Living to prove them wrong

I find myself doing extremely well these days, exept for a bit of procrastinating here and there but the only reason I'm doing so well is because I have people around me who are convinced i'm incapable and constantly remind me that I can't do certain things or that I'm not hardworking enough & so I work extra hard just to prove to them that I can. Infact, sometimes I don't think it's me i'm working hard for. Clearly, it's helped a bit/helping but it's not comfortable at all. I want to get to a point where I do things for myself because I feel like I am basically living to prove something & I'm aware that I don't need to live this way. I want to be okay with failing as long as I pick myself up & try again. I want to live & do well for my own sake.

My questions, is this kind of living healthy at all? And, what can I do to start impressing myself & making myself proud & doing things for me?

Any advice would be highly appreciated.

Is it healthy? Well, no, it's really not.

You are living your life to prove others wrong, as you stated. You aren't happy and it's tiring, so I think you answered that question for yourself. When you live for other people, even when it's to prove them wrong, you aren't really doing what YOU want to do.
But, with that said, if it's helping you in a sense, then it's somewhat okay, but only if you do it just long enough to get yourself moving onto the path you really want to be on.

How can you start impressing yourself? Well, what do YOU want to do? What are you interested in? What would make you feel accomplished? Answer those questions and you will know what to do. Only you can figure out what will make you proud of yourself. Start small if you aren't sure where to begin. Do something you've always wanted to do, but never had the ambition to actually follow through on it.

The only person you need to work hard for is you. You can be proud of your accomplishments whether or not someone else is or not. And, I have finally learned that other people sometimes won't appreciate your efforts but that is OK and you can be happy for yourself.

You have said that in spite of the fact that you are doing this to prove a point to others, you feel that you're doing extremely well right now. Which means you are on the right track, it is just the intent behind doing what you do that is the issue. Perhaps imagine how it would be if you took the others out of the equation. You already have the momentum build up and you're working hard. You need to associate the reasoning behind your efforts to your own emotions and feelings and pride in doing well. Being successful in the eyes of someone else is just an incidental consequence in that scenario. Perhaps start by doing something that these negative people won't know about that makes you feel good and proud of yourself. You will know you did it for only for yourself and that should help.

I agree with Aisha. You need to transfer this need to prove, to a feeling of pride in doing what you do well. You can do other things, but really taking on board and owning your successes is important, and as she points out, you have a ready space for success in the work in which you already have momentum.

Thank you all for your insight & advice, I see what you all mean & from your words I have an idea as to where to from here, thank you so much, I truly appreciate.

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TheRealCallie said:

do YOU want to do? What are you interested in? What would make you feel accomplished? Answer those questions and you will know what to do. Only you can figure out what will make you proud of yourself. Start small if you aren't sure where to begin. Do something you've always wanted to do, but never had the ambition to actually follow through on it.

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I understand this & completely agree.

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Aisha said:

Perhaps imagine how it would be if you took the others out of the equation…Perhaps start by doing something that these negative people won't know about that makes you feel good and proud of yourself. You will know you did it for only for yourself and that should help.

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I think this is a good idea.

I've lived my entire life doing things for others and even choosing the profession I was stuck in for years for my parents. It was never what I wanted to do.

It only leaves you feeling jaded and used at the end of it. You might even build resentment towards these people over time.

I'll just say this. You live your life for yourself, not for other people. You can contribute good deeds to them if you feel indebted in some way, perhaps, but it doesn't mean you spend most of your life or even your entire lifetime doing it.

I think I spent too many years in life trying to live up to others expectations. And, even if you succeed in doing so, it can become very stifling if that isn't what you want to be doing. Do what YOU want to do. And, your heart will shine in the way it was meant too. And, those who can't see it, they don't deserve to see it anyway. Be who you are. It is OK to give yourself permission to follow your own dreams, passions, etc.

Thank you LadyF & delledonne11, appreciated.

mslonely said:

Thank you LadyF & delledonne11, appreciated.

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I second this.
Follow your own heart and your own path through life.

Tiina63 said:

mslonely said:

Thank you LadyF & delledonne11, appreciated.

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I second this.
Follow your own heart and your own path through life.

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I will do just that. Thank you. It'll take a while but eventually I'll make it.

You gotta live for yourself, not live for other people.