does being single mean lonely?

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hey guys, i have posted a thread a few days ago explaining my situation, I started taking vitamins and jogging and overall i feel a bit better. I started talking to another girl and i have a date with her next weekend. I honestly feel more happy but deep down i still miss my ex and i have dreams about her and i cut down on the drinking.But when i do have a drink i start listening to sad music and start crying,Even tho she treated me like trash towards the end and we haven't been together or seen eachother that much. But before i met her i was still getting drunk, and all i could think about was being with somebody/ having a girlfriend. It's just weird because when i was with her i almost felt complete, like i always felt good. It's almost like i depended on her for my happiness. And i'm only 18 so i really don't know much. I don't even know myself, Do i sound like an unhappy person? Maybe my generalized anxiety disorder is effecting me as well but i really feel confused and lost. I feel a sinking feeling in my chest and i was the one who got dumped so that made me feel very low about myself. What do you guys think?
 
Hi,
I don't think being single always means being lonely. I'm single but don't always feel lonely, probably because of my daughter, co-workers and friends. People in unhappy marriages and relationships feel lonely too.
Also, this probably isn't 100% top-notch advice but when I was out in the dating scene, a friend once told me that the best way to get over a man is another man.

-Teresa
 
I think that it depends on the individual, both on who else they have in their lives (as Sofiamami has pointed out) and on their temperament. Some people are more self sufficient than others. I personally find being single very lonely.
 
I don't feel lonely. I feel lonely of female company. If that makes any sense.
I've had a week off work this week and spoken to almost nobody (My Dad, a few guys at golf, my Mam and that's it) - I haven't felt lonely.
At work it's talk, talk, talk, staff, managers and most of all customers. I enjoy it though, it's not a bind.

Honestly since I bought a computer and had access to the internet I haven't felt lonely.
 
Being single can be extremely liberating. You can go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone, date casually, anything you want, without having to answer to anyone but yourself. Getting into a relationship just to avoid being alone is like the worst thing you can do.

And a word of advice: never drink if you're in a bad mood. It just makes things worse.
 
michaelmyers24 said:
hey guys, i have posted a thread a few days ago explaining my situation, I started taking vitamins and jogging and overall i feel a bit better. I started talking to another girl and i have a date with her next weekend. I honestly feel more happy but deep down i still miss my ex and i have dreams about her and i cut down on the drinking.But when i do have a drink i start listening to sad music and start crying,Even tho she treated me like trash towards the end and we haven't been together or seen eachother that much. But before i met her i was still getting drunk, and all i could think about was being with somebody/ having a girlfriend. It's just weird because when i was with her i almost felt complete, like i always felt good. It's almost like i depended on her for my happiness. And i'm only 18 so i really don't know much. I don't even know myself, Do i sound like an unhappy person? Maybe my generalized anxiety disorder is effecting me as well but i really feel confused and lost. I feel a sinking feeling in my chest and i was the one who got dumped so that made me feel very low about myself. What do you guys think?


Okay I am going to tell you honestly.

Well, I do understand what you are saying , you said you still miss your ex and you dream about her so it seems to me from your post that you still have deep feelings for you ex, who knows but it seems that way. However you must not forget that now you like another girl and you have a date with her, so I can only hope that you can soon over these feelings that you have for your ex, because if you don't it will surely affect your future and suppose if your date goes well and if you both go in for a relationships and if these feelings for your ex are still in your head then how will you concentrate on your current relationships, you will make the other girl(current) that you say unhappy. Hence I hope you can sort this out(your feelings for ex) sooner rather than later. It will be good for you in the longer run, you have to let it go and free yourself.

I hope you have no hope of returning to your ex, right? because if you do have any such thing in mind then you need to tell the girl you like that you need some time and you don't want to date right now. Anyway I hope it's not like that?


michaelmyers24 said:
I honestly feel more happy but deep down i still miss my ex and i have dreams about her and i cut down on the drinking. It's almost like i depended on her for my happiness. And i'm only 18 so i really don't know much. I don't even know myself, Do i sound like an unhappy person?

Now looking at your post and your sentences, I don't really think you are unhappy as a person but yes to me you seems like you are not satisfied with your happiness, I mean you seem to be happy but for some reason you feel that's not enough for you, now there can be no limit to satisfaction, you can define your own limit for satisfaction. I would suggest you should try to be happy in any way you can and be satisfied with it, it's okay it's totally up to you what you want to do. It depends on your definition of happiness.Happiness is subjective.


To finally answer your title of your post " Does being single means lonely"?.

Now, the answer to this question is not easy and it's tricky as well. Again it depends, I would say. Being lonely doesn't mean being single, they are different, now you can be single but not lonely, I mean your relationship status can be single but still you can still have company, you can have friends, acquaintances,people to interact with so that way you are not lonely, so you can be single but not lonely also on the other hand you can be single as well as lonely, you may no friends, no acquaintances and you just live your life alone so yes you can also prefer it that way.It's up to person I would say.

Hence being single doesn't mean you are lonely because loneliness is not a choice whereas being single can be a choice and it's in your hands if you choose to be single or not but you can't actually choose to be lonely.


I am not sure this is be best reply, but logically that's what I can think off.
 
Sun35 said:
michaelmyers24 said:
hey guys, i have posted a thread a few days ago explaining my situation, I started taking vitamins and jogging and overall i feel a bit better. I started talking to another girl and i have a date with her next weekend. I honestly feel more happy but deep down i still miss my ex and i have dreams about her and i cut down on the drinking.But when i do have a drink i start listening to sad music and start crying,Even tho she treated me like trash towards the end and we haven't been together or seen eachother that much. But before i met her i was still getting drunk, and all i could think about was being with somebody/ having a girlfriend. It's just weird because when i was with her i almost felt complete, like i always felt good. It's almost like i depended on her for my happiness. And i'm only 18 so i really don't know much. I don't even know myself, Do i sound like an unhappy person? Maybe my generalized anxiety disorder is effecting me as well but i really feel confused and lost. I feel a sinking feeling in my chest and i was the one who got dumped so that made me feel very low about myself. What do you guys think?


Okay I am going to tell you honestly.

Well, I do understand what you are saying , you said you still miss your ex and you dream about her so it seems to me from your post that you still have deep feelings for you ex, who knows but it seems that way. However you must not forget that now you like another girl and you have a date with her, so I can only hope that you can soon over these feelings that you have for your ex, because if you don't it will surely affect your future and suppose if your date goes well and if you both go in for a relationships and if these feelings for your ex are still in your head then how will you concentrate on your current relationships, you will make the other girl(current) that you say unhappy. Hence I hope you can sort this out(your feelings for ex) sooner rather than later. It will be good for you in the longer run, you have to let it go and free yourself.

I hope you have no hope of returning to your ex, right? because if you do have any such thing in mind then you need to tell the girl you like that you need some time and you don't want to date right now. Anyway I hope it's not like that?


michaelmyers24 said:
I honestly feel more happy but deep down i still miss my ex and i have dreams about her and i cut down on the drinking. It's almost like i depended on her for my happiness. And i'm only 18 so i really don't know much. I don't even know myself, Do i sound like an unhappy person?

Now looking at your post and your sentences, I don't really think you are unhappy as a person but yes to me you seems like you are not satisfied with your happiness, I mean you seem to be happy but for some reason you feel that's not enough for you, now there can be no limit to satisfaction, you can define your own limit for satisfaction. I would suggest you should try to be happy in any way you can and be satisfied with it, it's okay it's totally up to you what you want to do. It depends on your definition of happiness.Happiness is subjective.


To finally answer your title of your post " Does being single means lonely"?.

Now, the answer to this question is not easy and it's tricky as well. Again it depends, I would say. Being lonely doesn't mean being single, they are different, now you can be single but not lonely, I mean your relationship status can be single but still you can still have company, you can have friends, acquaintances,people to interact with so that way you are not lonely, so you can be single but not lonely also on the other hand you can be single as well as lonely, you may no friends, no acquaintances and you just live your life alone so yes you can also prefer it that way.It's up to person I would say.

Hence being single doesn't mean you are lonely because loneliness is not a choice whereas being single can be a choice and it's in your hands if you choose to be single or not but you can't actually choose to be lonely.


I am not sure this is be best reply, but logically that's what I can think off.


Yeah, well either way my ex is done with me. She used me to make herself feel better, Then deleted me off facebook and everything. towards the end she started ignoring me alot, and our relationship was honestly mostly texting. I didn't see her that much but i got attached so easy. towards the end she started to ignore me and kept pretending everything was okay when i asked. After getting dumped it was very hurtful, she said all these things like im the best thing that ever happened to her and im the only thing in her life that makes her happy. Then for no reason she brushes me away like i was nothing, after me being so careing, fun and good to her. I just feel so weird..........
 

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