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Haven't been coping well
I've been trying to keep it together, I go to the doctor and I visit with my therapist to talk about my feelings and both things have been helping. The last two months have been going horrible for me. Christmas was lonely as ever, my family didn't do anything. All we did was have carry out Chinese food and the most of the day I spent inside my bedroom feeling sad cause we were supposed to go to the movies but instead we didn't go. New Years was rough on me cause I didn't have anyone around me, I didn't drink. I actually gave up drinking and I have no friends to really hang out with. Than this month I've been constantly deleting people off of my Facebook and Skype cause people don't talk to me any longer. I guess we grew apart or something has changed, even including people who I met off of the Forum. They told me that they would always talk to me and keep in contact with me but they also have been ignoring me.

I've been avoiding Facebook all together cause it depresses me cause nobody sends me messages any longer. I'm so faithful to everyone but everyone around me always ends up disappearing. A few nights ago I was feeling really sad and I saw my father's pain pills and I took three of them cause I wanted to numb out the sadness that I've been feeling. I know it's stupid that I did that, but I just feel like I'm no longer cared about anymore. I visited my therapist this week and I told her about it and I told her how I'm still not completely over getting abused by my ex boyfriend. I feel like I'm almost over it, but I'm still angry about him abusing me. Feel horrible for not going to the police about him raping me but I feel like it's a little bit too late now. I'm actually scared to tell them all the details cause I don't want to go through the court proceedings. I'm glad I didn't have to go through it when my father sexually molested me but I won't go through this with my ex boyfriend. I rather have him out of my life for good and that's what I've gotten. I'm sorry for all the ranting away, but I'm not in a good place right now and I needed to get this all of my chest. Sad
You should go to the police. There is no statute of limitations on rape. He should be in prison.
^ I agree with him, you should see the police dear. *hugs* Sad

I'm so sorry that you have been feeling this way, there's nothing wrong feeling this way and you shouldn't be numbing your feelings. I want to think that the feelings are there for reason to make you heal slowly. And healing happens when you try to accept the feelings and work with them. Numbing doesn't do anything good for you, since you have to work with the feelings someday anyway, they will come back even after ''numbing''. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but it's completely natural to you feel the way you are feeling right now. It will get better and you can go through this, I believe in you. <3 It's NEVER too late to go to a police, he/she is there only for helping you and that is what you need right now. He needs the punishment for hurting you, it only hurts you more when prolonging it. Please take care, okey? You can always talk to me if needed.
^ I agree with these two. Getting this guy behind bars will at least give that issue some closure, which might help a bit.

Also, I apologize if this accidentally sounds rude, but by ignoring, do you mean you send them messages and they don't reply, or that they never seem to start any conversations?

There are about 3 people who've posted. I'm sure we care that you make it through this tough time. You're still loved.
Sorry you're feeling this way dear. I hope it gets better soon. Hang in there. *BIG hugs*
I am known as a walrus, but at the same time, it's tea time, so naturally, a fiddle is really a shoe in disguise as a pear.
I PM'ed you, just so you know.

(02-02-2015, 08:41 AM)Mr Seal The Albatros Wrote: Also, I apologize if this accidentally sounds rude, but by ignoring, do you mean you send them messages and they don't reply, or that they never seem to start any conversations?

I have the same question. I feel the same way sometimes, but really they aren't ignoring me.
I understand your not wanting to go to the police, and you are right not to if you don't feel strong enough. You might find however that doing so and getting what happened to you put in the light makes you feel more empowered, and lessen your anger.

Its good that you are seeing a therapist and I hope you are discussing the rape with her/him. However you might want to try The Rape Crisis Centre where there are people who specialise in this area and can help and support and really understand you, whatever you decide to do about it.

It can be a hard thing to get over all by yourself, so give them a call and have a chat. You may find its a lot better than Facebook or being alone in your bedroom.

In the U.S. ..National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE
might be a starting place for you or look up a local rape crisis centre.
[Image: 11c5jja.jpg]
"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds
cannot change anything". - George Bernard Shaw
(02-02-2015, 07:52 AM)Amthorn Wrote: You should go to the police. There is no statute of limitations on rape. He should be in prison.

Actually there is.

Wallflower, you always seemed like a nice sweet person who doesn't deserve to let those past cretins get you down. It can be really hard to get over traumatic things in your past, but do you want to live with it keeping you down or show you can rise above it. It seems like you want to do the latter but are just having trouble getting there. If Facebook is adding to your problems you can temporarily delete it then reactivate it when you feel ready to go back. Seems like you are trying to get rid of the negative in your life, just need to find some positive and focus on that more.
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

[Image: p5XQ_g.gif]
I think it would empower you to go to the police and report his sorry ass. i know you don't want to, I know that it will feel like a lot of work and too much to hash over again...but it could make you feel stronger, knowing that you have a voice and people hear you. By reporting him and making it known that you aboslutly do have power and control over your own feelings can prove a lot not only to him, and those that you feel have been ignoring you, but to yourself, which is the MOST important.

I know this is a hard situation to be in, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, it couldn't have been easy. Do what you feel is best for you and take good care. (hug)

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss
WallflowerGirl do you live at your parents' home? I'm sensing from the context of your post that you do. At your age, in your 30's, maybe finding a place of your own would be a good start at turning things around for yourself. If it's doable from a logistics perspective.
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.


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