Body confidence issues

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AspiringCatLady

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Hi was just wondering if anyone else on here had issues with body confidence? I have what I would class as a disfigurement to my body which has seriously eroded my self esteem. As a person I think i'm a good reliable fun person, but when it comes to the body i'm stuck in, I feel very trapped by it. Does anyone feel the same? It definitely holds me back..
 
AspiringCatLady said:
Hi was just wondering if anyone else on here had issues with body confidence? I have what I would class as a disfigurement to my body which has seriously eroded my self esteem. As a person I think i'm a good reliable fun person, but when it comes to the body i'm stuck in, I feel very trapped by it. Does anyone feel the same? It definitely holds me back..

I hate everything about how I look. My face, facial expressions. My body shape is very odd. And yes it effects my confidence. Almost to the point were I want to hide away from people.
 
Been there. Still there, at times, really. I don't see myself the way others see me, but I know that how I perceive myself is not in any way how others do. I've learned to accept that, even if I do hate the way I look sometimes.

So yeah, you're not alone.
 
What sort of impact has it had on your relationships (if any). Does it affect your day to day life? For me personally I refuse to buy certain clothes until i've lost weight, I have major weight battles but never seem to be able to lose it, and along with my disfigurement I feel like a bit of a freak really!!
 
I had a mastectomy 20 years ago and I also have a misted lens on my glasses, and although in the normal run of things I don't think about these issues much, if I were starting a new relationship, they would be very much on my mind. Also think I must be starting to look my age as people have started offering me their seat on the bus or train.
 
^ Tiina, that sounds awful, I remember the year when everyone in shops started calling me "ma'am", great shock :(

had an accident around age 14 that left scars on my chest, I thought I was a monster out of a horror movie, then I could get them fixed surgically and felt better again - then I want to share a weird thing: all my life I thought I was ugly, not in a distant way, but with a vengeance, feeling a cringe any time I thought about my appearance - it did have a lot of impact on my relationships, I always accepted really scary guys with a sense of deep gratitude, as they were so humanitarian to like *me* (in hindsight, I must have sounded crazy as a loon, and that's why normal guys would run away).
Then some years ago because of problems with breathing I looked into rhinoplasty, and I got the operation not just for the breathing problems but also to change the nose's appearance (I remember saying to the mirror on the morning of my 37th birthday: I will not spend another 37 years with you (the nose)) . No one can say it's a great job, it's pinched, looks weird, turns on one side, it hurts when the weather changes, but on the other hand I never had that cringe feeling again, it was like all my self hate was concentrated on my nose (and I breathe much better!). I wish now that I had the nerve to get it done when I was twenty…
Not happy about my weight now (that is also easier to fix) , but the disgust is gone, maybe that is also with age and maturity but it really all disappeared after the nose job.
Not supporting plastic surgery obsession here, but sometimes one needs a little make over, also non surgical, to feel good with oneself.
 
hell yes ... fat balding and hairy... arent I a catch

the reality is probably just about any person you might ask if they had body confidence issues will answer yes about something
the other reality is we are also our own worse critics ... little things that we dont like about ourselves are not deal breakers for others
Try not to be so hard on yourself people
 
I used to be a bit on the chubby side when I was younger. Nothing serious though it was clearly visible during summer. I often thought about it when I looked into the mirror but since nobody ever gave a **** about it and I never received any comments either, I could live with it more or less.

I feel better now that I lost all that extra weight. Looking a little malnourished and worn these days but I prefer it that way for my own sake.

My family always gives me compliments on my looks but who can take these serious? Surely I received positive feedback on here as well but...I never asked to be even remotely handsome. What use is it to a recluse like me anyway?
 
Yeah ive always hated the way i look. Its probably a leading cause of the reason im the way i am. Ive never been the type that i wanted to look like a male model but i would like to look "normal" so i didnt feel like a monster all the time. When i was 27 i was drinking on my birthday and i ended up busting up my face really bad and now ive got seven metal plates in my face as well as they had to completely repair my jaw since it was broken in 3 spots, broke both eyesockets, my nose for a third time, knocked out two front teeth. So yeah i know a thing or two about bad body image lol.

As ive gotten older though i finally TRULY realized that those people who judge me solely based on my looks are wastes of skin themselves and have no depth and not people i want to know anyway. Bad thing is despite being on this side of the fence the one being judged all these years i find myself doing it to other people before i realize it and it makes me ashamed of myself and sick to my stomach. What i mean is its built into our DNA to seek after people who look a certain way because that shows theyre healthy and would provide good offspring. Dont mean to turn it into a documentary but thats been scientifically proven.

So yeah im an ugly guy for the most part but my thing is i dont really even care anymore, because im not gonna be on this earth forever, i managed to get married and have kids and im not perfect but neither is anybody else and people who judge like that are pretty one dimensional if they take it to extremes were they wouldnt even talk to you give you a chance etc. Screw those silly ass people, who needs them.
 
I don't mind myself when I look in the mirror. I look okay.
But it's when I see myself in a photograph or accidently see myself in a window reflection - I see this really ugly person.
I took a few photo's today while I was at the coast. In every one I was pulling a really stupid face. I quickly deleted them.
I wonder whether that's what's up. I pull faces. I have no idea I am doing it. People have mentioned it a few times. And of course I get 'miserable' comments all the time.
I wonder if there is some kind of medical condition I could have ?
 
I thought I was hideous for many many years. I was just drunk. People will look at you like you are hideous if you are drunk all of the time. That is if you bother to even notice.
 
I'm quite deleicate in build though strong from having worked out in gym, but have always been painfully aware of my slight frame. To remedy that, about 4 years ago when in France I took a liking to French clothes. French clothes are stylish and noticeable, and I came to love them so much that I am no longer so desperately self-consciousness.
 
I have some scarring. Several each side on my chest and underarms from operations to reinflate my collapsed lungs, and an enormous scar across the top of my head from a craniotomy to clip the bleeds in my brain. None of which are particularly attractive as they were all done in an emergency so there was no time to keep it neat.

I think stuff you can't change, such as scars, moles, birthmarks etc are part of who you are. Mostly we can lose a bit of weight if we need to, but we shouldn't make ourselves miserable over it - our lives are short and every day is precious. Spending time doing what you love doing is more important than trying to alter our appearance to suit others. Easier said than done I know, but that's how I feel.
 
I've had issues with body image in the past, especially as a teenager, and it was one of the reasons I self-harmed at that time. I just didn't want to be me. Ultimately though we are our own worst critics and very few people would judge us in the such harsh terms we judge ourselves. Coupled with that I doubt we'd treat another person like we do ourselves and somehow reason that it is okay for us to do so.

Physical appearance is also something that people acclimatise to fairly quickly as well and most people move beyond the superficial and look at your personality traits instead.

Change the things you can and accept what you can't. Be kind to yourself as you would someone else.
 
I could change my disfigurement if I had surgery, which I might consider in the future if I have any spare cash. Until then i'll just have to learn to live with it I guess! At least i'm fortunate that no one gets to see me with my clothes off! ;-)
 

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