Tips on how to do day to day tasks when depressed.

I thought this might be a handy thread if people add their tips on coping with having to deal with life and having depression in different magnitudes. I can struggle with getting out of bed I have things to do everyday, if I don't want my life to implode which is in part a motivator in its self. However that doesn't make dragging my body out of bed and moving easier. Same with if I sit on the settee at any time. Moving again when I am at my lowest is monumental.

Please share any tips you have.

One I am looking for is the amount I want to sleep, I can't but my body wants to.

A tip once you are moving around at home. Say you have loads to do and it feels overwhelming, write down what is necessary to do that day and reward yourself with a cup of coffee or something maybe not food :/. Then look at the list and try and prioritise it or choose the easiest or quickest task.

I hope people share.

Setting my atmosphere after coffee and breakfast usually helps.
Adjust the lights, put some sort of a scent you like in the air, maybe incense or candles or air freshener, some music on that you like, and mentally prepare yourself for what you have to do while focusing on finishing your tasks. Coffee is a huge help to me, one because I like the taste of it, two because I'm often quite sleep deprived, which is the biggest emotional downkicker next to not having enough nutrients in you.

The first step to accomplishing a large list is to accept the fact that you cannot do it at all at one time.

So you have to break it down and do a little of it each day. Which, is much more tiring, but much more likely to be fulfilling and less exhausting because you can get more things done than just that list of things you made to do since you're only doing a little of it at a time. You could then, say, go hang out with your friends or take the drive to the store that you wanted to take instead.

Often times to pry myself out of bed, I have to shift my mind onto something in focus that I give more of a **** about than the list of things I've got to do. It's the WHY I'm doing them that I have to focus on, not the how. The how, I've already figured out. It's the WHY that's the deeper question.

I have to motivate myself out of demotivation, which is one Hell of a sonofabitch to do. Sigh....in the immortal words of my grandmother: "The dishes aren't going to do themselves..." Streaming loud music throughout the house while you do chores also makes the chores go by faster and more entertaining.

The other things you have to look at are what it is that's impeding you from following through....

Is it just your feelings and thoughts?
Is it a substance abuse problem?
Is it a social interaction problem?
Is it a family problem?

You have to find out what it is that's detouring you, and then act in opposition thereof that problem. If your thoughts and feelings are the problem, use your list of things to do and an atmosphere as a distraction. Try falling into being productive and motivated doing them (you can start anywhere, with just one thing, really) than letting your mind wonder to much (I've done this, so I know what it's like). If you're drinking a lot, or on drugs, put it down for a bit, be responsible and take care of your life for a while. These things are taxing to the mind and body, and life often demands a person's sobriety to fix up loose ends from time spent in intoxication. If it's a social interaction problem, confront the person, be honest, calm, and forward. The weight of it off your conscience will greatly ease your mind and you'll be able to focus better. If it's a family problem, remember that no matter what choices you make or how little of a relationship that you have that your family will always love and accept you. As my mother says: "Blood is thicker than water." There is no problem or no lifestyle that a family cannot learn to oversee in the name of love for one another.

It's all about being in your atmosphere and thinking things through, clearly, rationally, and accepting reality as it is and then formulating a conceptual plan to improve the situation.

Using a to do list works for me. It's normally as simple as: wash the dishes, sweep the floors, water the plants, buy groceries etc.

After completion I'll reward myself with something and as mentioned above preferably not food. The tasks have to be achievable though. No use, drawing up a list that is too long. But, it also helps if you're not too hard on yourself. Uncompleted items just stand over till the next day.

I think the intention of this thread is great, but I am so beyond this point. A list and cup of coffee isn't going to do it.

She-ra said:

I thought this might be a handy thread if people add their tips on coping with having to deal with life and having depression in different magnitudes. I can struggle with getting out of bed I have things to do everyday, if I don't want my life to implode which is in part a motivator in its self. However that doesn't make dragging my body out of bed and moving easier. Same with if I sit on the settee at any time. Moving again when I am at my lowest is monumental.

Please share any tips you have.

One I am looking for is the amount I want to sleep, I can't but my body wants to.

A tip once you are moving around at home. Say you have loads to do and it feels overwhelming, write down what is necessary to do that day and reward yourself with a cup of coffee or something maybe not food :/. Then look at the list and try and prioritise it or choose the easiest or quickest task.

I hope people share.

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^ Hugs. Without being insensitive or prying. What gets you out of bed everyday, if you are? What motivates what you do manage to do?

This may sound heartless or cruel or whatever, but here's my tip. It works wonders, it really does.

TheRealCallie said:

This may sound heartless or cruel or whatever, but here's my tip. It works wonders, it really does.

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Not heartless at all...though it's unlikely to work for people that really hit rock bottom which is always subjective of course. But there have been plenty of days in my life where I could only tell myself to "get it over with" or to "just f**king do it". And once you're done, you usually feel better even if it was one massive drag beforehand.

Not much, mostly work.

I'm sorry, Exasperated. I hear ya, Depression is horrible. Loneliness, depression and anxiety feed off one another, losing hope is the worst part. I always say, I'd be better if I wasn't alone in the boat. I've lost hope, that's what happened to me and that has made evrything harder still. I get up cuz I have animals, all that keeps me here, I've taken in strays for many years so most all of my kids are old, a couple that can't see well and need extra food to keep weight on, and an old cat 21. But sleep is my only friends and even then sometimes the mind still can't shut off everything from the subconscious. I understand your struggle as I have it every single day. There's a songs by the great South African band, Just Jinger called, Today Again. It reminds me of how many struggle everyday in this world. I hope you can find the strength to do better and luck shines on you. Take care of yourself, Todd

As far as what helps to get stuff done, ya have always heard the baby steps line, but even that can be hard when so down with this illness. Even getting up and making sure you eat. Fixing somethings too much effort most of the time. Thank heaven for frozen pizza (haha).

One thing, for those that may live out of the city (I live 20 miles from a town) or have terrible trouble with anxiety when they do go out (like I do), I finally realized that I could get some stuff by ordering online from Walmart. Stuff like dog and cat food, some kinds of food, snacks,and so forth. At least it takes some of the pressure off of having to make it out to the store. And shipping is free over 50 bucks. Hope this is of some help to someone here.

I hear you too. I can relate to the shutting off thing. I feel that I've just checked out of life at this point. I think my mind just can't handle the hurt anymore and is shutting of as a defensive mechanism. I've been so hurt and abandoned by people time and time again. My entire I've just been chasing after people trying to get them to love or care about me and no one has. The thing is I want people. I'm not introverted in that way. I just want meaningful relationships. But all I've every had was hurtful ones. The hope has killed me at this point. I always believed things would get better for me, that I deserved and would find someone that cared about me. I still believe I deserved that, but it's not going to happen.

It sucks because you feel so bad already and then you shut down and that feels worse. I just don't have the motivation anymore. I could die in my apartment and no one would know for weeks. I feel like what is the point? I know, love yourself and blah, blah, blah. I do like myself, I actually think I'm pretty awesome, but that's not enough. I need people, we all do.

exasperated said:

I hear you too. I can relate to the shutting off thing. I feel that I've just checked out of life at this point. I think my mind just can't handle the hurt anymore and is shutting of as a defensive mechanism. I've been so hurt and abandoned by people time and time again. My entire I've just been chasing after people trying to get them to love or care about me and no one has. The thing is I want people. I'm not introverted in that way. I just want meaningful relationships. But all I've every had was hurtful ones. The hope has killed me at this point. I always believed things would get better for me, that I deserved and would find someone that cared about me. I still believe I deserved that, but it's not going to happen.

It sucks because you feel so bad already and then you shut down and that feels worse. I just don't have the motivation anymore. I could die in my apartment and no one would know for weeks. I feel like what is the point? I know, love yourself and blah, blah, blah. I do like myself, I actually think I'm pretty awesome, but that's not enough. I need people, we all do.

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You are telling much of my own story and I'm sure others on here too. People need people, at least one other person that cares, loves ya anyway ( as I put it, knowing your faults and how ya are wired). The only ones that haven't done me wrong are my animals. I think people that are very kind, giving types with a lot of empathy for others are often easily taken advantage of in this life. Then add that ya also have a history of getting used and dumped and the result is one that is very sensitive to the common thoughtless and discourteous behavior of people today.

The bad thing is one can lose hope, feel different inside about it all because of hurt and things not getting better, but the mind and the memory is the enemy, keeping the wounds fresh. I just went outside to get the mail and I don't know, but sometimes just that makes me think of so much as I look around, and I cry. Then ya feel like more of a pathetic mess for being so unable to control emotions. Not moving forward and seeing positive changes keeps one stuck in neutral. Ya can't put it in reverse for a do over and ya can't get go forward no matter how much effort you put forth to. Spend years of this and it wears ya down, both emotionally and physically. It not as if people like us have not tried again and again to regroup or want to feel this way, no one in their right mind would want to walk the tightrope of depression everyday. I just feel tired now but the emotions and memory are not comatose, I wish it were. I would rather numb than a peeled nerve. If I won lotto, I'd move from this place I hate so much and give most away cuz I care little about material stuff and always wanted to do more to help those in need, but starting over again, trying to find someone and feeling there was a new chapter, I feel it's too late for that now. It would take a miracle and I don't see that happening for me.

I'm sure you have friends on here, but I would gladly keep in touch as a buddy to make sure you are OK. I think that's helpful and necessary to people without anyone. Being alone 24/7 all the time can drive ya nuts too. If ya don't work and are out, not even meaningless chit chat about the weather or news or something. I only have a couple people I could call and since neither really cares, why chase people like that. Might as well sit and do a monologue.

I have more hope for others than myself, and I'm hoping things turn around completely for you. Sorry if I kinda got off topic of the thread with my long winded reply.

Thanks, when I first came here I asked if there might be people willing to check in on me. Most days I have trouble with basic things like eating and sleeping.

I cry, repeat 30 times the list of the things I should/would like to do (including: wash face, cook simple food etc), cry some more, do a part of that list, feel slightly better afterwards, then a thought or an image I see trigger the crying again, repeat.
But the basic thing is to have someone outside, to feel the support of someone, that becomes the foundation of all my struggling will. When the support is taken back, everything crumbles, I crumble, then I keep trying.
And, as TC00 says, I try to keep my mind in check and give it mental whack every time it starts thinking about the things that upset me.

Two of my classmates died in the last couple of weeks. I just found out about the second one and I realized how sad it is that they are dead and I'm alive. They had families, friends, people who loved them, people who have to suffer grief now. If I died it would impact no one. I'm really the one that should be dead, it really should have been me instead.

Exasperated,

It sucks that you feel that way, but I know what you mean. I often feel guilty when I hear about somebody who dies who has a lot going on for them in life and who has tons of loving family and friends. I look at their life and I look at mine, and I wonder why I'm still here and they're gone.

You and I both know that it's not a good idea to feel that way, though, right? If you died, it would impact people, you just don't realize it. Even if it's just one person on this board you're impacting, it still makes a difference. I know I'M glad you joined this forum; I finally started posting here again after I gave up on it 3 years ago. I saw your posts and felt like we had some things in common, and, hopefully, I can have someone to discuss things with like books and movies and life in general. You've even inspired me to start listening to NPR on a regular basis and keep my brain from turning completely to mush at work, LOL. And I'm sure there are other lonely people on this site who feel the same way about you.

I hope you're doing OK.

Exasperated, It would impact people on this forum. You do have people on here that care. But I know what you mean too.

Does the weather make a difference at all as far as how you feel and how well you do in a day? Maybe strange to some, but I'm at my worst on sunny very nice days. I suppose that's because I think of people that are doing stuff, doesn't have to be big plans, but people that have that companionship and are outside on a nice day enjoying the weather and each others company. I think of years gone by and what's lost. So I especially hate trying to get to the store on those kinds of days.

As much a I dislike people who do not try, I think I could go the other way a little. I'm not a quitter by nature, I will keep at something forever and hold out hope. I've never given up on finding friends even though it has never worked out for me. I have reached out in all kinds of ways, started and lead groups trying to cultivate something. Even on this board I tried to start threads, find like minded people. I'm constantly trying and things don't work out. I think it's time to give up. I guess my only hope at this point is that some acceptance will come and dull the pain of the rest of my life I have to get through. I hope it hurries and will be done with. The truth simply is that some of us will just always be alone.

exasperated said:

As much a I dislike people who do not try, I think I could go the other way a little. I'm not a quitter by nature, I will keep at something forever and hold out hope. I've never given up on finding friends even though it has never worked out for me. I have reached out in all kinds of ways, started and lead groups trying to cultivate something. Even on this board I tried to start threads, find like minded people. I'm constantly trying and things don't work out. I think it's time to give up. I guess my only hope at this point is that some acceptance will come and dull the pain of the rest of my life I have to get through. I hope it hurries and will be done with. The truth simply is that some of us will just always be alone.

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You've been here less than a month. Keep in mind that quite a few here have difficulty talking to others. It's your choice what you do, but I don't really think you've given it enough of a chance.

It is definitely NOT true that some people will always be alone....that is, unless they want to be and/or don't do what needs done to change it.