question about facebook

This lass at work isn't on facebook yet she claims she can read everything I put on there. A photograph of her was put on there yesterday and I made a comment. I asked her what I had written this morning, she didn't know but later on said the exact words. She somehow knew. I suspected the other staff showing her using their smart phones but they all denied it. My security settings are for 'friends' only. It's not the first time she has done this. In fact once she got cross because I had made a joke about the football team she supports.

Anybody got any ideas how she is doing this ?
And a second question is Why ?

Are you absolutely sure your settings are 'friends' only? Best way to check is to go into your privacy settings - somewhere in that section is a way to view your profile as it appears to the public. If there is anything you don't want showing, you can manually go in to your profile and change the privacy settings on each item/comment. Facebook is tricky - things you assume are private aren't, especially with pictures.

As to why...no clue. She is nosy?!

ringwood said:

Are you absolutely sure your settings are 'friends' only? Best way to check is to go into your privacy settings - somewhere in that section is a way to view your profile as it appears to the public. If there is anything you don't want showing, you can manually go in to your profile and change the privacy settings on each item/comment. Facebook is tricky - things you assume are private aren't, especially with pictures.

As to why...no clue. She is nosy?!

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I just looked and it says 'friends only'

I don't mind really, I have nothing on there I don't want her to see. But she is teasing me about it. I think she may have simply asked one of the other staff and they lied about it to me. I accused her of having a spy and one of the staff it 'wasn't her'

She is flirting with me quite a bit. We have a history that goes back over 15 years and it isn't good. In fact it's awful. The worst possible honeysuckle you can imagine. I don't 100% trust her, even now after all these years !

She's either getting the info from friends you have on there or your settings are for the world.

Who knows why she's doing it. Weird.

I thought till reading your last comment that she might fancy you and want to go out with you, but then when I read that you and she have a bad history, I started feeling confused. If things have been that bad with her, I would try my best to keep out of her way. Even if she does want to start something with you, would you really want to be in a friendship or rleationship with her?

You could do what I did and remove all possible work connections from facebook in order to have more privacy.

Tiina63 said:

I thought till reading your last comment that she might fancy you and want to go out with you, but then when I read that you and she have a bad history, I started feeling confused. If things have been that bad with her, I would try my best to keep out of her way. Even if she does want to start something with you, would you really want to be in a friendship or rleationship with her?

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The bad history bit - She complained about me to the manager. Said I made her feel uncomfortable. Just by been around her. I didn't actually do anything or say anything wrong, she just didn't like me. I could have lost my job. It was 15 years ago. We are friends now, it's never mentioned. We tease each other. We have tons in common. I wouldn't want a relationship with her though. I don't think she wants to go out with anybody.

She's probably getting it from someone, just to tease you I'd guess, to play with you as you dont expect it. Maybe she has a fake account without any visible connections to her, in your friends list?

Erevetot said:

She's probably getting it from someone, just to tease you I'd guess, to play with you as you dont expect it. Maybe she has a fake account without any visible connections to her, in your friends list?

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Yes I think you are right. Somebody is just passing the information on to her.

Hmmmm.... Is she like... Crazy?

SophiaGrace said:

You could do what I did and remove all possible work connections from facebook in order to have more privacy.

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I would do this. Or set privacy settings to ALL work colleagues. I trust no one.

Nicholas said:

Hmmmm.... Is she like... Crazy?

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She's an odd character. Friendly when she wants to be but secretive. Doesn't have friends, just hangs about with her parents.

Firstly, you don't need an account to search facebook, so just to be sure about your security settings, log out then search your name to see what's visible to the public.

Regarding the photo you commented on, if she can find the photo she can see the comments. Again she doesn't have to have an account or be your FB friend for that. As for anything on your wall, well assuming your security settings aren't 'public' she's getting the information from somewhere, which is a worry.

Sounds like the kind of person who will reel you in just to reject you again (either as a friend or boyfriend.) As you know I've had experience with this; once you stop bothering they suddenly become friendly, as if they enjoy the challenge of getting you to drop your guard only for things to return to what they were once that happens.

I'd keep the relationship where it is right now and not be lulled into anything more than casual conversation with her.

ardour said:

Firstly, you don't need an account to search facebook, so just to be sure about your security settings, log out then search your name to see what's visible to the public.

Regarding the photo you commented on, if she can find the photo she can see the comments. Again she doesn't have to have an account or be your FB friend for that. As for anything on your wall, well assuming your security settings aren't 'public' she's getting the information from somewhere, which is a worry.

Sounds like the kind of person who will reel you in just to reject you again (either as a friend or boyfriend.) As you know I've had experience with this; once you stop bothering they suddenly become friendly, as if they enjoy the challenge of getting you to drop your guard only for things to return to what they were once that happens.

I'd keep the relationship where it is right now and not be lulled into anything more than casual conversation with her.

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Yes you are right. I know all the flirting and teasing is just workplace bullshit. I have no contact with her outside of work which I am happy about.

It's obvious she is getting her info from the other staff. They are always walking about with their smart phones during working hours.

Triple Bogey said:

She's an odd character. Friendly when she wants to be but secretive.

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Obviously I don't know, but from what you said previously she sounds like a flake with a victim complex. Friendly and flirty now, but she'll turn cold and act like she thinks you're about to start stalking her again the moment you return any of this. Then you'll spend days worrying about what went wrong, what you could do to improve her opinion of you etc. Just don't.

ardour said:

Triple Bogey said:

She's an odd character. Friendly when she wants to be but secretive.

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Obviously I don't know, but from what you said previously she sounds like a flake with a victim complex. Friendly and flirty now, but she'll turn cold and act like she thinks you're about to start stalking her again the moment you return any of this. Then you'll spend days worrying about what went wrong, what you could do to improve her opinion of you etc. Just don't.

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Don't worry I know how to handle her. I have had 17 years experience of it. The last 2 years or so, she has turned into a reasonable, friendly person. She may have grown up since turning 40 ?

Before that she was a nightmare. Sulking because I wouldn't pay her loads of attention, completely blanking me for no reason, not talking - I could write a book. I stopped caring, I don't worry about her or what she thinks. (I wrote the thread because I wondered about the facebook thing) - She has problems and demons. Something is going on in her head. It's a shame because we have loads in common and I reckon we could get on with each other. I still think she likes me in some way. If I don't talk to her straight away, say I walk past her a couple of times and don't speak. I leave it for 30 minutes and then I talk, she looks so happy. She tries to hide it but I see it in her eyes, they sparkle with joy, her face completely changes, a huge sense of happiness, she always turns away so I don't notice. It's like she worries I'm 'not talking' or something and then when I talk she is very happy and relieved. No other woman acts like that. It's crazy a grown woman acts like this. She's always done that. Maybe she is insecure or something. Mostly I do talk to her because some of the other staff are miserable gits !

Maybe she's using a fake account. Do you have any fb friends that you never met in person? She could be one of them.

Seeker_2.0 said:

Maybe she's using a fake account. Do you have any fb friends that you never met in person? She could be one of them.

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No I know all my friends on there. She has no idea on how FB really works either.

Hey you sure that she does not have another account.. A fake account and that she is a friend of yours on FB? it is possible right?

Nuzzy Nuz said:

Hey you sure that she does not have another account.. A fake account and that she is a friend of yours on FB? it is possible right?

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No she's definitely not my friend on FB.
She's stopped talking about it as well.