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I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??
 
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??


I feel like this on some days. I felt like this a lot in the past. Im getting there because I was so tired feeling this way. I started getting involved in a lot of activities just so that I could figure out what I like, and what I'm good at. I realised I draw very well and I love art and paintings.
So I suggest starting there, yes, you'll feel unsure & lost but it's worth a shot.
Get busy as well, don't lock yourself up in your room, try being active.
All is not lost, it isn't too late to start a fresh. Get out there and see what the world has to offer.
All the best and take care.
 
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??

I'm still finding my place in this world, searching everywhere but that is somehow stupid. Sometimes I think I know but I doubt because of previous bad choices. I don't have friends, I mean real physical friends only ones I have are virtual thousand miles apart. Despite the fact that I'm not shy, neither do I have bad sense of humor nor I'm afraid to talk with anyone but still I don't get along well with people, maybe something to do with my blunt behavior and straight forwardness, people really don't like to hear things which displeases them and sometimes I do that.

Dwelling on what you could have, should have, would have wouldn't change a single thing in your life. It never has and never will the only thing matter now is what you can, what you will and what you should do now with your life. Will stay rooted at one place and regret over things which you couldn't have or will you move forward leaving your bad past behind you? It's your life, you're only in your 20's, you have a whole life ahead of you, I'm telling ya cause I'm in 20's too. We have a whole life ahead of us, full of opportunity and events. Move forward and test it who knows maybe that will change your course of life forever and you would be wishing to do it earlier. Don't let things take you down what you couldn't have, take the chance and see the world once more.

I know saying is easier but you have to unless you want to spend your whole life regreting over those things again and again.
 
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??
you dont know how lucky you are.
When I was your age I married, it turned out to be. Disastrious.
I divorced and could not live at home.
my father was an alcoholic, my mother was not a well
woman.
You need to be thankful that you have parents that love you.

Dating is where young people end up pregnant or heart broken, so many
young people make bad choices,
Oh if I were young I would wait till had not been in rush to date.
Do you like working in restaurants to get some experience to have more confidence in myself.
keep on keeping on till you know the time to move on.
right now just be thankful for what you have.


Sorry for any typos I may have made. I am posting on a small tablet.
 
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??

I am curious why you started telling yourself this as a teen. I did, but that was because I was being told I was stupid, which made me feel worthless. Which I took the opposite approach though, I started just working my butt off to make people think I was better than what I thought I was. Now I am super screw up from it though, because now I am not enough...ever! I push myself to the limit, and it has affected my health. And I am like you, I'm in the awkward mid 20s stage in my life! I shouldn't be having health problems with my stress.

To be honest, just go live your life. Don't stress about it. Make mistakes, that's how you learn. Look things up online if you are afraid to mess up, heck I had to watch a youtube video on how to set a mousetrap, pretty freaking dumb right there!

My dad use to say, "I should, I should, I should, till I should all over myself." Don't live with the should've's and should's, just do. Start small. Go for a walk and just make eye contact with people and smile. Talk to people on here everyday or on chat. Then gradually do more and more.

I dwell on my past too, I get days where I punch the steering wheel of my truck because I would think of something in the past that was stupid. But hey, you just gotta fight. You gotta be young and dumb, before you are old and wise. :)

ventura23 said:
Dating is where young people end up pregnant or heart broken, so many
young people make bad choices,

Meh, I disagree with this. Have I dated guys I shouldn't have, yea. Have done some stupid things, yea. But I don't think as a young person I make bad choices. I take them as learning experiences and not do them again. I think with my past boyfriends, I figured out things about myself. I learned what I want out of life, and what my morals really are. What I believed in. I predicted my futures with these guys and ran when I needed too. And yea, I got dumped. And yea, it sucked, but life goes on.
 
Nicolelt said:
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy. I stopped doing things, started incarcerating myself in my room and not really doing anything self-rewarding. Now I am in my mid-20s and am greatly struggling because of all that. Because of this I've missed out on a lot of experiences, I am ignorant about a lot of things, my sense of humor is poor, I am painfully awkward and shy, and I don't really have any hobbies. I have little to no college education and work experience, still live with my parents, have no friends, don't drive, and have never dated. I feel like I don't really know who I am and where my place in this world is. I don't know what to do with my life. I still feel like I am nothing, and nothing really interests me. I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

Anyone else out there like this??

I am curious why you started telling yourself this as a teen. I did, but that was because I was being told I was stupid, which made me feel worthless. Which I took the opposite approach though, I started just working my butt off to make people think I was better than what I thought I was. Now I am super screw up from it though, because now I am not enough...ever! I push myself to the limit, and it has affected my health. And I am like you, I'm in the awkward mid 20s stage in my life! I shouldn't be having health problems with my stress.

To be honest, just go live your life. Don't stress about it. Make mistakes, that's how you learn. Look things up online if you are afraid to mess up, heck I had to watch a youtube video on how to set a mousetrap, pretty freaking dumb right there!

My dad use to say, "I should, I should, I should, till I should all over myself." Don't live with the should've's and should's, just do. Start small. Go for a walk and just make eye contact with people and smile. Talk to people on here everyday or on chat. Then gradually do more and more.

I dwell on my past too, I get days where I punch the steering wheel of my truck because I would think of something in the past that was stupid. But hey, you just gotta fight. You gotta be young and dumb, before you are old and wise. :)

ventura23 said:
Dating is where young people end up pregnant or heart broken, so many
young people make bad choices,

Meh, I disagree with this. Have I dated guys I shouldn't have, yea. Have done some stupid things, yea. But I don't think as a young person I make bad choices. I take them as learning experiences and not do them again. I think with my past boyfriends, I figured out things about myself. I learned what I want out of life, and what my morals really are. What I believed in. I predicted my futures with these guys and ran when I needed too. And yea, I got dumped. And yea, it sucked, but life goes on.
 
Thank you, guys. :) Your posts really mean a lot. I am trying my best to do what I can to get better, but it's really hard. Most of the time I just honestly don't want to be alive and that makes every positive thing that I try to do seem pointless.

mslonely said:
I started getting involved in a lot of activities just so that I could figure out what I like, and what I'm good at. I realised I draw very well and I love art and paintings.

That's great. Drawing is actually something I do well. It's like I do have interests and know what I'd like to do, but I can't do anything. I feel too depressed and dislike myself too much to do anything.

ventura23 said:
Do you like working in restaurants to get some experience to have more confidence in myself.

I got a job some months ago and still am there. It's been going pretty well, and I am very happy about that, but the socializing part is really stressing me out. I have been told many times that I am too quiet, "shy"/"timid", "serious", and absent-minded. I don't particularly care for anyone that I work with, but I wish I could learn to deal with them better. I don't feel comfortable with anyone. I tend to feel like I am back in high school: I'm the dorky loner and they're the "cool kids".

PenDragon said:
I don't have friends, I mean real physical friends only ones I have are virtual thousand miles apart.

I talk to a few people online as well. But I feel uncomfortable with online people too :(

Nicolelt said:
ventura23 said:
Dating is where young people end up pregnant or heart broken, so many
young people make bad choices,

Meh, I disagree with this. Have I dated guys I shouldn't have, yea. Have done some stupid things, yea. But I don't think as a young person I make bad choices. I take them as learning experiences and not do them again. I think with my past boyfriends, I figured out things about myself. I learned what I want out of life, and what my morals really are. What I believed in. I predicted my futures with these guys and ran when I needed too. And yea, I got dumped. And yea, it sucked, but life goes on.

Me too; I feel like I generally don't make bad choices (apart from choosing to engage in self-sabotage). I see the less you experience, the less you grow, and having put off dating for so long has definitely hindered my growth in some ways.

Nicolelt said:
I am curious why you started telling yourself this as a teen. I did, but that was because I was being told I was stupid, which made me feel worthless.

I was told I was incapable a couple of times, but I largely was simply treated as being incapable and subpar. I was also constantly being criticized and compared to my siblings and other people. Having stuff like acne made me feel lesser as well.
 
hate said:
I gradually started convincing myself as a teen that I was bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy.
<----------->
I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...
See the connection? You're still doing it. Maybe you already know this... but then the question is when does it stop?

Yeah, I used to do that sort of stuff a long time ago. There's an easy solution to it, too.
Forget who you used to be, who you might be now, and just become the person you want to be. Take small steps if you have to.
It's a long journey, and it's not an easy journey either. But beginning the journey is very easy, and it solves your problem.
 
You need some successes. And when you have them, you need to identify them as successes. These are the things which disprove the ideas that you are "bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy". This is what I did, and what I still do, to keep myself from falling into this belief about me.

To have successes you have to do things, and see them through to the point where you can identify them as successes. Anything you start and quit before making progress can be used by your negative self to prove your existing negative beliefs about yourself.

If you have trouble mustering the energy to do things, or sabotage the doing before you start by telling yourself the "I can't, why try, why bother..." kind of stuff, then trick yourself into it. I have all kinds of tricks which get me moving, keep me moving. I'm a regular trickster with my own mind! And when my mind gets clever enough to know the tricks and they stop working, I find new ones that work, and I keep on with the successes, big and small.

Turn your eyes forward. The past is gone.
 
Yes I agree but I got tired of fighting.

Mental and physical exhaustion in this world is real! I mean, honestly, what do they want from us. We are not supermen or superwomen.

I've given up on humanity and am concentrating now on living a low-key, peaceful, quiet life.
 
hate said:
I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

What CAN be? What WILL happen? < You can control these two things. I believe in you :)
 
AmytheTemperamental said:
hate said:
I can't stop dwelling on what should've, could've, would've happened...

What CAN be? What WILL happen? < You can control these two things. I believe in you :)

I love this, thanks Amy :)
 
I think the title of this thread says it best.

If you think you're great, you *are* great. You don't need society's permission to place a high value on yourself. Just do it regardless, and it will eventually show. Obviously this doesn't mean you can "think" your way into achieving extremely difficult goals or making massive improvements overnight. But it does mean you can value yourself highly.. and this is more attractive than doing the opposite.

I mean if you think you're low value, then you're going to come across as "low value" and that's not going to be helpful for anything, really.
 
AmytheTemperamental said:
What CAN be? What WILL happen? < You can control these two things. I believe in you :)

You can't control what WILL happen in many cases. You send someone a message on an OLD site, the outcome is completely in the other person's hands at that point.
 
LonelyInAtl said:
AmytheTemperamental said:
What CAN be? What WILL happen? < You can control these two things. I believe in you :)

You can't control what WILL happen in many cases. You send someone a message on an OLD site, the outcome is completely in the other person's hands at that point.

Everything in life is up to a certain extent. Nothing is a 100% sure always. However you do have influence on how you perceive things and how you feel about them. You do have control over doing what you want to happen and knowing what the possible outcomes would be, and you defnitely have control over deciding how to deal with whatever that outcome is.
 
ladyforsaken said:
LonelyInAtl said:
AmytheTemperamental said:
What CAN be? What WILL happen? < You can control these two things. I believe in you :)

You can't control what WILL happen in many cases. You send someone a message on an OLD site, the outcome is completely in the other person's hands at that point.

Everything in life is up to a certain extent. Nothing is a 100% sure always. However you do have influence on how you perceive things and how you feel about them. You do have control over doing what you want to happen and knowing what the possible outcomes would be, and you defnitely have control over deciding how to deal with whatever that outcome is.

Lady said it beautifully, as always :)
 
CamilaHusgen said:
Hey, I am here to invite you all to know my new project about self-esteem! I will teach you tips to overcome low self-esteem, anxiety and stress by meditation trainings and great articles too!
So don't miss this opportunity, subscribe on husgen.com/join and receive it daily :)

Husgen

You've posted this same thing in three different threads.
 
BeyondShy said:
CamilaHusgen said:
Hey, I am here to invite you all to know my new project about self-esteem! I will teach you tips to overcome low self-esteem, anxiety and stress by meditation trainings and great articles too!
So don't miss this opportunity, subscribe on husgen.com/join and receive it daily :)

Husgen

You've posted this same thing in three different threads.

More than 3. Not a word different. Likely getting paid to spam the site link. Please be careful if you (or anyone) decide to join that site, there is no info about it, as it's new and it could be a scam.
 
TheRealCallie said:
BeyondShy said:
You've posted this same thing in three different threads.

More than 3. Not a word different. Likely getting paid to spam the site link. Please be careful if you (or anyone) decide to join that site, there is no info about it, as it's new and it could be a scam.

Yeah, it is a lot more now but at the time when I posted this she was only up to three. I don't think the mods here will appreciate this too much.
 
Sometimes said:
You need some successes. And when you have them, you need to identify them as successes. These are the things which disprove the ideas that you are "bad at everything, stupid, worthless, and unworthy". This is what I did, and what I still do, to keep myself from falling into this belief about me.

To have successes you have to do things, and see them through to the point where you can identify them as successes. Anything you start and quit before making progress can be used by your negative self to prove your existing negative beliefs about yourself.

If you have trouble mustering the energy to do things, or sabotage the doing before you start by telling yourself the "I can't, why try, why bother..." kind of stuff, then trick yourself into it. I have all kinds of tricks which get me moving, keep me moving. I'm a regular trickster with my own mind! And when my mind gets clever enough to know the tricks and they stop working, I find new ones that work, and I keep on with the successes, big and small.

Turn your eyes forward. The past is gone.

Building successes is pretty much the only way forward.

If you wind up pursuing something artistic, I'd recommend small communities that encourage a lot of peer interaction and feedback. Be prepared to try several until one fits.
 

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