suicidal and lonely after losing first love

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hi, im an 18 year old male and i have recently suffered from a breakup. I have been with the girl for 3 months and it was my first love. Girls call me cute all the time and even my guy friends say im a good looking guy. I am scared im going to be alone. All i do is sit in my room all day i had a job but i got fired, i drink about 4 beer a night and just listen to music. I feel angry and sad and alone. I got screwed over by my job and my ex, I feel like i don't even have an identity anymore. I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and i was given zoloft but i haven't taken it yet. I try to be a good and careing guy but that hasn't gotten me far........ Also i've been having trouble eating and sleeping. And i have been drinking about 2 tall cans of strong beer a night which gets me drunk. I have tried therapy and i have supportive friends and family but nothing seems to be working. I feel like im losing myself and i feel lost. Every morning i think about her in my sleep and it wakes me up and i can't get back to sleep. I honestly feel like ending it right now, ive been having thoughts of suicide for a while because whats the point? life just seems like a bunch of crap. Rarely anything good comes out of it and when it does it gets taken away from me for no reason.
 
When I lost my first love, I didn't touch another girl for five years. Yep, it blows...
 
I hate saying things like "there'll be other girls". I don't think it matters that much whether or not and when there'll be someone else to a young person who's just broken up. What's important is that there's life after it: plenty of room to expand emotionally, and plenty of other things that can make you feel good outside of beer and music. Even someone like me who doesn't have a single person outside of family to call can find something to love. Maybe give the women a break and fall in love with something simple like a book or a dog who teach you about feeling instead of asking it of you.
 
That sucks. I'm sorry that happened and it's an awful feeling to break up with someone you feel that passionately about. I know this won't sound like much just reading my text here but those feelings do get easier to deal with over time. Also, you mentioned you were given a prescription to help with anxiety? Maybe try slowing your drinking a bit and try that out? It's worth a shot if it can make you feel better right?
 
Drinking will not help. Please try to find a support group. There are a lot of them out there no matter where you live.

I've been there and I know it hurts. If you need to talk, please PM me.
 
I'm glad you came here michaelmyers24. You're 18, broke up with a lady, lost your job and you've gone into seclusion eh? That really does suck. I've been in pretty much the same space as you're in now......four decades ago......realistically, don't expect to feel better anytime soon, but tough it out, somehow. There IS a worthwhile life after the suffering passes. And after it passes, you're stronger for it.
 
jd7 said:
When I lost my first love, I didn't touch another girl for five years. Yep, it blows...
4.5 for me and I cried like a baby 6 years later when he married, because somewhere in my head I always thought he would come back for me lol. Yeah I can laugh now, but then… holy honeysuckle what a traumatic feeling.

It will pass, even though you don't feel that it will, this is what first love does when it dies, it hurts like a sickness of the soul.
 
Hi,
Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time. When did you split up with your girlfriend? It's ok and normal to be sad after a breakup and losing your job but definitely not ok to feel suicidal. You mentioned having some friends, perhaps you can reach out to them so you're not feeling so isolated and alone.
Welcome to the forum and I hope you stick around! :)

-Teresa
 
stork_error said:
because somewhere in my head I always thought he would come back for me

It makes perfect sense when you 'know' you belong together. Ahh...innocence.

Fortunately, we survive, we struggle, we pull through, we grow, we learn, and if we're super lucky, we find someone even better that totally puts things in perspective.
 
It's hard at your age with the lost love. I went through it myself (including the drinking and the suicidal thoughts). It may not seem like it, but it will get easier. The drinking doesn't help, it only dulls the sharp edges temporarily.

Try the meds and see if they can help. It sounds like you have some friends who care as well. Explain your struggles to them. You don't have to give them all the details if you're not comfortable with that (I know I wasn't), just that you're having a hard time with the breakup and that you could use their help with moving on.

Hang in there. There are some good people here who are great listeners and have some good advice from experience. Feel free to reach out.
 
awe im sorry buddy *hugs*
i can know how you feel its sucks
you know what? that was a shorta relationship time just of 3 months don't worry too much she can be yours still if your luck is good. don't break the hope its the best you can do right now except drink beer wait . wait for her. only she can make you feel better no one else can except she. its your life you know already you cant ve ok .doesn't mean she's not in pain shes in pain she dont wanna see your face again she already regret she wont. but if your a true lover than follow her try to talk try to watch her every footsteps make her feel your mad at her make her think your first love is true.
but i dont understand what happened? can you pm me?
 
Hey michael, I'm sorry you're going through this. :( *hugs*

Please don't punish yourself which you don't deserve. I know break ups are not easy, I've been through them myself. It's horribly painful and you often feel like there is no reason to move forward anymore. I've felt like this before. And over time, I learned something. That we should not base our happiness solely on love and based on other people around. Happiness and the will to live should be based on your own set of beliefs for yourself first and foremost, and after that if you wanna dedicate your life to someone else, it's up to you. But you yourself, always comes first.

Hope you'll get through this okay. Take care and good luck.
 
*sighs* 18 and feeling suicidal already.. PM me sometime.. i will tell u what i have gone through in my love life.. and i dont think i ever felt suicidal.. it only just made me walk stronger and be determined..
*hugs you* don't feel bad.. break ups are never easy.. Dont make it feel it is ur fault.. it never is anyones fault.. things just happen..
 
The first heartbreak is always the hardest, but you know what? The first love also serves as a teacher, that enables us to be better lovers to the next relationship, so hang in there, no reason to fret so much about it, i am sure that your next love will be better, it usually is. :)
 
Seeker_2.0 said:
The first heartbreak is always the hardest, but you know what? The first love also serves as a teacher, that enables us to be better lovers to the next relationship, so hang in there, no reason to fret so much about it, i am sure that your next love will be better, it usually is. :)

good advice here.
 
Losing your first love is tough man, your emotions go up and down like crazy, love, hate then it goes off into indifference. Believe me it gets there and you're ok with it, you accept it has happened and you go and do the things you really want to do with your life. In time you'll be thinking 'look how far I've come'. For me she left 4 years ago, I made a lot of mistakes after and the best thing to do is go out and make them and learn. You'll be ok man. I'm not gonna say life is just around the corner, or there are plenty of fish etc because no one on this board who is lonely wants to hear that crap. We're all here for you talk about it whatever the weather.
 
SofiasMami said:
Hi,
Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time. When did you split up with your girlfriend? It's ok and normal to be sad after a breakup and losing your job but definitely not ok to feel suicidal. You mentioned having some friends, perhaps you can reach out to them so you're not feeling so isolated and alone.
Welcome to the forum and I hope you stick around! :)

-Teresa

Hey, we broke up about a month ago :(


guys, she ended up treated me like honeysuckle towards the end. She always wanted to do what she wanted to and that was it. She never even gave me closure when we broke up and i tried everything to be a good boyfriend. She never talked to me about our relationship or anything and wasn't communicative with me.
 
Doesn't sound like too much of a loss, except maybe for your pride. A really important social skill is knowing the right person to go out with in the first place and experience is a good but harsh instructor in that department.

Consider this a learning experience.
 

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