Lost my job; lost my love....

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Lonesome2

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My boyfriend lived with me for several years, on my tab (he paid no rent). So much for love. We both lost our jobs at the same time, while working on the same IT contract that was terminated. Due to piss poor management. He found a job and basically walked away, abandoning me. I'm now on the verge of being homeless, worring about how will I ever get a job, if eventually I don't have a phone and internet.

Please share your thoughts, and experiences. I'm hurting, pissed, and depressed.
 
He is a fair weather person, happy to hang around while the going is good and when he can sponge off you, but not wanting to be there when things are hard.
Do you have any family or friends you could lodge with until you get back on your feet? If not, is there any official help you could claim to help you with the rent on your present place or on a cheaper place until you find another job?
 
Tiina63 said:
He is a fair weather person, happy to hang around while the going is good and when he can sponge off you, but not wanting to be there when things are hard.
Do you have any family or friends you could lodge with until you get back on your feet? If not, is there any official help you could claim to help you with the rent on your present place or on a cheaper place until you find another job?

Hi Tina63,

I appreciate your reply...no unfortunately, I don't have and friends and family, no safety nets. Just me. I'm afraid to reach out for help as, I did in the past. And it turned out to be a really bad experience for me. So, I'm in a very vulnerable and percarious situation. I'm living rent free, right now. But this place is a dive. No heat, no AC, and there is mold because of years with no HVAC. I'm really embarrassed. As they say you get what you pay for. I am productively searching for work as I am depending on my two degrees, and 5+ years experience in my field.

I am hanging on by a prayer, and I feel confident that I will land something soon. I'm saying that today, because I'm having a good day. But on the not so good days, I go into total despair thinking how close I am to being homeless.
 
Hi Lonesome2-I empathise deeply with your having no one to rely on as I am in the same situation. It is very hard to know that no one has your back, that there is no safety net to catch you.
I hope that a job comes along soon. At least you have good qualifications and plenty of experience. But it is nerve wracking when there is no certainty about anything. Let us know how things go. And pm me any time you need to vent.
 
The market is getting better for IT, I am IT myself and have been in a similar situation where I had to support my wife as well.

Which region are you in? Would you be willing to move?

Hang on and don't despair, meanwhile Big hug to you.
 
Can you expand your search for a job by doing complimentary work like web design? which country are you in? maybe someone here would have a lead for you.
 
SeaBee said:
The market is getting better for IT, I am IT myself and have been in a similar situation where I had to support my wife as well.

Which region are you in? Would you be willing to move?

Hang on and don't despair, meanwhile Big hug to you.

Hello SeaBee,

I'm in Virginia, I've been contracting in this area for over 10 years now. The industry is extremely over saturated. I would love to relocate in a heartbeat, but it's just not an option if I have to float the expense right now. I would love to be able to go towards DC, but it's a two hour commute from where I am. I can only manage to swing an hour's commute. After that I would need to relcate. So, that is my situation for the moment. Thanks for asking. :)
 
Wow, I feel so bad for you, Lonesome2. How awful for your BF to just bail on you. It just enrages me when I hear of people out and out abandoning a partner. I know too, as I've been abandoned myself.I know you have feelings invested which makes it extremely difficult to deal with, let alone having to worry about where you will be on your own. Please keep us posted.

IT jobs are so competitive. i have a friend who can only land contract jobs, ones that can last for two weeks or as long as 6 months. He has interviewed at least two dozen times for different permanent IT positions, and often gets called back for a 2nd and 3rd interview - only to be told they hired someone else. I don't know how he deals with the frustration and rejections.
 
dax said:
Can you expand your search for a job by doing complimentary work like web design? which country are you in? maybe someone here would have a lead for you.

Thanks for your response. I'm in the USA. I've been in IT for a while. My strengths are in Windows Server/Active Directory/MS Exchange. I also have some experience with Networks and Network security. Also knowledgable in A+ (hardware and Windows OS) so I can do desktop support also. Web design is not my strength.

With two degrees and some certs. I'm hoping to get something soon.

My resume is getting a lot of hits, and attention. I am Linked In too, but most empoyers and other inquiries are asking for virtualization on top of the skills I have and because I don't have virtualization and cloud computing experience to speak of. The time is going by fast, it's been 8 months that I've been out of work. I'm feeling stuck. Spending 16 hours a day revising my resume' eveytime I talk to another recruiter. You would think having a varied backgroud of skills and experience would make my job searching easier, but in fact it is so insaine. The effort is truely sapping my energy.

I looked into going back to school, for to obtain a 3rd degree in Cloud computing. But, I just can't do it right now. I'm considering aquiring more certifications. At this point. I just recertiified in January to update my Network+ plus and I feel that these employers don't give a **** about my certifications.

Where are you?


ABrokenMan said:
Wow, I feel so bad for you, Lonesome2. How awful for your BF to just bail on you. It just enrages me when I hear of people out and out abandoning a partner. I know too, as I've been abandoned myself.I know you have feelings invested which makes it extremely difficult to deal with, let alone having to worry about where you will be on your own. Please keep us posted.

IT jobs are so competitive. i have a friend who can only land contract jobs, ones that can last for two weeks or as long as 6 months. He has interviewed at least two dozen times for different permanent IT positions, and often gets called back for a 2nd and 3rd interview - only to be told they hired someone else. I don't know how he deals with the frustration and rejections.

The experiene of being abandoned as you know is a horrible experience. Until it happened to me, I thought it was something that happened to unwanted pets. Not human beings.

Because you've also been abandoned as you mentioned. By default, I know you are a nice person. Things like this only happen to people like us.

You're friend's IT experience sounds much similar to mine. I've been in IT for approximately 10 years now going from contract to contract. Once I got my 2nd degree in CS. I made a snap decision to do contract work thinking that I would gain plenty of experience to build my resume. Looking back in retrospect, it a terrible decision on my part. Currently as it stands, no matter how I sell my resume as an IT contractor identifying that my previous positions were contract (temporary position). These recrutiers and highering managers are looking at my experience as a job hopper. Causing me not to get highered, and then they complain about the gaps in employment.

Go fig.
 
Lonesome2, I am from Virginia as well and in DC area. If you want maybe I could PM you some of the recruiters I have in my Linked in. I am a software designer and data analyst and you seems more Network oriented but my recruiter might, at least, raise the probability you find something. Let me know and feel free to PM. Wishes you the very best :)
 
Lonesome2, I'm sure sorry to hear about the bad times you are having now. You have very marketable skills, degrees and experience, I'm sure you will get something soon. It's tough especially alone. Being alone in the boat makes everything worse. Being dumped is just awful, many of us can relate to that. Try not to let your frustration and feelings show. Keep your confidence up, you will get some solid bites very soon. Take care of yourself.
 
BeyondShy said:
I wish you nothing but the best.

Thanks BeyondShy,

Back at ya. :)


tc00 said:
Lonesome2, I'm sure sorry to hear about the bad times you are having now. You have very marketable skills, degrees and experience, I'm sure you will get something soon. It's tough especially alone. Being alone in the boat makes everything worse. Being dumped is just awful, many of us can relate to that. Try not to let your frustration and feelings show. Keep your confidence up, you will get some solid bites very soon. Take care of yourself.

Thanks for your kind words of wisdom, and encouragement.
 
I am in the USA, ironically taking classes in web design. Hoping to build a portfolio once I learn and go from there. I am so sorry your bf bailed on you. I can't imagine doing that to someone you are suppose to care about and whom helped you. I do hope you get something soon. Maybe SeaBee can help you?
 

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