BlackCat
Well-known member
Hello everyone! My name is Chris, and I'm going to be 18 in a month. I'm from the United States, specifically North Carolina. I'm also a Wiccan. I'm a very nice person who is very open minded. I've recently been through an experience that I think will make me unable to love for some time.
When I was 12 years old I discovered the wonderful world of the internet. Answers to everyday issues, playing games with people from around the world, talking to my friends for free whenever I wanted. One of the first things I found on the internet was a girl, her name was Lauren. We met in a chat room, it was the "Teen Chat" section in Java chat rooms. I believe it got shut down due to pedophiles, now there is only adult chat.
Anyways. We talked on that chat room for a few months, then she got me to get AIM. Then my friends all got AIM, my life was pretty much changed for the better then. I lived only 45 minutes from Lauren (though we never met up), we did try to meet many times. We liked each other by the time we were 13, and I was head over heels in love with her by the time I was 14. We knew everything about each other. I could read her like a book, it was good though. We talked about everything in the world. She also helped me through teenage angst and the hardest stages and puberty, and through my suicidal phase. I think she saved me just from being there.
Then, one day when I was just turning 17, she just stopped logging on. I was going to ask to meet her for my birthday, seeing as how I had gotten my driver's license about 2 weeks before. I was completely devastated after a couple of months, it was like living without my shadow. If I didn't have my close friends, I would have been empty.
Then, about a month ago, she just logged on. I lit up and IMed her with WOW!! What's been up?! Then, what she told me then made me feel the worst I've ever felt in my entire life. She was going to college in Ohio and had to move, and also had a boyfriend. It was unreal to me. This girl I had loved for years... Now completely out of reach.
We talk like we used to, but it doesn't seem the same. I love her, and she understands this (we talk about it) and she wants to help me through it. I have admitted that to move on with my life I have to get over her and accept her as just a friend, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Plus, I live in the middle of no where, so there is no one else around here whatsoever. The only way I can move on is to find someone else to love I think. I hope to find love soon (a guy or a girl), otherwise this black hole in my heart will never fill.
Blessed be!
-Chris
When I was 12 years old I discovered the wonderful world of the internet. Answers to everyday issues, playing games with people from around the world, talking to my friends for free whenever I wanted. One of the first things I found on the internet was a girl, her name was Lauren. We met in a chat room, it was the "Teen Chat" section in Java chat rooms. I believe it got shut down due to pedophiles, now there is only adult chat.
Anyways. We talked on that chat room for a few months, then she got me to get AIM. Then my friends all got AIM, my life was pretty much changed for the better then. I lived only 45 minutes from Lauren (though we never met up), we did try to meet many times. We liked each other by the time we were 13, and I was head over heels in love with her by the time I was 14. We knew everything about each other. I could read her like a book, it was good though. We talked about everything in the world. She also helped me through teenage angst and the hardest stages and puberty, and through my suicidal phase. I think she saved me just from being there.
Then, one day when I was just turning 17, she just stopped logging on. I was going to ask to meet her for my birthday, seeing as how I had gotten my driver's license about 2 weeks before. I was completely devastated after a couple of months, it was like living without my shadow. If I didn't have my close friends, I would have been empty.
Then, about a month ago, she just logged on. I lit up and IMed her with WOW!! What's been up?! Then, what she told me then made me feel the worst I've ever felt in my entire life. She was going to college in Ohio and had to move, and also had a boyfriend. It was unreal to me. This girl I had loved for years... Now completely out of reach.
We talk like we used to, but it doesn't seem the same. I love her, and she understands this (we talk about it) and she wants to help me through it. I have admitted that to move on with my life I have to get over her and accept her as just a friend, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Plus, I live in the middle of no where, so there is no one else around here whatsoever. The only way I can move on is to find someone else to love I think. I hope to find love soon (a guy or a girl), otherwise this black hole in my heart will never fill.
Blessed be!
-Chris
