What do your parents think of your loneliness?

What do they think regarding your friendless/dateless/loveless life?

The whole family is weird.

My sister recently moved to a farm in the middle of nowhere. So far she has chickens for eggs and for eating, and several farm cats. One brother is severely visually impaired and tends to stay in his apartment. The other brother is highly successful but spends most of his time either with his wife and kids or on hobby projects. Both of my parents only have busy social lives because of their spouses, and neither of them dated much (or at all) before meeting each other.

I strive my best not to let on that I am lonely. I think mom used to know, but, I'm getting to the point in my life where friendship isn't that important to people anymore. Once you get out of college, people no longer care (not that they ever really cared very much in the first place) and get partners and then they completely ignore you. So I've given up on the friendship scene since it seems as if most people don't take friendship seriously due to how society is constructed. In youth, friendship is more important than it is after college, in which it gets put on the backburner…far….on the backburner.

Of course, I take my friendships with people from ALL seriously. They're an exception.

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Tealeaf said:

The whole family is weird.

My sister recently moved to a farm in the middle of nowhere. So far she has chickens for eggs and for eating, and several farm cats. One brother is severely visually impaired and tends to stay in his apartment. The other brother is highly successful but spends most of his time either with his wife and kids or on hobby projects. Both of my parents only have busy social lives because of their spouses, and neither of them dated much (or at all) before meeting each other.

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I guess you consider them socially stunted? But, if they are all happy I'd think that'd be all that matters, right?

I can see though where you may feel as if they didn't teach you social skills by their lack of modeling them.

SophiaGrace said:

I guess you consider them socially stunted? But, if they are all happy I'd think that'd be all that matters, right?

I can see though where you may feel as if they didn't teach you social skills by their lack of modeling them.

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I never stated any of those things.

Tealeaf said:

SophiaGrace said:

I guess you consider them socially stunted? But, if they are all happy I'd think that'd be all that matters, right?

I can see though where you may feel as if they didn't teach you social skills by their lack of modeling them.

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I never stated any of those things.

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Okay, if you disagree with what I said, I retract them. Sorry for assuming things.

My dad and my mama are from an older generation where you really didnt talk about things much. Pretty much my interaction with my dad when he was still alive was yes sir no sir kinda deal and my moms got her own issues so we never really talked much. They knew i had issues but theyre from that camp where you just swallow your problems and as they say in the army drive on. I dont know man its a weird thing with my parents. I love them both but never had much of a relationship with them to know much of what they think about anything honestly.

I think my mama just thinks im some kinda weirdo, which is fine by me, i just let her deal with it however she wants. But i mean she has to realize theres something up with me im on disability for this crap so..........but as with everything that involves people and especially family for me, who the HELL really knows lol?

My parents actually don’t give a f*ck and I’m not speaking in a way as if they’re thinking: “Ah, you’ll meet people eventually, don’t worry about it ” I’m meaning more like: “Well! So much for this one, you can play with fire and knives now ”

I know they feel that way because I remember they would force me out of my room whenever we had a family meeting or celebrating a holiday, now they just allow me to stay in my room all the time, I’m not angry with them though; dateless 24-year-olds are considered weird anyway and I don't want people to see me like a rare specimen.

They've come to accept my solitary attitude to some degree. They tended to be worried because I was depressed years ago and spend so much time alone by myself then.

It's different now and I hope they get that eventually. And as long as I still give them regular calls and visits these days, they shouldn't mind either.

I'd have to consult a medium to ask Dad what he thinks. But my mother, hateful woman, she couldn't give a toss. She lives in Old Delhi, India.

Well,my parents are old now, and don't have friends.
I don't have any friend. They know it but just don't say anything about it.
They don't bother me with that. But they push me to go on vacation (I always stay at home with them). They say: go somewhere, visit a country![/align]

My parents don't even notice.

My Mam is disappointed. The few girls I have gone out with, when they find someone else, my Mam has always been upset.

My Dad says I'm best off without a woman in my life because they are trouble. I tend to agree with him.

Triple Bogey said:

My Mam is disappointed. The few girls I have gone out with, when they find someone else, my Mam has always been upset.

My Dad says I'm best off without a woman in my life because they are trouble. I tend to agree with him.

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Well, those are some oddly polar opposite views from the people who had you. How are your parents doing today?

My parents gave up on me finding love a long time ago. They have no advise on how to find it so they just don't bring the subject up.

My mother brought me up telling me how difficult men were, how they were only after one thing, and how horrible my father was.

My father told me he never wanted me, that I was fat\ugly\useless and a drain on his finances.

They didn't like either of my long term partners and my mother in particular hated my first..

Ultimately both in their time told me I was a failure ..in not keeping these relationships....

You have to laugh, you really do!

jaguarundi said:

My mother brought me up telling me how difficult men were, how they were only after one thing, and how horrible my father was.

My father told me he never wanted me, that I was fat\ugly\useless and a drain on his finances.

They didn't like either of my long term partners and my mother in particular hated my first..

Ultimately both in their time told me I was a failure ..in not keeping these relationships....

You have to laugh, you really do!

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=(

*hug*

AnonymousMe said:

jaguarundi said:

My mother brought me up telling me how difficult men were, how they were only after one thing, and how horrible my father was.

My father told me he never wanted me, that I was fat\ugly\useless and a drain on his finances.

They didn't like either of my long term partners and my mother in particular hated my first..

Ultimately both in their time told me I was a failure ..in not keeping these relationships....

You have to laugh, you really do!

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=(

*hug*

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Thanks, sweetie !

Honestly, these days I mostly do laugh. I just wish I had learned to do it years ago. As the poet famously says, 'They fresia you up, your mum and dad..." Etc

They don't really talk to me about it, but I know they're concerned about me, maybe even disappointed. Thinking back, my dad actually used to ask me if I was depressed, since I hardly ever went out of the house. During the last couple of years I have been trying to get fit by running, biking, and hiking, so that has helped them and me in a way. As far as relationships, by now they probably think I'm gay lol, even though I'm not.

AnonymousMe said:

Triple Bogey said:

My Mam is disappointed. The few girls I have gone out with, when they find someone else, my Mam has always been upset.

My Dad says I'm best off without a woman in my life because they are trouble. I tend to agree with him.

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Well, those are some oddly polar opposite views from the people who had you. How are your parents doing today?

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they divorced in 1987

In some rather selfish ways, I actually blamed my parents for my loneliness.

My loneliness really started at school where I was badly bullied but my Dad came from the old school of thought that being bullied was "character building" and mum was very reluctant to stand up to him. They wanted me to stand up to the bullies but I was never brave enough because I never had the comfort of anyone having my back (friends, teachers, parents, even the police when I called them to save me from being assaulted and they sent a policeman to shout at me for calling them) So it was never sorted and I ended up a weak shadow of the kid I could of been.

I then had a stroke, which taught me everything I needed to know about survival, and from then on I lived as independently as I could and nothing fazed me anymore. I'm a lot stronger now, and I can now see my parents for who they are - I think my Dad actually has autism but there was no such thing back in his day, and mum was very afraid to upset him so went along with his outbursts despite secretly disagreeing.

I didn't really admit to them about being lonely but I guess if I did then it would have been seen as a failure on my part, but after my stroke I didn't care what they thought of me, which I think in a funny way they actually respected.