Head Hung in Shame, Here to Tell You Not To Break No Contact Rule

Such a fool I am. I want to cringe into a hole and pull it closed behind me. I can not. I will be of service to the community and share my pain so that others can learn from my mistake.

Cliff Notes
Five year relationship
4 years living together
She has a ring but would not allow us to set a date
I am dumpee...going on five months
Had reconcillary three weeks with travel, visiting her family, sexual relations and every thing else.
She slammed on brakes a month ago.
Email Contact but no visual

So I vow no contact and she emails me pretty quickly. She dangles going to see 50 shades of grey with her? Dullard that I am...I jump at it and say when..this weekend..great..

well part of me knew this was going to be happen so I had the buffer in place. Oh I can not this weekend...(the hurdles that would have been overcome before are just to great for me to do so now)...how about next weekend?

I am once again the fallback in case she does not have plans...no change

I am probably the only one hurting..

Ladies and Gentleman, I implore you that if you go no contact..see it through..

Look at me and remember...

Yup. Remember this and don't do it again!

I posted this somewhere before but here it is again.
Bodybuilding.com No Contact Thread 2
Stay strong.

kamya said:

Yup. Remember this and don't do it again!

I posted this somewhere before but here it is again.
Bodybuilding.com No Contact Thread 2
Stay strong.

Click to expand...

Quite agree with you.

to her my heart was a game at the end. I did not let go of the years with the ease she did.

Grow up, get tough, and accept.

I know where your coming from, my ex says she has to force herself to move on because we could not be together, we still talk now and then, just gets to me that she is finding life without me so good, Surly I couldn't have been that bad , makes it worse is that I still love her, and the only reason we split was that I had to make a choice in a long distance relationship of, go see her and become homeless or loose her and not, it just wasn't enough that I was trying to make things work, I told her as soon as things were better I will just come visit, whatever happens, I accept that she will be dating but God it hurts that I now mean that little to her after I gave her everything I had in me.. Still she treats me nice when she needs someone to fall back on, fuckin doormat that I am

I'm sorry you're hurting over this. I knwo you and i have talked about this in chat. I don't fault you in anyway. NO contact is so hard to keep, Like I told you....i fell for my ex's antics for 3 years before I was too tired of being hurt all the time.

You can do this... I KNOW its not easy...I KNOW you want to belive that her mind is suddenly going to change and everything is going to be the same again. Trust your gut, think before you act, if you want to write or call her...come here and make a post about what you would want to say instead of contacting her.... and rememeber, you are doing nothing wrong. This is SO HARD. You have us to lean on...keep reaching out.

(((((HUGS))))))

The most pain we do is upon ourselves. At least being alone, I can see peace. It would take a while but I would get there.

This casual contact with the ex is maddening. I loathe myself...I am exhausted and raw emotionally and for what....

maybe a crumb from the table.....

I am such a dupe....

What is the no contact rule?

blackdot said:

What is the no contact rule?

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The part where one no longer talks or sees or has any contact with an ex.

VanillaCreme said:

blackdot said:

What is the no contact rule?

Click to expand...

The part where one no longer talks or sees or has any contact with an ex.

Click to expand...

It's function is to help the person move on or get over the hurt that person caused.

VanillaCreme said:

blackdot said:

What is the no contact rule?

Click to expand...

The part where one no longer talks or sees or has any contact with an ex.

Click to expand...

ahhh.. I was thinking it was some rule where you were not able to touch someone.

I tried the no contact thing with the 1 person I once "dated". It led to her killing herself. If I had stayed in contact though, I would have killed myself. It was a lose/lose decision.

blackdot said:

VanillaCreme said:

blackdot said:

What is the no contact rule?

Click to expand...

The part where one no longer talks or sees or has any contact with an ex.

Click to expand...

ahhh.. I was thinking it was some rule where you were not able to touch someone.

I tried the no contact thing with the 1 person I once "dated". It led to her killing herself. If I had stayed in contact though, I would have killed myself. It was a lose/lose decision.

Click to expand...

I had someone threaten to do that if I stopped talking to them. I called the counseling center to say I needed help dealing with it, and they said do not talk to them. It was so hard.

I'm no expert by any means, but chances are, if they threaten that, they have the desire to do it anyway. There's better ways of dealing with someone saying they don't want to talk to you anymore, and it's not automatically death.

I've been sticking to the no contact rule for 4 years now. After he cheated and broke up our family for someone half his age, I found that even getting a text from him was too painful. So I changed my number, deleted him from all social media (and most of his family too). It was easier after a while but I never got over it. I still have his brother on facebook because he was also my boss and I need the reference. Now its changed from grief, hurt and heartache to anger and wishing karma would hurry up and do her thing. I still think of him and what he did every day. I'm not sure I will ever get past that.

nibbysaurus said:

I've been sticking to the no contact rule for 4 years now. After he cheated and broke up our family for someone half his age, I found that even getting a text from him was too painful. So I changed my number, deleted him from all social media (and most of his family too). It was easier after a while but I never got over it. I still have his brother on facebook because he was also my boss and I need the reference. Now its changed from grief, hurt and heartache to anger and wishing karma would hurry up and do her thing. I still think of him and what he did every day. I'm not sure I will ever get past that.

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(Hug)