the death-wish of joining groups

Forming groups is as old as life itself. It started about 3.46 billion years ago, long before any living thing started doing anything like eating, seeking shelter or having sex. Because we inherit group formation from the most ancient of sources, there is a push inside all of us to form groups and participate in them, and it's a push that's irresistible. We HAVE to be part of groups. There is no choice.

But experience shows that, any time you put two or more people together, things eventually end up going all to hell. It's unavoidable that groups fall apart and their members become unhappy. Recent experience on ALL proves that, because most of us were drawn to ALL precisely because we have problems joining and remaining members of groups (including groups of two people), and yet even we can't keep our act together enough to avoid having ALL turn into a cesspool of bickering (in which forum staff actively fan the flames).

It's like the push for us to form groups is some kind of death wish. I resent having that push inside me.

One can belong to a group and be active in it and still feel lonely.
Being in a group is important granted, but a group necessitates a compromise between the members.

It seems to me an issue of the Zen concept of Letting Go Of Attachment - or Not Being Attached To The Outcome. For myself, I feel bad when my expectations aren't met, or in the case of a long term group gone bad, when I lose what sense of control I had over my position within the group.

The need for heirarchy/dominance within human groups definitely causes problems. The positioning dance gets played out over and over, as people come and go within the group. The only thing I can think of is to not be attached to the outcome. And to accept what is available and let it be enough. Not an easy practice.