $30. Id usually spend about $100 of my own money.
This year, for some reason, only 7 o the 13 employees donated. I always put a notice at the time clock, so everyone will know when I begin to start taking the donations, so it's not like they didn't know.
Well, since 6 of them didn't donate, that left ME to fork over $120 of my own money to make sure all three bosses got something.
Cooking a nice lunch for everyone is my way of giving everyone else a little something for the holidays. They are guys....they LOVE to eat.
Because of the donations being short, and me having to cover nearly half the cost of the gifts, I'm not sure that I want to spend another $100+ for food. Not only that, I'm pretty upset that so many didn't donate. The owners take us to a nice place to eat lunch every year for Xmas. Everyone orders exactly what they want and it's all paid for. They also give us a Christmas bonus at the lunch. This year it was $1,000. It's not like everyone couldn't afford to give a little back. $20 out of $1,000 isn't much. Yes, I know the people I work with very well, including whether or not they can afford $20.
I don't want to feel like I'm penalizing anyone, but as I said...Im a bit put out that so many didn't donate and I don't think I should have to spend money to feed them all, considering it was ME who had to make up the difference in the money.
But what about the ones who DID donate? There are several of them who are single and REALY look forward to home cooking. One of them has been talking about my meatballs for a month.
I'm not really sure if I should just say screw it, and when asked why I didn't do lunch, being honest and saying that people didn't donate and I had to pay for the rest of the gifts and didn't want to buy all the food. But...I don't want the ones that donated to feel bad. It's not like I can cook and say that the ones who didn't donate can't eat!
The owners aren't perfect, but they tolerate a lot of crap from a number of their employees.
I think giving a little something back, for what they do, is certainly called for.

Any suggestions?

I have no suggestion, just rather amazed after a bonus like that.

When you start taking donations, i wonder if it would be more effective to ask each one if they want to donate. That is a little harder to ignore than a sign on the time clock.

Wow that is amazing what you do! Is too late to ask the ones who didn't contribute again, maybe individually? Is it possible they saw the notice and meant to contribute, but forgot?

I did mention it to two of them when I remembered. Hell, one is the owner's NEPHEW for Pete's sake. They both said they'd donate and then didn't. That was last week.
I'm not one to hound people for money. In my opinion, it's kind of crappy for them not to remember on their own. They KNOW someone had to pay for those gifts when they signed the cards.

Honestly, I wouldn't cook this lunch. Couldn't hurt to ask the others if they could pitch in. As far as putting the extra in, no way, you get what you can get your bosses with the money people donated.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a conundrum. I understand that you were trying to do a good thing, but it was a donation, as you said, and I guess some of them don't wish to participate. It would have been nice if they'd let you know this in advance.

Those that did donate are probably looking forward to your meal, but it's not fair to expect you to pay for everything. If it were me, I think that I would tell my workmates that I had to spend a considerable amount to make up the shortfall and while I am still willing to make the meal, those who did not donate will have to pony up if they wish to participate in the meal. If not, then you can just purchase less and have the meal for those that chose to get into the spirit of the season.

It's the whole moderator conundrum all over again: no matter what you choose to do, someone is probably going to be offended.

OR, Eve could just be like "each of you will bring a dish to the party."

Cavey said:

It sounds like you're in a bit of a conundrum. I understand that you were trying to do a good thing, but it was a donation, as you said, and I guess some of them don't wish to participate. It would have been nice if they'd let you know this in advance.

Those that did donate are probably looking forward to your meal, but it's not fair to expect you to pay for everything. If it were me, I think that I would tell my workmates that I had to spend a considerable amount to make up the shortfall and while I am still willing to make the meal, those who did not donate will have to pony up if they wish to participate in the meal. If not, then you can just purchase less and have the meal for those that chose to get into the spirit of the season.

It's the whole moderator conundrum all over again: no matter what you choose to do, someone is probably going to be offended.

Click to expand...

Yes, Im sure it would cause a stink if I were to say that anyone who didn't donate couldn't eat. In truth, Id never do that. I'd just plaster a smile on my face and pretend that I wasn't ticked off at them.
Ours is a small company and I actually like everyone (most of the time, lol). So, I wouldn't want to rock the boat, so to speak. Everyone works well together and the guys show me a lot of respect.
I don't think the extra money I had to spend is worth the possibility of damaging work relations.
I'm still mulling over what to do since I have a week or so before I need to decide.

---

SophiaGrace said:

OR, Eve could just be like "each of you will bring a dish to the party."

Click to expand...

That might be an OK idea if most of them weren't bachelors (no cooking skills - so they say) and I trusted them enough to eat their cooking. Truth is, Im pretty funny about eating other people's cooking and doubt I'd want to eat what a number of them brought. lol

SophiaGrace said:

OR, Eve could just be like "each of you will bring a dish to the party."

Click to expand...

That might be an OK idea if most of them weren't bachelors (no cooking skills - so they say) and I trusted them enough to eat their cooking. Truth is, Im pretty funny about eating other people's cooking and doubt I'd want to eat what a number of them brought. lol
[/quote]

Edit:

Eve could say "Since I didn't get enough donations this year as of yet, the party will be a bring your own dish party unless donations increase. "

and set up a donation jar on your desk that says "Donations to Eve's Delicious Christmas Dinner Party"

Threaten and guilt 'em a little Eve.

SophiaGrace said:

SophiaGrace said:

OR, Eve could just be like "each of you will bring a dish to the party."

Click to expand...

That might be an OK idea if most of them weren't bachelors (no cooking skills - so they say) and I trusted them enough to eat their cooking. Truth is, Im pretty funny about eating other people's cooking and doubt I'd want to eat what a number of them brought. lol

Click to expand...

Edit:

Eve could say "Since I didn't get enough donations this year as of yet, the party will be a bring your own dish party unless donations increase. "

and set up a donation jar on your desk that says "Donations to Eve's Delicious Christmas Dinner Party"

Threaten and guilt 'em a little Eve.
[/quote]

LOL...a fabulous idea.

We have had similar 'participation imbalances' at my company, so I can identify with your dilemma. I agree, from what you have said, that some of the fellas 'dropped the ball' this year.

However, based upon some of the comments you made, it seems like you genuinely look forward to hosting the event and at the end of the day, it makes you feel good. Having said that, do it for that reason alone. I think you will still get the same joy from it and it sounds like everyone else definitely will, too.

Perhaps instead of the prime rib this year, you choose a less expensive entree. Change up the side dishes and desserts for things that can still feed a crowd, but are more cost efficient. If and when someone does ask about the menu change, you can explain that the funds were more limited this year. They'll get your meaning.

What time should I be there and what can I bring?!

Minus said:

I have no suggestion, just rather amazed after a bonus like that.

Click to expand...

I know. We got our Christmas bonus yesterday: A slice of decadent cheesecake of the flavor of our choice. So too bad for people who are carb-conscious, lactose intolerant or gluten intolerant, or just plain don't like sweets.

Ad the kicker is, I've been doing serious carb restriction the past 6 months, so that piece of cheesecake hit me like a wall. I've felt sluggish and headachey since. Meh.

As for Eve and the question at had: That is tricky. I know I would probably end up just sucking it up and doing it without saying anything because I hate uncomfortabe confrontations in a work environment. :/ The donation jar is not a bad idea.