Long Distance Realationship help

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I really need help, I met this guy online and we fell in love. The problem is that we are on opposite sides of the Earth, we are both in our teens, and for both of us, this is our first relationship. I really love him, I just feel like the odds are stacked against us. I know it will be years before we will even have a chance of seeing each other. I can't help being slightly pessimistic about this. I feel alone, and I really need some support and advice.
 
How long have you been talking to each other? How do you know it's love if it's your first relationship and you've never actually met? Have you talked on the phone (actual phone, voice chat, etc) or just via the internet?

All I can tell you is to be patient. You are both teenagers, so it's unlikely will be able to meet until you are 18. If it's meant to be, it will be and waiting will only strengthen your relationship.
 
We have been talking for about a month, we have talked over voice chat and on the internet. We really fit together, just recently he told me that he loved me. He turns 18 in August but I doubt we will see each other then. It worries me because the future is so foggy, I just don't know how to hang on. People have told me that these kinds of relationships wouldn't last.
 
I'm sorry to have to say this, but it's unlikely that it's love. It's only been a month and you've never even met. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's not possible to fall in love with someone over the internet. But given that you two are so young (how old are you?) and that you've never been in a relationship before, it's unlikely.
I would guess that it's infatuation or something new for both of you. It could turn into love, but I doubt very much if it is right now.
 
TheRealCallie said:
I'm sorry to have to say this, but it's unlikely that it's love. It's only been a month and you've never even met. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's not possible to fall in love with someone over the internet. But given that you two are so young (how old are you?) and that you've never been in a relationship before, it's unlikely.
I would guess that it's infatuation or something new for both of you. It could turn into love, but I doubt very much if it is right now.

I know that he has faults, and is not perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and I don't expect ours to be. Knowing that, I wouldn't say that I am infatuated. Infatuation is more of a sexual and unreasonable kind of love, I am not at all that way. But you could be right since I don't have much experience. It is something new, I already feel that phase wearing off, but that doesn't make me want to leave. Again, you could be right. I guess the only thing to do is to wait and see. I'm 16.
 
The hotter a fire is, the faster it burns out. The stronger an early connection between two lovers is, the faster it cools off and they come to hate each other. This is why the love affairs that begin with powerful early passion last an average of six weeks.

There's no point in swearing that one will love another person forever because NOTHING is forever. People grow and change. Among married couples, love deteriorates into companionship after a few years, and in some cases transformis into a feeling of entrapment that turns it into hatred. In other words, _Cinderella_ and _Snow White_ are ugly and harmfuil lies, worse than the glossy magazines that cause body image issues.

Nobody truly knows someone they've communicated with only online, even if they've video and voice skype-chatted and actually seen and heard the other person. Nobody truly knows anyone else until they've been in at least semi-regular contact for a few years. YEARS. I'm not joking. It does take years to build a solid foundation for a romantic relationship, because a true relationship arises from friendship, and the friendship must aways come first if the relationship is going to last. (Which is why so many relationships DON'T last. The friendship component is missing from the beginning.)

Read the above or wipe your ass with it the way everyone always has with all of my contributions to society, it's all the same with me.
 
mickey said:
The hotter a fire is, the faster it burns out. The stronger an early connection between two lovers is, the faster it cools off and they come to hate each other. This is why the love affairs that begin with powerful early passion last an average of six weeks.

There's no point in swearing that one will love another person forever because NOTHING is forever. People grow and change. Among married couples, love deteriorates into companionship after a few years, and in some cases transformis into a feeling of entrapment that turns it into hatred. In other words, _Cinderella_ and _Snow White_ are ugly and harmfuil lies, worse than the glossy magazines that cause body image issues.

Nobody truly knows someone they've communicated with only online, even if they've video and voice skype-chatted and actually seen and heard the other person. Nobody truly knows anyone else until they've been in at least semi-regular contact for a few years. YEARS. I'm not joking. It does take years to build a solid foundation for a romantic relationship, because a true relationship arises from friendship, and the friendship must aways come first if the relationship is going to last. (Which is why so many relationships DON'T last. The friendship component is missing from the beginning.)

Read the above or wipe your ass with it the way everyone always has with all of my contributions to society, it's all the same with me.

I understand what you mean, I can't expect a perfect romance. We met by chance rather than on a dating website, I wasn't expecting romance in the first place. I can't say that I know him yet either, but I genuinely look forward to doing that.

Would it be possible to build a relationship and a friendship at the same time? Because I'm young and havn't been in a relationship before doesn't mean that I'm incapable of forming a long lasting friendship.

You do have a point though.
 
You probably can build a friendship at the same time as you build a relationship, but I believe that the friendship always has to have priority.
 
I agree with everyone here. Having a great friendship with each other is very important base for any relationship. Also trust, honesty and patience are extremely important. Especially trust because it can't simply happen without it. You're still so very young and I would reconsider the whole relationship if I would be in your age. Having a long-distance relationship is very very hard, very time and money consuming even for people who have their careers and everything. One month isn't enough for knowing the other person well enough. I'm not saying that it couldn't possibly be love but I would call it as ''crush'' instead of love. Best of luck for you two!
 
One month is far too short time to know anyone, even in real life it takes months to know someone and over the internet it take months and months to know someone. Any kind of relationship requires time and patience and on internet boundaries it requires even more. More of everything. More patience and more time. I'll repeat what Callie has already said, wait it out. You're both young and yours first time, give it time to nurture it. There is saying...

Distance is to love like wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small and kindles the great!

If it is infatuation It will die down with time and If it is really love Or has the chance of growing into deep love then the waiting will only strengthen it with time.

That's the best I can think of for both of you. Give your bonding time and patience. And Use that time to understand each other better.
 
Long distance relationships can work out. I know most people would want to believe that they would be impossible, but they're not. Hard, yes. Straining, sure. But not impossible. If you both genuinely like each other and enjoy talking to one another, then waiting doesn't have to be a big deal.
 
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to have more patience and work to get to know him better. I'll put more effort into our friendship instead of our romantic side, and hope it turns out well. You guys are right for questioning if we really love each other or are just infatuated. At this point we can only speculate and at another point time will tell.
 
You're one smart person for understanding that us old farts are not just a bunch of domineering windbags. Sometimes we can be resources you can draw on in order to get what you want when it's not feasible for oyu to get it by yourself.
 
I have to say I agree with the common points above - its simply to short of a time frame to label it as something so strong as love.
As emotional as it may be I would recommend perceiving it from a realistic point of view. The consciousness of this significant other is there, but the experiences you can possibly have with him are not. So I would just reconsider your actions and emotions before diving into it further.

But hey, who knows, you guys could end up being star-crossed lovers. Also i can relate as I'm sixteen as well and this has happened to me before.

All in all,
Good luck :D
 
mickey said:
You're one smart person for understanding that us old farts are not just a bunch of domineering windbags. Sometimes we can be resources you can draw on in order to get what you want when it's not feasible for oyu to get it by yourself.

Haha, that's exactly who I wanted help from. I don't know many old farts or windbags that I can talk to, I was hoping to find some on the internet.


Psycho said:
I have to say I agree with the common points above - its simply to short of a time frame to label it as something so strong as love.
As emotional as it may be I would recommend perceiving it from a realistic point of view. The consciousness of this significant other is there, but the experiences you can possibly have with him are not. So I would just reconsider your actions and emotions before diving into it further.

But hey, who knows, you guys could end up being star-crossed lovers. Also i can relate as I'm sixteen as well and this has happened to me before.

All in all,
Good luck :D

I needed a realistic point of view, it's hard for me to find one, feeling the way I do. Obviously, the physical side of our relationship is missing so yes, there are experiences that I am missing out on. I feel like in some way, that I have to compensate for that. Thanks for the good luck, and thanks for not letting me feel alone.
 

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