i was having dinner with friends last night and they started talk about sex and their relationships. i was the only one among them that wasn't currently involved with someone, that has never been in a relationship. i have only fooled around with one guy. i never know what to do; it just makes me further depressed, especially when i'm so hung up on that guy i fooled around with (i know i'm a complete sucker for falling for the first guy who has ever wanted to touch me).
i was reading this self help book last night. its about overcoming anxiety and depression. the author talks about flirting as a way to battle shyness and eventually loneliness. my actual therapist wants me to try to date, as a way to become more social and to get over this guy. i really can't, no one wanted to date me before this and no one wants that from me now. i would just disgust people, no one wants to think of me like that, even i know i'm gross. if i did meet anyone i was interested in, i would just daydream about them, knowing nothing would actually happen.
i just feel that i'll always sit silent while my friends talk about their boyfriends, sex lives and how wonderful it all is. i mean i fell really lucky to have friends now but sometimes i just wish i got to have more. i know i should just stop being jealous.
i was reading this self help book last night. its about overcoming anxiety and depression. the author talks about flirting as a way to battle shyness and eventually loneliness. my actual therapist wants me to try to date, as a way to become more social and to get over this guy. i really can't, no one wanted to date me before this and no one wants that from me now. i would just disgust people, no one wants to think of me like that, even i know i'm gross. if i did meet anyone i was interested in, i would just daydream about them, knowing nothing would actually happen.
i just feel that i'll always sit silent while my friends talk about their boyfriends, sex lives and how wonderful it all is. i mean i fell really lucky to have friends now but sometimes i just wish i got to have more. i know i should just stop being jealous.