Fears for 2015

I normally can start a New Year with high hopes. Last year, I made goals, and I managed to complete them. Mind you, I was a little slow at getting everything done. But I got it done. And I have seen myself grow in ways that I wasn't sure were possible.

But this year, there is a few things I am afraid of. And to be honest, I am not sure what kind of goals I can make, because I can't prevent everything.

First thing...I am terrified that I may lose my mom. Part of me is hurting, because it seems like she has given up a lot. She didn't want to start treatments until after the New Year, because she didn't want to be sick over the holidays. To be honest, I probably would have chosen the same route.

And I don't want to sound like a horrible person...But I am worried that if my mom passes away, my children and I won't have anywhere to stay. Right now, I take care of 90% of the finances in her home. But if she passes, I won't be able to live with my sister and her bf here. I have set up a savings and will be trying to get as much saved up as I can.

I have a big fear of losing my job. It probably isn't the most realistic, because I have had my employers tell me how much of an asset I am. This probably just goes under the category of taking care of most of the finances for my family. People need me right now, I can't lose what I have.

I am still adjusting to life after separating from my husband. It's tough. I think I am doing a good job, but I know there is things that I could improve.

Sorry for the rambling

Hi Amy,

I am so sorry your Mum is ill. I really hope things better on that front.

Sounds like you have your head screwed on trying to save. I think you are doing great. All you can really do is to be prepared, but not dwell on thinking about the future. Just focus on the day or week in front of you. Maybe also make sure you schedule in time for yourself something calming and also what brings you joy to help keep you mentally strong. This could help the emotions linked to your fears.

I can relate to some of what you are going through. If you need to vent or talk pm me.

Good luck

I was in your situation (and still am, to a certain extent) a little over four years ago when my ex left.
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk about it.

I, too, was in your situation. It gets better, I promise you that. Try not to worry too much about the future because you won't know what's going to happen until it gets here. Live for today, worry about today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and you can worry about it then. Do what you can, do you best and you will get what you need. You'll find a way to make it work, people like us always do. The worry, while hard not to do, will only stress you out more, so try not to worry too much.

I'll continue to say prayers for your mom and/or keep her in my thoughts. <3

AmytheTemperamental said:

my children and I won't have anywhere to stay. Right now, I take care of 90% of the finances in her home. But if she passes, I won't be able to live with my sister and her bf here. I have set up a savings and will be trying to get as much saved up as I can.

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I am not sure of you circumstance but wouldn't your mom's assets be given to you in the estate? Would the home need to be sold and the funds given to you in your share? Even if mom doesn't have a will the law provides for where the assets go.

Also could you move in with someone else (even if not your sister) -- but a roommate. There are tons of them on line and some pretty decent services. And you can split costs.

I have a big fear of losing my job

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.

But if you were laid off wouldn't they have to pay you unemployment insurance. You qualify if you are laid off through no fault of your own. It gets you 32 weeks of unemployment and if you find temporary work it extends your time on it.

*hugs* Amy. I'm sorry you have so much you're worried about.

I hope things will work out for you, they always do somehow, in some way. You have support here as you can see. I hope you try to remain calm and positive despite all that you worry about and hope that you remain strong to go through it all too. I don't have any good advice to give but take it one day at a time, so as not to overwhelm yourself and believe that they will work out.

I wish you all the best and please take care.

AmytheTemperamental said:

First thing...I am terrified that I may lose my mom. Part of me is hurting, because it seems like she has given up a lot. She didn't want to start treatments until after the New Year, because she didn't want to be sick over the holidays. To be honest, I probably would have chosen the same route.

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so sorry about your mom…

it is quite reasonable for you to worry about your future, and you were wise trying to save up and find another situation, but as Callie says until you are there you can't really do anything or see how things are going to be, so hope you can reach the point where you don't think about it.

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about the question: personally I think that I will get cancer or another serious illness, I am just too unhappy, that is my main fear

Peaches said:

about the question: personally I think that I will get cancer or another serious illness, I am just too unhappy, that is my main fear

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I hope this won't happen to you.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. I've spent the last couple of years worrying if this going to be the year that I lose somebody I care about. Pretty much since 2012, I've been thinking about it. The problem is, it's made me less happy in the present in those years, and while we did make it, I worried the whole time. I'm really worried about my Grandma and Boomer. We've had a lot of scares and issues over the last couple years. We're all still here, but I've been worrying almost constantly. The thing is, I know that worrying isn't helping them, and that it isn't going to soften the blow of anything happening to them. I want to just stop and enjoy the present with them and be happy while they are here. But I can't get my mind to stop thinking about it.