This woman wants sex from me but im gay , I hate life

I do not know where to begin. This situation is one that is a strange one because I expect the opinions to vary due to perspectives.

Basically, I have been living out of town for a few months now and I meet this girl. In short--she likes me and I could tell from the start she wanted my attention. How could I complain. I mean my circle of friends was low before but now that im out of town I know NO ONE. And after a few weeks of staying here I could not simply stay in another weekend and do nothing--well not when I have someone who is willing .

We went out once or twice and again the dates where good. Then we go out with her friends and they loved me.

Basically, I am gay and she wants sex from me--tonight. IDK what to do or to tell this women that I simply do not want to have sex with her. Period. She does not turn me on for obvious reasons and I know this is going to sound terrible but she really isn't that great looking in general. However, I do Love her personality and its been cool to actually have honeysuckle to do on the weekends besides lay in .

Just gonna be honest in that I haven't had much luck on either side of the fence as in I rarely if ever get out.

I don't know. One thing on my should is telling me to do it--be her boyfriend and see what comes of it. Just to check it off my bucket list.

The other is simply saying NO. Because well your gay and
A) Your not attached to her
B)Shes not attractive.

I feel bad because I can tell she is really into me and I take the blame for a lot of this. And no matter how I put it to her she will take it badly and be offended that I did not want to have sex with it her. I could possibly lose a friend. What to do!

You could be honest about all of this, tell her you're gay, apologize and explain you were lonely and appreciated her company. There doesn't seem to be any other option.

Trying to have sex with someone when there's no attraction... that could turn out to be even more embarrassing.

Singed said:

I don't know. One thing on my should is telling me to do it--be her boyfriend and see what comes of it. Just to check it off my bucket list.

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What an odd thing to say. Something strikes me as off about this post. The gay men I've known think with a woman is icky. You have this as a bucket list item.
But anyway.
How do you know she wants to have sex with you-tonight?
Tell her you're gay and get some new friends.

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Singed said:

I don't know. One thing on my should is telling me to do it--be her boyfriend and see what comes of it. Just to check it off my bucket list.

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What an odd thing to say. Something strikes me as off about this post. The gay men I've known think with a woman is icky. You have this as a bucket list item.
But anyway.
How do you know she wants to have sex with you-tonight?
Tell her you're gay and get some new friends.

-Teresa

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I don't find women icky--just not as interesting as the opposites.
And I know she wants to have sex--tonight because she basically said it herself. In fact she wanted to have sex last night.

Just to clarify, my post should actually say The gay men I've known think sex with a woman is icky.

-Teresa

You should have told her in the first place instead of going out on dates with her and leading her on. If you lose her as a friend then you'll just have to deal with that and learn from it.

Sci-Fi said:

You should have told her in the first place instead of going out on dates with her and leading her on. If you lose her as a friend then you'll just have to deal with that and learn from it.

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This.

I once dated a guy who I really liked and who was sweet and kind. It was after my divorce and I was feeling very vulnerable, needing perhaps to feel attractive as well. We had sex, once or twice.

And the guy turned out to be gay. His reasons for sleeping with me, in short, was that he wanted to be sure he was gay, he wanted to know what being with a woman was like.... and he didn't think I would mind.

Not only was I angry at his deception, I ended up feeling used, ugly and incredibly stupid for not realising. Like, what was wrong with me... Why would someone think it was OK, that I would be fine with it?

In short, it messed me up for a while. Then I just came see that he was a selfish *******. OK, he had a hard time coming to terms with his sexuality but did that give him a right to experiment on me?

The OP needs not to just think about himself, but about this woman, how she might feel about being lied to.

And then not pull a stunt like that again.

..

Sci-Fi said:

You should have told her in the first place instead of going out on dates with her and leading her on. If you lose her as a friend then you'll just have to deal with that and learn from it.

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Well, I think there's a bit of selfish element to it, in that he doesn't know many people and he wants to "tick this off".

Singed said:

Just gonna be honest in that I haven't had much luck on either side of the fence as in I rarely if ever get out.

I don't know. One thing on my should is telling me to do it--be her boyfriend and see what comes of it. Just to check it off my bucket list.

The other is simply saying NO. Because well your gay and
A) Your not attached to her
B)Shes not attractive.

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Best thing you can do is be honest about being gay and get that out of the way first and foremost. Then you can do what you want, i.e. you "may be" bi-curious.

jaguarundi said:

I once dated a guy who I really liked and who was sweet and kind. It was after my divorce and I was feeling very vulnerable, needing perhaps to feel attractive as well. We had sex, once or twice.

And the guy turned out to be gay. His reasons for sleeping with me, in short, was that he wanted to be sure he was gay, he wanted to know what being with a woman was like.... and he didn't think I would mind.

Not only was I angry at his deception, I ended up feeling used, ugly and incredibly stupid for not realising. Like, what was wrong with me... Why would someone think it was OK, that I would be fine with it?

In short, it messed me up for a while. Then I just came see that he was a selfish *******. OK, he had a hard time coming to terms with his sexuality but did that give him a right to experiment on me?

The OP needs not to just think about himself, but about this woman, how she might feel about being lied to.

And then not pull a stunt like that again.

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I whole-heartedly agree with this. I'm sure it wouldn't be a big deal to hang out with her as friends, but you should have been honest with her in the first place. Leading someone on is a not a kind thing to do. And I agree with Sci-Fi post as well, you might lose a friend out of this, but really, friends are honest with each other, so not sure how much of a friend she was in the first place.

ladyforsaken said:

Sci-Fi said:

You should have told her in the first place instead of going out on dates with her and leading her on. If you lose her as a friend then you'll just have to deal with that and learn from it.

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This.

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I agree with this as well.