Falling right back into old patterns and habits. I haven't wanted to self-harm since December. Today, I'm barely fighting the urge to pick up the knife.
I've been struggling to get my GED for years so I can get a job and have some form of independence. As of yet, I still can't do it. I'm sitting at home again with my crazy mother who frequently barges into my room to ramble about some topic or ask some question about my personal life and then without out fail it devolves into screaming and crying, possibly tearing at her hair and clothes, and asking why I hate her.
A close friend has betrayed me. Right now my lover is the only person in my life who brings me joy, and due to his job right now, I can't see him often nor live with him at the moment. It seems every thing I do is wrong or questionable. I've stopped making an effort to eat enough or sleep enough, and a growing lax about my own personal hygiene. My mood is more erratic right now than it has been in three years. I feel like I'm about to snap, again, and the last time I snapped I stayed in that hell hole of insanity for almost four years...
I don't even know what the point of this post is. Just... kind words. Please. I'm crying. Someone please just tell me I'm not a pathetic waste of human life.
I've been struggling to get my GED for years so I can get a job and have some form of independence. As of yet, I still can't do it. I'm sitting at home again with my crazy mother who frequently barges into my room to ramble about some topic or ask some question about my personal life and then without out fail it devolves into screaming and crying, possibly tearing at her hair and clothes, and asking why I hate her.
A close friend has betrayed me. Right now my lover is the only person in my life who brings me joy, and due to his job right now, I can't see him often nor live with him at the moment. It seems every thing I do is wrong or questionable. I've stopped making an effort to eat enough or sleep enough, and a growing lax about my own personal hygiene. My mood is more erratic right now than it has been in three years. I feel like I'm about to snap, again, and the last time I snapped I stayed in that hell hole of insanity for almost four years...
I don't even know what the point of this post is. Just... kind words. Please. I'm crying. Someone please just tell me I'm not a pathetic waste of human life.