Anyone on here been in a long distance relationship?

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There are quite a few people here that have started out as LDR and ended up moving in together or getting married. Some work and some don't. Honestly, I think it depends on your tolerance and patience. And, also, it's just like any other relationship, some work and some don't.
 
Sorry, I don't know why I always start a thread when I need to vent :/... The weird thing is I don't even know if I'm in one
 
chrish said:
Sorry, I don't know why I always start a thread when I need to vent :/... The weird thing is I don't even know if I'm in one

Well, it would be good to establish that.

I was in one, and it turned out badly. I know of others that have worked.
 
I have been. It worked out because neither of us want to bother with someone else.
 
I'm in a long distance relationship right now. We've been together for 2 years and really happy with one another. =)
We even met on here too. <3
 
I was in one a few years back. I don't want to get into details, but it was awful and it would take someone really special for me to try long-distance again.
 
family ,relation and region don't let work at all .some girl/man can do anything for their own love but some who don't .they feel uncomfortable leaving their country behind but if your luck is good it'll be nice for future. LDR always succesful ive been watching. cuz long distance teach each other patience and hope they follow the time and they get the gift when time come close.

some people play in background of internet. they cheat but some don't . if your in love always think positive.
 
I have been. Like what Callie said, it takes a lot of communication, patience and trust really. It's not easy, but just like any other physical relationship, it's similar, some work, some don't.

Seeker_2.0 said:
it would take someone really special for me to try long-distance again.

^And this really, for me.
 
Technically speaking, i've been in three. Realisticly speaking only one. They didn't work.
 
chrish said:
And has anyone made it work?
If so, how the hell?

I tried doing in in my early 20s, lasted over a year but it was miserable. I would never do that again unless it was very, very special and there was some time table where we would actually be together.
 
I was in three, none of which worked out in the end, though the last one, an on-again, off-again one, was the longest.

Each relationship had its own unique flaw which meant the relationship ultimately would have failed anyway, but the distance played different roles. Once you get past the logistics and aggravations brought along with it, distance also had a weird contradictory role, depending on which relationship was involved. Sometimes it served as a buffer, hiding the relationship's inherent flaws, which ended up keeping that relationship going longer than it should have rightly done so; other times it acted as a true obstacle, hiding who we really were from each other, for good or ill.
 
I never believed in LDRs, but I was convienced to try it once, fell in love, believed in it, made plans etc, but it went badly, partially due to distance, and due to not meeting the other person physically made me not see how it really was, overlook the flawss that she could easily not show until I had already fell for her. I dont think I'll ever try again, even if it's something really special, like she was.

But dont let me discourage anyone, I know people that made it, 2 of them lived in the 2 different sides of the world and actually moved in together and made it work, last time we spoke they were together for 3-4 years and happily married.
It can work, while my experience sucked, I believe it's just a bit harder than a sort-distance relationship, you need the right person, and distance just makes things a bit harder and more complicated sometimes, but if everything is set right, you can make it work.
 
I had a (sadly short lived) relationship which went from semi long distance to very long to back again, started dating and had to go spend a good month overseas and got a good taste of some things. When I got back we stayed about an hour and half away from each other. Broke up with her a month later because, yeugh, it just wasn't good. But anyway, best advice I have on the subject is:

For starters, a huge thing I noticed that came into play is trust and confidence, both in yourself and your partner, I spent a few sleepless nights just thinking about how I'll get a message from her breaking things up or if there might be someone else closer there she's having on the side or so. What I learned is that a LDR is definitely much better if you know the person for a long time already and feel close enough to not have those disapproving and conflicting feelings, also believing that you are worth the pains of such a relationship and so is the partner helps tons.

Another biggie for me was the big difference there is between how a person interacts through messaging and such, and face to face contact, to the point that it will feel like you're talking to two different people. Just something to keep in mind essentially before you dive in a relationship with someone you have never met in person, be sure to skype video chat a few times before going any further is my best advice :p

If you can, make time to meet each other whenever you can, long distance gets painfully lonely, especially when you walk around a mall and see couples being all lovey dovey and it sits there heavy in your heart that your love is somewhere far far away. If you guys can't meet up regularly enough (try every weekend if possible, every second weekend at worst imo) then its going to be hard, unbearably so. Also, be sure to have lots of free time, those long rides back and forth add up.

And yeah, communicate when you can and I found doing it daily really helped, but different strokes for different folks, some like to talk daily, some may appreciate a conversation every second day or so. All in all, you know the person best and you know what to do best, but when in doubt, message when you feel like it and hang back a bit if you feel the responses aren't good.
 
Did it, twice, horrible both times, wouldn't do it again… I guess if within a year one of the two doesn't move to be together there isn't a lot of future, unless they are both working for the Red Cross or they are antisocial surgeons and their are happy to meet only a few times a year
 
I've had two, plus a third that really doesn't count...

My first lasted the longest, but should have been terminated before 3 years time had gone by.
I did just about all of the traveling to see her, because she was in grad school, had no job, etc. She did come to visit me twice.
Red flags were noticed but I attributed most of them to stress from family pressure ( a lot) and grad school. It took her nearly twice as long to finally graduate. I ended things because of her wishy-washy nature and demands that left no room for compromise. i had no qualms about relocating to be with her, as long as we were a done deal. I was not going to spend $$$ to move across the country just to date. As it was, I went out to be with her around a dozen times, for long weekends and over holidays.
She was the same person I met first on line that she was in person. She is a super friendly, nice, considerate and caring girl. We looked great on paper, but in real life, we tried...just not in the cards.

My second LDR was more recent. I've mentioned and talked about this relationship in previous posts over the past year. She lived much closer, only a few hours drive away by car. This allowed me to visit for longer durations. I met her briefly years before; we reconnected online, and began daily contact shortly afterward. We didn't meet again face to face until 4 months later, so we had a great foundation. Only problem was, she was not who I thought she was. She was an expert at hiding and mirroring. I fell very hard for her. She wanted us to marry, for me to move in ....but it fell apart and I'm still struggling to pick up the pieces a year and half later. Being ultimately abandoned by her (even tried to be friends), recalling unfulfilled promises and her hidden activities make it so much more difficult to process and deal with.

The LDR that "doesn't count" seems more typical for most people on ALL - where you meet someone on line and only have a brief encounter, if at all
I hired her for some web design work; we became close very quickly, and she turned on the flirting charms right away. At the same time, she kept delaying a face to face meeting. She claimed to have removed her ex BF because he did not give her the em otional connection - I came along and she claimed I had what she was long missing. Still, she'd disappear, citing work and travel demands but would come back when she felt like it, always apologetic and full of hope for "us". Yeah, right. I had made up my mind to become involved with the former relationship (the girl close by) which, this long distance, never met her girl, absolutely broke her heart. She really pushed for a meet up after she found out I was interested in someone else. When my 2nd LDR crumbled, she again pushed for us to meet, then...nothing. for 5 months! I was really ticked off, then her supposed ex BF contacted me to say that they were engaged, but he broke it off because she had been "cheating" with me. He would not believe that her and I never met, let alone slept together. Well, things got really crazy after that. I finally met and witnessed a true sociopath at work. I'd never hit a girl / woman, but Oh, Lordy be, if I ever come across LDR girl #3 again, somebody....hold me back. I wanna whallop her via a swift punt in her a**.
 
Hey OP.

I have been in a long distance relationship when I was working in another state.

I can tell you right off the bat that mine did not last longer than four months.

Wump wump.

When you are busy working, and your significant other is busy working or going school, or studying in a program, ...let's say 500 to 1000 miles away from your town, then chances are, he or she may end up falling in love or finding some interest in another person.

HOWEVER, if you make efforts to visit your significant other every week, or once every two weeks, by flying out to his or her town, then there is a good chance that you can keep a strong long distance relationship.

I wish you the best of luck.

But just remember, it's not just Skyping or communicating by text messaging or phone calls. But also make the effort to visit your significant other in person.
 

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