Deciding to end a friendship

I officially ended a friendship today that was negative for me. I had a falling out with this person years ago, held on, and now I realized we're just not good fits for each other. We're both negative -- she had no trouble complaining about me but didn't like me complaining about her.

Right after, I contacted some friends that had moved out of state and asked if they would be visiting again. They told me they would in a few months. I'm actually okay, because these people enjoy being with me. I'm not afraid to say I miss them and they said they missed me.

I wish I had friends like these close to where I am, but I'm really grateful to have this to look forward to. I really hope the future is brighter, because it's been really tough being single and dealing with aging relatives and an ill mom.

I hope things work out better for you edamame,it's difficult letting go of someone if you're so close but maybe it's for the best and what you needed. If you live with nothing but negativity it will bring you down and it's great that you have managed to find some good friends wherever they live. I know it's not always easy but is there any chance of meeting people near to where you live,like some kind of clubs/classes you can join so that you can meet people nearer to where you live? or maybe a Carer's support group (not sure if you have them where you are) but they tend to have groups for people who are also looking after relatives.

I agree with Serephina. It can be very hard to let a friend go, but sometimes it can be liberating as well and makes us look towards other, better friends, as you have done with your out of state friends. And Serephina's idea of going out locally is a good one as well-now you know what sort of people you don't fit with, you will also have a better idea of the sort of people you do want in your life. Good luck.

If someone is giving you more negative and than positive feelings, it's better to let go. It hurts, it's painful and even gives you few tears but it's better than feeling hurt. Best of luck to you! *hugs*

Even if you don't make new friends, you've done yourself a service by ending this friendship. Sometimes it really just isn't worth the effort of keeping a friendship going.

I also recently ended a friendship that dragged on a few years too many and while I also only have a few friends left I totally agree on the fact that friendship needs to have a certain quality to it to be enjoyable. If that quality is missing we are better off without it because negativity that isnt there cant drag you down neither.

I'm glad to see you managed to stand up for yourself. I have trouble doing this too in friendships or relations with people, especially when it gets very negative or toxic. Always require a little push so I think it's great you managed it on your own.

Good luck, edamame.

I think it's good that you let go of this friend, especially if they were negative. I've had some friends that were negative too and I had to let them go cause they simply weren't good for me. You did the right thing.

I'm glad you were able to be firm and decide to end the friendship. Some people can be venal and drag us down with their toxic negativity. We need to take steps back and look after ourselves. In time I am sure, someone with a different, more refreshing aspect will come along and they will be much better for you.

I decided to end a friendship today actually. We had known each other since 2003 to be honest shes still stuck in the teenage mindset since then. I admitted I done wrong in the past to her but she can't take responsibility for anything she has done. Which is immature. She has had years to do so. So, I decided to end it. We used to be great but now she brings me down. Shes wrapped up in her useless boyfriend and unable to take responsibility for 2 years when she disappeared after finding him amongst other things.

I now have like 2 friends but I'd rather two useful ones and I feel liberated! So, it can be tough friend but hand on in there

You already know it's worse to have bad friends than no friends at all. Pretty much every adult knows that intellectually. Getting over the emotional barrier of becoming totally alone is another thing, and can make people hang on to bad friendships far longer than we rationally would.

But someone being negative doesn't necessarily make them a bad friend. A negative person's actions can still be kind, helpful and supportive. People don't like to hear unpleasant things said, and this can lead to the fallacious inference that the person who says them is bad. It's totally a fallacy. Some of the best people on earth are negative simply because the experience of their lives has made them that way, but they haven't lost their human kindness, and their actions show it.

Those sort of negative actions described by edamame721 sound harmful to me. If they are negative towards things you do, and don't listen to what you have to say back well..

Everyone can have some degree of kindness but negativity directed towards someone on purpose constantly doesn't make a friendship work, IMO

I can deal with negativity. That doesn't have to affect me. But what I really can't stand is someone who just doesn't care to listen. That I can't work around.

You did the right thing, I also ended some friendships recently.