Feel like it again

I feel like cutting again. All these scars on my body though, ****, what more is there to do? Attempting has crossed my mind.

These realizations, that are like a knife twisting into your body. And you have to fight with a dog for your food and water, but the dog wins... and pees all over you, the mut. And it is when I realize that I am lower than the mut, that the mut has what I want, I don't know how. Lower than the mut covered in his piss.

I am really sorry that you are feeling they way you do.
Why do you feel like cutting again? Are you depressed, angry, confused or some other feeling? Is there any other way you could handle your thoughts and feelings? Maybe you could come back here and tell us more, and then you would maybe feel better enough not to cut yourself after venting and after getting support from us.
I have cut myself in the past and at the time it felt like the only way to cope with my feelings, but it really wasn't the best way to have coped.

lilE said:

I feel like cutting again. All these scars on my body though, ****, what more is there to do? Attempting has crossed my mind.

These realizations, that are like a knife twisting into your body. And you have to fight with a dog for your food and water, but the dog wins... and pees all over you, the mut. And it is when I realize that I am lower than the mut, that the mut has what I want, I don't know how. Lower than the mut covered in his piss.

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Just don't do it. Let the feeling pass. Breathe. Go for a walk. Do something nice for yourself.

Yea, I wrote about it in detail here http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=33823

Thought I'd start a new thread about it since I am getting at the source and it is pretty long.

I agree with Amthorn. Resist the lure that cutting has for you, and resist the thoughts about attempting.

Do something in the positive direction rather than in the self destructive direction.

Coming back here and putting into words what the source is, is definitely in the positive direction. I'll be looking in to see what you've got to say.

I'm so sorry you had and still have to go through that but hurting yourself, you are just letting the bully's win, don't give them that satisfaction... Continue to fight and show them you are not one to be broken. Join activities that interest you... I also think boxing would be something good, it will help relieve aggression and pain.

cutting is an addiction, like drugs and overeating… I would bet my money that you have good reasons to feel like that again, it's not just out of the blue, please concentrate on the reasons that make you feel like that, that can help you feel the f*&%^ pain and don't run to try and stop it in the best way you know, because you also know that is not the best way.
Easier said than done, isn't it?! Struggling myself with analogue problems, so please I don't want to tell you that it's easy, at ALL, but remember that most things in life that might be your problem have a solution, only cutting has no solution unless you refrain from doing it and focus on the real problem. That bloody impulse, cutting, is a cover up for all the rest, it's a distraction maneuver, don't let it distract you.
Maybe you want to share these problems here, where someone can listen?
Hope you feel better tomorrow…

Peaches said:

cutting is an addiction, like drugs and overeating… I would bet my money that you have good reasons to feel like that again, it's not just out of the blue, please concentrate on the reasons that make you feel like that, that can help you feel the f*&%^ pain and don't run to try and stop it in the best way you know, because you also know that is not the best way.
Easier said than done, isn't it?! Struggling myself with analogue problems, so please I don't want to tell you that it's easy, at ALL, but remember that most things in life that might be your problem have a solution, only cutting has no solution unless you refrain from doing it and focus on the real problem. That bloody impulse, cutting, is a cover up for all the rest, it's a distraction maneuver, don't let it distract you.
Maybe you want to share these problems here, where someone can listen?
Hope you feel better tomorrow…

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Pretty much.

Once started again, stopping becomes much harder. Like breaking down a dam. You're far safer without than with no matter how friendly and alluring it seems.

I do it because everyone sees me as a piece of honeysuckle, a worthless, hideous loser. And I must be since everyone agrees on it. I want to to make myself look on the outside as I feel in the inside.

That's not right this is coming from me I don't kill myself for my family. I have five people in my whole life. I mean it. Two being my future kids, which I know I'll have...

Um you will be fine I hope, you gotta breathe and think outside of the box you matter. You matter!