Lonely because you're a metalhead, is it a cultural thing?

Hey all, not really sure why I'm posting here heh but here goes

Anyone else a metalhead? Do you feel isolated from others because you can't find anyone to connect with who enjoys the same culture?

I feel like in England the movement has totally passed now and there are barely any people who enjoy decent music anymore (not just metal), then I see all these Scandinavian countries, south american etc where it seems to be really popular?

I struggled to keep friends after school because I literally had like 2 friends who enjoyed the same stuff as me, after school these friends moved onto new groups/moved away etc. I always felt totally isolated as a teenager because there was barely anyone in my school who liked metal and people used to bully me for it.

Even now, I think my boyfriend finds me irritating for liking it despite him liking metal when we got together. I have literally no friends, just hang out with my brother and his girlfriend (who thankfully like the same music haha)

Anyway, I ranted on a bit there sorry, just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences

As a fellow Brit I think I can empathise - as music trends come and go, the scene that goes with them slowly disappears too, leaving behind those dedicated while others move onto other things. I grew up with the metal and dance music scenes of the late 90s. Nowadays most of the places that catered for that sort of music have gone, the clubs and record stores have disappeared, all the ravers have got grown up jobs in banks and children.

In Britain we have such a massively diverse range of music and genres are often born here so the trends move a lot faster than other places. Go to New Zealand and the radio stations pretty much play Creed and Nickelback all day! *vomits*

However those scenes, although are not as prominent as they were back in the day, still exist and whenever there's a band touring you see those people eagerly dust off their glow sticks/hair dye/punk piercings and live it up like they are still in their teens. Also as generations move on they often recruit new fans. I like Iron Maiden and they often have a huge range of people attend their gigs, from old men who liked them in the early 80s to teenagers who discovered their music recently and delved into their back catalogues.

I guess your best idea is to try and contact fellow metal heads online and strike up some friendships based on your mutual love of that music and hopefully something will blossom from there.

Up the Irons! \m/ \m/

Although I am not into Metal, I can sympathise with you about the problem of not finding like-minded people very often. Did you consider a trip to scandinavia? I have seen lots of happy metal heads there. Or at least going to some conventions/concerts and at least make some long-distance friends?



hey, welcome to the forum...

Hey thanks for replying

I agree, its been hard for me because I have three older brothers all of which were around for the original movements of the 70s/80s so I've grown up listening to thrash metal. I feel like I'm stuck in the 80's, I think its in our nature to experience nostalgic sadness or wish we were born in a different time so we could live the experiences first hand but I seem to struggle with this more than others I think?
I love Iron Maiden too yeahhh \m/ , I always remember my brother buying all their albums for Christmas one year when I was about 12 and being totally excited when I found an metal Eddie badge at a car boot , wearing it with pride on my leather jacket hahah.

I guess there are probably a lot of people around who are still into the scene, I just never seem to be able to find them! I am going to a couple of concerts this year including Metallica , but I'd find it hard to connect with people on a personal level because I'll be too busy jumping around like a lunatic I think.

Ughhh, Creed and Nickelback *shudder*, some things are worse than hell haha

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Hey Peaches, thanks for replying

I have considered visiting Scandinavia, I really want to go on one of those cruises of the Fjords but money is an issue at this present time
I could go to a convention, I find it really difficult to maintain friendships though. I can talk to people now, I used to be a lot more anxious but I feel as though people don't remember me or don't find me interesting enough to continue talking or create a friendship.
And concerts is an idea, but in past experience it seems hard to actually talk to anyone there apart from when you're in the line waiting :/

eheh, socialize while head-banging sounds challenging

what about forums, maybe find others who want to go to concerts etc but don't know anyone? Are there any festivals that last more than one evening? What about learning an instrument and joining a (metal) band?

yeahh it kind of is hehe
that could be a good idea, I'm useless I just don't know where to start! I don't know how my boyfriend would feel if I made friends over the internet and just met up with them at concerts though, he's kind of overprotective like that at times

I could do that, I suck at instruments though! Mainly because I hate practicing. I used to have singing lessons for many years, but my voice isn't suited for metal. Do you play any instruments?

I asked because I had a classmate in high school who played bass in a metal band, and all he did was 4 notes

livingdedgirl said:

I used to have singing lessons for many years, but my voice isn't suited for metal.

Click to expand...

Not to push the issue or anything, but some of the most beautiful rock/metal music I've ever heard comes from voices that were 'not really considered appropriate for rock/metal'.

Like Evanescence's Amy Lee, for example. There are plenty of others, too.
You just have to nail down the style, that's all. It is what makes those artists so unique and so interesting.

I've never associated metalhead with loneliness. I think it's more of a personal base.