Hi all,
Sorry for the long post, I hope you will be willing to read it.
Maybe first I will describe my problems: I am a self-conscious, shy and introverted person, with a low self-regard/confidence struggling with interpersonal relations especially at a "middle level". By this I mean relations with acquaintances and also colleagues that are in the middle between the neighbour I only say hello to and the closest friends parts of the spectrum. I particularly struggle with maintaining eye contact and look on the floor when speaking to people. My problems are moderate so not too severe but still hold me back in life and do not allow self-fulfillment.
I am looking for your help with finding a tried and tested book or a CD which would help me with each of these problems in turn (as you can see from my opening sentence there are many sub-problems). I am happy as an introvert but need to learn how to relate to people better. I have heard of e.g. books which show how to be happy as an introvert in an extroverted world but don't know which one is a particularly appealing one (not trying to overly describe introvertism and its problems or change it but teach how to cope with relations).
I am open to any methods that would help including NLP, using imagination etc. I have a degree in psychology therefore would have no problem with looking into books/manuals for psychotherapists where the authors teach how to approach clients and how to help them (essentially the book for the other side of the therapeutic relationship which can be very useful). I am also open to even a book of techniques to use (e.g. when speaking to a person focus your attention on them and not on yourself/your body etc.) or non-cheesy (aka deeper) list of topics that people would appreciate talking about and how to relate to people more generally. Non-cheesy affirmations about the self-image I am hoping for would also be appreciated.
It doesn't have to be one book/CD it will probably be many or even only chapters of books might be useful for specific issues but I am looking for publications that helped deep and thoughtful people.
If possible I would like the books to be:
-targeted and in-depth (each of the problems mentioned) -it's all linked but still they might have a focus
-evidence-based (in what they recommend) -for credibility
-with evidence presented (i.e. research has shown that ppl who ... enjoy more of ... / the brain can not see the difference between sensation and vivid imagination of the same sensation therefore ...)
-from a credible author who is either a practitioner with experience or been there done that
-explain the potential mechanisms behind: it works by / when you imagine in vivid colours it is more powerful because you engage more neurons etc.
-book with CD for techniques if possible, if it is to be a CD alone not to be cheesy or overly hyper-enthusiastic but authentic and not New Age but pure psychology
-not cheesy but meaningful
-some additional books may be highly contextual e.g. focusing on work/relationship etc.
Off course if some books meet only some of the criteria or are best for say evidence/understanding please still mention it. If there is more than one good book per topic (I hope it will be) you can order them in a list.
Sorry for the long post and a long list of things to consider but if you have experience with/of my problems and are knowledgeable I am hoping you would be able to point me in the direction of the solutions to my problems.
Kindest regards,
Laura
Sorry for the long post, I hope you will be willing to read it.
Maybe first I will describe my problems: I am a self-conscious, shy and introverted person, with a low self-regard/confidence struggling with interpersonal relations especially at a "middle level". By this I mean relations with acquaintances and also colleagues that are in the middle between the neighbour I only say hello to and the closest friends parts of the spectrum. I particularly struggle with maintaining eye contact and look on the floor when speaking to people. My problems are moderate so not too severe but still hold me back in life and do not allow self-fulfillment.
I am looking for your help with finding a tried and tested book or a CD which would help me with each of these problems in turn (as you can see from my opening sentence there are many sub-problems). I am happy as an introvert but need to learn how to relate to people better. I have heard of e.g. books which show how to be happy as an introvert in an extroverted world but don't know which one is a particularly appealing one (not trying to overly describe introvertism and its problems or change it but teach how to cope with relations).
I am open to any methods that would help including NLP, using imagination etc. I have a degree in psychology therefore would have no problem with looking into books/manuals for psychotherapists where the authors teach how to approach clients and how to help them (essentially the book for the other side of the therapeutic relationship which can be very useful). I am also open to even a book of techniques to use (e.g. when speaking to a person focus your attention on them and not on yourself/your body etc.) or non-cheesy (aka deeper) list of topics that people would appreciate talking about and how to relate to people more generally. Non-cheesy affirmations about the self-image I am hoping for would also be appreciated.
It doesn't have to be one book/CD it will probably be many or even only chapters of books might be useful for specific issues but I am looking for publications that helped deep and thoughtful people.
If possible I would like the books to be:
-targeted and in-depth (each of the problems mentioned) -it's all linked but still they might have a focus
-evidence-based (in what they recommend) -for credibility
-with evidence presented (i.e. research has shown that ppl who ... enjoy more of ... / the brain can not see the difference between sensation and vivid imagination of the same sensation therefore ...)
-from a credible author who is either a practitioner with experience or been there done that
-explain the potential mechanisms behind: it works by / when you imagine in vivid colours it is more powerful because you engage more neurons etc.
-book with CD for techniques if possible, if it is to be a CD alone not to be cheesy or overly hyper-enthusiastic but authentic and not New Age but pure psychology
-not cheesy but meaningful
-some additional books may be highly contextual e.g. focusing on work/relationship etc.
Off course if some books meet only some of the criteria or are best for say evidence/understanding please still mention it. If there is more than one good book per topic (I hope it will be) you can order them in a list.
Sorry for the long post and a long list of things to consider but if you have experience with/of my problems and are knowledgeable I am hoping you would be able to point me in the direction of the solutions to my problems.
Kindest regards,
Laura
