Past Near Death Experience and sadly afterwards the same crap is still happening

I'm trying really hard not to shut down.....Sometimes when I'm at the college I'm sooo stressed about my studies I literally start yawning and falling asleep . This time I know it's because of my boyfriends family.


We fit each other soo perfectly that I dont want his family in my life and I literally want to move away. But my boyfriend said it wouldn't work.


I literally know our relationship wont last but I'm trying really hard for him to stand up to his family. But everyday they chip away a piece of me that I can never get back without alot of self work.


I'm very lonely....i'm scared to even eat sometimes . Back in 2012 I literally had a near death experience... I was sent out of my body like a vacuum into this black space then I saw a flash a vision then a white flash then a white tunnel.....I saw what I assume an Angel with no wings behind a mist like cloud that was all white.... It didn't talk but it somehow said to me like in telepathic saying in wasn't my time. I was sent back into my body like a vacuum like force ... I gasp for air and then I was pale sweating but overcame it. His family was present during that event.



sadly my life since then went on with the same depressing hatred against me.



How do I stop shutting down and learn how to cope with his family???
Since my NDE because due to health issues I was born with I also question myself. Since god knows my difficulty why would he bring me back it's soo depressing because nothing but bad things happen to me. I try to cope with thinking " maybe he wanted me to do something." but I cant do much of anything due to my learning disability .....I feel like god is sometimes punishing me .



( surreal event :::::btw.... 2 weeks ago I dreamt of coming out of my old biology class in high school and started chasing a butterfly down the hallway then the hallway gradually started disappearing . Everything turned white and asked me " Are you happy" ...A loving presence surrounded me and said " you are loved completely" " are you happy now? " I responded " Yes I'm happy now..." then I woke up into this hell hole. I was like noooooo......:club: This is a horrible prank from a religious perspective.

It sounds like you have a purpose in life because of the experiences you've had in life. Perhaps your purpose is to help others. I don't know what your learning disability is but you can obviously use a computer, so perhaps you could try to help people on forums. Is there a way you could see your boyfriend without having to be involved with his family? Your purpose might not be clear yet but you could try different things until you find what's right. You could help people, animals or the environment. Although, suffering is bad it can sometimes make us more understanding of others' suffering and we can learn things when we go through torment. Try to make the best of things. I was very depressed the other day and it was unbearable but I came up with the idea of doing 20 things at that time to feel better. It doesn't have to be anything too much, just simple things. I did things like have a drink of water, did a puzzle, had a nap. I found it worked for me. I didn't even need to do 20 things as I found my mood improved after doing just a few things.

I know how you feel. It is very important for you to stop. The depression will not end of its own accord. Your near death experience was a wake up call. I had one recently with the most high. I was deeply depressed for 5 years since Mary broke my heart. The only way to reach that point is to feel guilty enough to reprove yourself.

Depression is very bad. Not only does it waste ones life away, it makes you susceptible to dark forces of which in these days there are many. You are wasting away your life trapped in negative feelings. Learn to care about your own salvation, consider what will happen after death. I'm sorry, but nothing is ever going to get better. You are very lucky to be alive. As am I. I hope you will find the strength to be positive and happy again.

You've been thrust into the "same crap" because it's the same crap that you still have to deal with. Who knows, your near death experience could have been to make you realise your value in life, and to teach you to assert yourself with others. I know, it's horrible to feel hated. You've just got to weigh up your options and decide what to do. If you don't get on with your boyfriend's parents, yet you love him, would you be happier with him, and with their crap, or without him and without their crap? What does your heart say? What would hurt less? There are some tough decisions to be made, but they are necessary. People can get depressed when they literally feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and they are paralysed by indecision.

Of course God wants you to do something with your life. You were born, right? So believe it!

What your post clearly shows to me (I'm no expert, just sharing my perspective) is that you just want to be loved, and you don't feel loved enough from outside sources in your life (your boyfriend's family, maybe?). I don't know how spiritual you are (I'm Christian myself) but if you believe that dream is significant, it may well be. It isn't a horrible religious prank, that's for sure! My take is: You are loved by God, he showed it to you through the dream, now you have to start believing that as well as starting to love yourself... and that is done through action, through assertiveness, through being a voice for yourself, for listening in on what your deepest needs are, so that you can get yourself out of this depression and this bad situation. Take initiative and be your own ally. Then, when you show yourself love in these ways, you will see that your world changes for the better and people will love you more.

I hope this helps a bit

I am not going to tell you that your life is easy. It's not. Nor is the solution. You have been blessed with the opportunity to go to college, blessed with a boyfriend, and with a sense of self-agency that many with normal IQs lack.

Frankly, from what I have learned, out of all the disabilities…those with intellectual disabilities are most discriminated against. Don't ask me why, and not even I realized how much discrimination I held against this subset of people until it was brought up in a college class. Then, I realized…and I changed but I think of how many people are out there that haven't changed like I have…and who hold views that people with downs syndrome should not exist. Your stepfather for instance.

I don't know why people like to play God, or why they like to put themselves above others. It is in the nature of people, and a most awful part of what humanity is about. That doesn't mean you have to lie down and accept it though.

Because of this discrimination, you'll have to face this. It won't be easy. It'll never be easy, but your boyfriend's parents are not making it any better for you right now. If I may say my opinion, they sound toxic. Cut them off.

Surround yourself with those that see you for you and appreciate you for who you are.

The_long_journey said:

( surreal event :::::btw.... 2 weeks ago I dreamt of coming out of my old biology class in high school and started chasing a butterfly down the hallway then the hallway gradually started disappearing . Everything turned white and asked me " Are you happy" ...A loving presence surrounded me and said " you are loved completely" " are you happy now? " I responded " Yes I'm happy now..." then I woke up into this hell hole. I was like noooooo......:club: This is a horrible prank from a religious perspective.

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A horrible prank from a religious perspective? No, not quite. It is your own perspective that is the 'horrible prank', if anything. You are looking at this entirely the wrong way! Think more positively.
From a religious perspective, and taking this as an intended and meaningful message, you were told that you are loved completely, and you were shown happiness.
Then you wake up into what you call this "hell hole"? Even if things don't always go your way and maybe not as you expect them to it does not mean you aren't loved.
You need to realize this. That despite whatever happens you are loved.

You make several references to 'God', so I assume you're a believer then? It would be true for any believer that they must accept that they are loved by God, or else this belief is nothing more than illusion. So, either God loves you, or God does not really exist. This is the ultimate conclusion of any believer.

According to these 'events' you have had, these are not things suggesting to you that God is playing cruel tricks on you, but within the scope of religious-belief these are events trying to tell you that you are loved by many but failing to see this due other to problems in your life.

But do not forget the love of others, as well. What about your own parents, maybe? Are they around?
The way you describe your boyfriend it seems he loves you, too. What is wrong in this relationship, exactly? Is it only his parents? Why do his parents not like you? Why is it you both can't escape them together, like you suggested? Why is it your bf thinks that wouldn't work? Why do you say this means the relationship will not last?

Maybe you are presuming too much here. Or maybe you're correct in the relationship won't last. If this is true, maybe it's best you prepare yourself by understanding and accepting this love you have forgotten about.
Either way you should embrace what these events are telling you, whether they are from God or not. Maybe they are even just your own mind telling you what you should already know. It doesn't really matter where the events are coming from because interpreting their meaning is entirely up to you.

In any case, I don't think anyone can explain how to handle dealing with his family unless you provided more of an explanation of exactly what the problem is with them. What conflicts do you have with each other?

I was sent out of my body like a vacuum into this black space then I saw a flash a vision then a white flash then a white tunnel.....I saw what I assume an Angel with no wings behind a mist like cloud that was all white.... It didn't talk but it somehow said to me like in telepathic saying in wasn't my time. I was sent back into my body like a vacuum like force ... I gasp for air and then I was pale sweating but overcame it

Click to expand...

2 weeks ago I dreamt of coming out of my old biology class in high school and started chasing a butterfly down the hallway then the hallway gradually started disappearing . Everything turned white and asked me " Are you happy" ...A loving presence surrounded me and said " you are loved completely" " are you happy now? " I responded " Yes I'm happy now..."

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I've already pm you, though i post here as well, sounds like you been experiencing something called astral projection/travel where you have an out-of-body experience,
where you leave the physical body and travel into ‘higher’ realms

I did but my family and friends shrug it off because they said it was probably a hallucination...... I kept saying no because my boyfriend said I was getting really pale fast and not breathing ..... He said my heart stopped for moment and gotten really scared.....I know in my heart that was a glimpse of heaven but ....., even though others Say they're skeptics......I'm catholic and I'm always a realist 100% .....I know what I saw was true too



I do appreciate those who responded and took everything I said as fact .....it's hard not being written off bc of the learning curve