I'm losing the battle...

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F

fox

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I don't even really know what to say

I made a thread about something else that has gone wrong, and now within days worse things have come crashing down on me

I'm not coping and I see no positive way out

I thought I was doing everything right, I was trying so hard and made so much progress, and then the dark reality comes to hit me like a bag of bricks, and I'm worse than I started. It wasn't good enough, and I don't think it will ever be good enough

My meds that I thought were helping feel like sugar pills now... attempts at coping strategies and CBT that I learned a year ago when in the hospital, have provided no relief for me

I'm losing the battle and I see no option but to accept my defeat
 
Hey Fox if it would help having somebody to talk to pm me. Sorry youre struggling, i go through that dark tunnel about once a week lately where it feels like all of life is hopeless then a few days later it stretches back to okay again. I think the thing about CBT is you gotta keep doing it for it to continue working because that stuff it reprogrammed can come back. The way i understand it youve got bundles of nerves in your brain dedicated to behavior and one can be dedicated to negative and one to positive and its like two dogs fighting and whichever one you feed is the one that wins. Least thats my understanding of it, the old ones will die out when it sits unused.

Theres always an option btw. Sometimes thats not clear but its usually there where we least expect it.

Anyway seriously if you dont talk to me, please talk to somebody it might help. Hope youll be okay.
 
I swear those pills don't work. I still have a few bottles of them. I quit taking them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off on them, because I'm such a mess not taking anything, but I've read nothing but terrible things about anti-depressants. I'm sorry to hear this though. I'm going through the same thing, except, I've already accepted the fact that I'm not gonna win. I realized i'm not meant to, not supposed to.
 
I've noticed the exact same effect on a friend of mine who's on anti-depressants, the moment he stops taking them his entire world crumbles. I don't believe in meds anyway, so my advice would be to consult your doctor and see if he can treat you without pills, it may be hard to face reality "unarmed", so to speak, but eventually it may at least stabilize your emotions. (i'm not a doctor or anything btw, just observing what I've seen with my friend)
 
Hang there... You declared that this is a battle...If that is what it is HOW THIS IS WORLD COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF GIVING UP ?????? No you should never ever dare bou thinking that u r gonna give up...NO WAY!!!! You are gonna stand this tall..BE DARN STRONG!!! No one can pull you down not with all your experiences. It is your life!!!! Its your battle...You are gonna fight it and you know what no matter how many times they break you, you are gonna come out whole and you are gonna WIN it!!! Understood???
 
You call it a battle, and as a battle there will be loses in both sides. That's how it goes sadly, you try hard, it seems ok, you make progress, then it hits you back down. Don't give up, if you felt like you had some progress, then you're on the right path, you just have to find something to pull you up when you get down, the progress will get more and more real. Some people can win in days, some in months, for some it's easier that others. What matters is that as long as you want it you will win this, try finding something to keep you strong
 
fox *hugs*

There isn't much we can do here but to offer words of support and encouragement. It is tough to find any hint of hope when everything comes crashing down on you, I think a lot of us here can relate to that. But I hope that you will pull through this and not stop walking. Sending you my best wishes and positivity, I hope you find the strength to keep on going despite all this. Please hang in there and talk to us whenever you like, we're always here to hear you out. Feel free to PM me as well if you like.
 
I think the saying for this is "when it rains, it pours". Eventually the rain stops, though there's no telling how long things will be muddy.

Regardless of what you do and don't believe about medication, please don't simply stop taking it unless you know it's safe or have a plan to wean yourself off. They're not literally sugar pills, and sudden or unexpected changes in your body can do more harm than good.
 
dear Fox, from what you write it's not pills that can help you, but rather a safe roof on your head and some quiet without terrible things happening around you, and only after that it makes sense to stop and worry about your feelings.

I think that you are already a hero only by coping as much as you can without going crazy or violent, I really hope that you can find a solution to your practical problems, wish I could help in some way but I think we are on two different sides of the ocean.
 

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