How to stop comparing yourself to others.

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Batman

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Just curious if any of you had tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others. Clearly, it's unhealthy, but it's certainly a hard habit to kick. :p
 
Just don't. When you find yourself doing it stop and try to put your mind onto something else more productive. It can take a lot of time to do it especially when you have those kinds of days that get you down. You're not that other person, so comparing yourself to them is like comparing an apple to an orange. Similar in ways but completely two different things. We're all human beings with our own faults and positives but we are also individuals different from one another.
 
Just remember, no matter how great someone else might seem, they are suffering too in their own way. You might be miserable, but the grass is always greener, as they say, and someone else might be more miserable and just better at hiding it. Have some compassion for yourself, count your blessings, and be the best you that you can be.
 
I agree totally with what's already been said. Often it's a mindset that you have to try and actively stop as it can become a bit of a habit. Comparing yourself with others isn't usually weighed up fairly anyhow. We are often very critical of ourselves and judge our lives and selves based a lot on our internal thinking and perceptions (which can be warped through negative thinking and mental illness) whilst judging other people on a superficial level based on how they project themselves. A lot can be covered up than we cannot see, and vice versa people don't see us in the ways we judge ourselves. So it's not really a helpful or informative way to look at things a lot of the time.
 
I believe the only way to stop doing this, is to get a solid and healthy sense of self-worth.
 
The question you need to ask yourself is WHY you are comparing yourself to others. Do you want to be them? Do you think their life is so much better than yours? Do you want to be them, instead of yourself?

Everyone, at one time or another has compared, I think it's unavoidable. What you need to remember is that, even if you know them well, you don't know everything. I don't believe anyone's life is perfect, there are always problems that you may not know or see. Comparing yourself to someone else is a waste of time, because chances are that you are comparing a delusion, what YOU see about them, not necessarily what's real.
You are who you are. Change what you don't like that you can and own who you are because you are unique and that's a good thing. It makes you an individual human being and regardless of how you feel about yourself or the negative things people may say about you, it makes you worth knowing, it makes you valuable.
 
Try to be as dispassionate as you can about other people, maybe? If you can do that, it's only a matter of time until you learn to disengage with whatever emotions that are driving you to make comparisons with them.

It worked for me, but it's one solution to a problem that has many, many other solutions.
 
Wearing someone else shoes not gonna work, either they will be too big or too small. wear the ones you have and walk casually. What you need to do is self evaluation. Find the positive things about you and try to boost them more and as for few flaws. I will say who doesn't have flaw in them, No body in this world is perfect. We try to be one though. Work on your flaws to make them less. Seek help from friends If you have. Or have a long and productive talk with anyone close to you. Try to find those qualities inside of you If you can't find it yourself.

In short, Be the one you are. Don't try to live the life of others. You have your own identity in this world, everyone has one. Just be you. That's all I can say.
 
I've posted something similar to this with my Ventilator syndrome post.. I'm a bit confused now. If someone says to you 'Thank yourself lucky, you could've had it much worse', does that mean that they are invalidating stuff you say when you tell them you're feeling a bit down?
 
what makes me want to never tell another soul on the internet my problems again is that they always come back with oh me too. Making what i say trivial. When people say I can relate to things i am sure their heart is in the right place but what they are actuially saying is stop being such a pussy because i have been threw that as well.
 
johnny196775Again said:
what makes me want to never tell another soul on the internet my problems again is that they always come back with oh me too. Making what i say trivial. When people say I can relate to things i am sure their heart is in the right place but what they are actuially saying is stop being such a pussy because i have been threw that as well.

Don't stop telling people on the internet how you really feel, if we can't post on here or talk to each other, then what else is left!! You're right that those people may have not been through the same problems as you, but it's all relative. What if THEY HAVE been through the same or worse as you - you just never know!! I know it feels like platitudes, but you can't expect them to prove how miserable they are when they're trying to make you feel better. We have to take things at face value sometimes. If they don't offer you any useful advice then THATS when i'd start to feel annoyed. But I can relate to what you've said :) and I don't think you should stop being such a pussy :)
 
Instead of comparing yourself to others, you should write down things that you like about yourself. Looking at yourself in a positive frame of mind is good. :)
 

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