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breakthecycle

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So here goes i wanted to post on this site for a long time, but i just never founded the right words to say.

Poor English sry.

Since im drunk yes i got drunk all alone. Cuz thats the only time i fell alive besides that i just feel like a useless white meat without any future or hope.

Today i called my old buddies and told them how i felt. And told em how much im disappointed about them. That they never called or cared about my life. Pathetic? sure thing.
But what do you want me do to? Be strong and pretend that everything is all right. When the truth is that i want to commit suicide 24/7. And all I can think about is the past and what i did wrong back then,.

I may have suicide thoughts for no reason, but should´ t I feel that way when im alone ALL the friggin time
Here is some facts:
Im 17 years old still a virgin
I dont have any friends left
Im already a drunk and a burnout
And I have been unemployed for 7 months.

Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future.
What should i do
Give me a reason why I should stick around..


And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares :(
 
Man, I'm in the same boat as you (besides being a virgn) and I'm 21.

Be happy that you're still young enough to sit on your ass while not being looked down upon.
 
Thank you for the reply Sixtyten.
I saw your story on this site. And it was like reading my own diary.
 
There is a lot of ppl who care, You just have to fined them.

It is normal to be a virgin at 17, I would say probably moor then %50 of ppl are at 17

When you first leave school its hard to find that first job. The only thing you can do is keep looking for work. It only takes one person to say yes, we wont you to work for us. One chance is all you need.
Hopefully when you do get a job you might make some moor friends there.

As far as the drinking alone grows, Well I do this sometimes and its never a good thing. I always end up moor depressed then I did be for I started drinking. There is only one person that can help you there, And that's you. hopefully you well not do it so much when you get a job. BTW I know loads of ppl that take a long time to start doing something from leaving school. Don't be so heard on your self.

Welcome here :)

-moved to introductions-
 
breakthecycle said:
Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future

Wow, they are good. At 17 they can make that claim?

Drunk, alone, and thinking of the things you feel you did wrong isn't a good place to be. I know i spent to much of my time in that situation.

I don't have any words that could make you feel better but i know things changed a lot for me since i was 17.
 
(((((((((((((Break the cycle)))))))))))))))))
First of all hello :) We are glad you are here :)

But what do you want me do to? Be strong and pretend that everything is all right.

It's never good to pretend everything is alright when it isn't. When people push the pain down inside of them and try to forget it, it eventually comes back and with much greater force. As far as being strong, being strong is having the guts to look at whats bothering you and work through it by getting help, advice, or whatever. You are taking that first step and that in itself, shows strength.


When the truth is that i want to commit suicide 24/7. And all I can think about is the past and what i did wrong back then,.

((((((((((Break the cycle)))))))))))))) everyone has a past. Everyone has done things they regret. It's part of life and being human. We f*ck up. I have had things in my past that have haunted me too. Guilt, I think it was the worst thing, that and the feeling of knowing it's all said and done. But ya know what? Hind sight is 20/20.

The important thing is this. People are always changing. You are not that same person in the past. I am not that person I was back then. You are different. You are a better and changed person now because you feel remorse. You have the capacity to do better and THAT is what counts. You can self correct.

I may have suicide thoughts for no reason, but should´ t I feel that way when im alone ALL the friggin time
I can understand why you would feel that way. It's like your life is out of your control. Realize that sometimes what we feel is not true. Sometimes we get in such a depression that all we can focus on is what's wrong. We get stuck in that. I am not discounting what you feel. It is real, very real. I know you are in pain and I wish there was some way I could help you.

Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future.

I haven't judged you that way. Nor has anyone else here. As far as the others who have judged you like that...F*CK EM! Who are they to define who you are? Only you can define yourself. And only you can let their poisenous words make you feel bad. Don't give them that power over you. You have a choice.

What should i do
Give me a reason why I should stick around..
Because there are people in your life that love you.


And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares :(


I hope you didn't regert this post and I hope you post anytime you want to. :) You are a part of this community know. Stick around, ok?

http://suicide.com/index2.html[/quote]
 
Thank you all I appreciate it.

First of all I was very drunk when i wrote this, and suicide was never a option for me. I could never do that to my family.

I guess the true is that i´m so bored/alone (and for so long) That I create my own depression.
 
breakthecycle said:
Thank you all I appreciate it.

First of all I was very drunk when i wrote this, and suicide was never a option for me. I could never do that to my family.

I guess the true is that i´m so bored/alone (and for so long) That I create my own depression.

Well I don't think you wish or course your own depression.

Things happen that get us feeling like this. Life can take us on a direction that feels uncomfortable to us. This is why we do things like drink. I do it sometimes as well. And I do it alone. In the hope it well make me feel less bored. I don't normally feel depressed when I start drinking. Just board and looking for some excitement I Guss. But by the end of the night I do end up moor depressed the moor I drink. As others have said, where only human. Where going to fresia up sometimes. We would not be normal if we did not.
 
hungry and lonely here

I work my ash off just to end up ultimately broke. I think people in jail eat better than I do.
 
jjam said:
hungry and lonely here

I work my ash off just to end up ultimately broke. I think people in jail eat better than I do.

You know I sometimes think ppl in jail have moor of a social network then I do as well. I mean at lest they got someone to talk to everyday and play pool with maybe lol

But I could never do jail time. I like to be free even if I am in all day at lest I can go out if I like. Plus I like my ass as it is, Know what I mean. Am a small lad, they would rip me to bits.
 
I've felt that way at times... Right out of high school all my friends where "doing things" and i was just the shy virgin with no job just passing the time in his room. My family started to look down on me, but wow has my life changed. I quickly cought up with all the people that were "doing something" with their lives. Apperently they wern't doing much at all to begin with, they just wanted to seem more "succesful" and all that virgin talk is bullshit, who cares if your a virgin. I've been with a lot of girls since then and honestly it didn't make me any better of a person.
Hang in there man! Trust me, there is more to life. And dont even think about that sucide honeysuckle... because we are all going to die one day, so we might as well see what life throws at us while we are still here to enjoy it.
IN FACT i just watch this movie called charlie bartlett and there is a scene about the odds of our existance thats really great, check it out.
go to youtube and search "Charlie Bartlett Part 7"
watch it!
 
WHAT A CUTE LITTLE BABY!!!!! OMG, such a cuttie pie! How old? About 4 months? Awwwwwwww. I love babies :) When I had clinical at MAHEC, I had to give immunizations. I never will forget my first one. The baby cried after I gave him two shots and I left the room because I was crying! I kept telling myself to suck it up but, it wasn't easy. I hate giving babies shots.

Anyhoo, cute little sweetie ya got there.
 
Please remember that alcohol is a major depressor and will only make you feel worse. Try not to think too much when you're drinking.

I hope things are better for you in the end.
 
breakthecycle said:
So here goes i wanted to post on this site for a long time, but i just never founded the right words to say.

Poor English sry.

Since im drunk yes i got drunk all alone. Cuz thats the only time i fell alive besides that i just feel like a useless white meat without any future or hope.

Today i called my old buddies and told them how i felt. And told em how much im disappointed about them. That they never called or cared about my life. Pathetic? sure thing.
But what do you want me do to? Be strong and pretend that everything is all right. When the truth is that i want to commit suicide 24/7. And all I can think about is the past and what i did wrong back then,.

I may have suicide thoughts for no reason, but should´ t I feel that way when im alone ALL the friggin time
Here is some facts:
Im 17 years old still a virgin
I dont have any friends left
Im already a drunk and a burnout
And I have been unemployed for 7 months.

Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future.
What should i do
Give me a reason why I should stick around..


And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares :(
 
breakthecycle said:
So here goes i wanted to post on this site for a long time, but i just never founded the right words to say.

Poor English sry.

Since im drunk yes i got drunk all alone. Cuz thats the only time i fell alive besides that i just feel like a useless white meat without any future or hope.

Today i called my old buddies and told them how i felt. And told em how much im disappointed about them. That they never called or cared about my life. Pathetic? sure thing.
But what do you want me do to? Be strong and pretend that everything is all right. When the truth is that i want to commit suicide 24/7. And all I can think about is the past and what i did wrong back then,.

I may have suicide thoughts for no reason, but should´ t I feel that way when im alone ALL the friggin time
Here is some facts:
Im 17 years old still a virgin
I dont have any friends left
Im already a drunk and a burnout
And I have been unemployed for 7 months.

Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future.
What should i do
Give me a reason why I should stick around..


And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares :(
I will be a great freind to you if you'd like.
Alchoholism is very scary to me. And you're only 17.
So young.
Im here if you need me, remember that.;)
 
Hi. Seventeen and a virgin. Sounds like a good way to avoid catching something nasty. Everything comes to he who waits.
How would you like to help me?
I put lonely into Google for much the same reason as you, sitting drinking and feeling sorry for myself.
Now I have found this forum but have no idea what to do with it. I really am a granddad, and as it is in the west my family has grown up and away, I still work but find I have a lot of time between the end of the day and sleep, my idea was to find other boring old farts to talk to. But maybe kids (sorry but you are still a kid) might like to bounce of an anonymous older person who won’t judge them by any standards. Of course it might just sound like another pervert on the net? What do you think?
Any answer would be appreciated.
On this forum I am Grandad
My name is Jim
 
Being a virgin definitely isn't a bad thing. I'm 21 and still a virgin and have had opportunities to have sex but choose not to. To me, it's not something to fling around or try to get rid of. Although, I'm a woman so I might have a different view of it than you, but honestly you get my respect for still being a virgin.

As for the whole job front and after high school deal... Right after high school I went to my local community college for a semester and a half before I realized that I wasn't ready yet, so it was straight into a depressing, dead end job at one of the local casinos for the next year and a half. I finally quit after I just couldn't take dealing with hundreds of customers a day, all the never-ending lines, and the rude, nasty people I had to deal with. It's been 7 months since then, and my bank account is starting to severely suffer now which is putting a huge pressure on me as I now know what I want to do and am trying to get into college once again. Most of my other friends/peers are on their last year already so it makes me kinda feel like a loser at some times, but I suppose its better than wasting my money and forcing myself to do something I'm not ready for.

Hang in there.
 
I felt like you at that age, 17. I look back on myself and wish I had done more. Its easy to make conclusions right now like "I'll be alone forever," but give it 10 years and you'll be taring yourself up over it. Suicide is a rough thing. I've known people who did it and thought about it myself, but each time I did I decided to go have fun instead.

There is something that will help, but you probably won't believe me. It's something that virtually ever king, celebrity, and many successful people have utilized as their tool. Professional astrology and numerology. I'm the biggest skeptic mind you, but it helps to take advantage of favorable alignments and avoid unfavorable ones.

My professional report was ridiculously accurate. 150 pages and not a single thing I could dispute. This is mainly self knowledge, but it does help. My significant past transits coincided with real events. Tragedies that might have been avoided had I known what to expect. In truth those who understand numerology are less its slaves then those who don't. You have to know whats likely to happen to fight it.

Basically if theres a cycle or transit that says you could meet a soulmate today, then its a day you need to be active! It's good to be skeptic and you should never rely on such a thing too much, but I'm telling you when done right these are provable science. Mainstream astrology only focuses on the sun sign, but the moon sign is also important. Yes we basically have two signs. The moon is what you want to express, but the sun often doesn't let it come out right.

Trying to follow them can also be fun. Its like being a secret agent on a mission, only the mission is just living your life. Except horoscopes, which are usually bunk. They need to be assessed based on your time and place of birth to really be accurate. The self knowledge is accurate, the influences of what may happen from day to day are opportunities. We have freewill so theres no guarantees.

This and psychology will help you understand more about yourself, the kind of people you attract, what life is trying to teach you, what approach is likely to work. You probably think you know everything about yourself, so did I. Trust me, you don't. And I'm an introspective person who was always thinking about himself.

You're 17 and theres a lot of changes ahead. It seems intimidating and hopeless now, thats because theres 100 things you need to learn about life, job opportunities, and people before you can really start to take control of your direction. Yeah hitting the books is pretty boring, but I'm 27 and wish I had been more focused at your age, and less depressed.
 
Grandad said:
Hi. Seventeen and a virgin. Sounds like a good way to avoid catching something nasty. Everything comes to he who waits.
How would you like to help me?
I put lonely into Google for much the same reason as you, sitting drinking and feeling sorry for myself.
Now I have found this forum but have no idea what to do with it. I really am a granddad, and as it is in the west my family has grown up and away, I still work but find I have a lot of time between the end of the day and sleep, my idea was to find other boring old farts to talk to. But maybe kids (sorry but you are still a kid) might like to bounce of an anonymous older person who won’t judge them by any standards. Of course it might just sound like another pervert on the net? What do you think?
Any answer would be appreciated.
On this forum I am Grandad
My name is Jim

Firstly let me welcome you here Jim. We have a few older ppl here and its good to have you here. You do not come across as a pervert. I don't think a pervert would call them self grandad :) Would kinder give the game away don't ye think?

Well where not all kids on here. Am 33 and well you may still think of me as just out of nappies as well lol A lot do :) But that's OK if you do. No insult well be taken. We do have ppl here a lot older then me as well. You just have to look a bit harder for them.

I don't think its much different to how I found this place ether. Drunk alone and seat at front of my PC looking for some answers.

I did fined some of those answers. Maybe it was from this place IDK. But this place dose make you think about your life in a moor deep way then you other wise would have I think. For me I think that was a good thing.
 
At the begin of my drinking carreer i was partay animal.
Drinking was fun, it was associated with having a good time and I'm usually in a playful mood when
having a good time and don't think too seriouse or get into seriouse discussions.
I nevered drank alone for the longest time.
I at least manage to go to the local bar and drive the bar tender crazy when life was crappy...lol
Hell half the stuff i was burring out when i was drunk didn't really mattered one way or the other.
Heck...i probably said crap i didn't ment to say, half of which i didn't even remember saying.lmao

At the end of my drinking carreer, i started drinkng alone...which was something i thought i never do.
I pounder about that for a while. It wasn't the straw the broke the camel's back...
but to me it was sign that I was having a problem...
Of course i had honeysuckle loads of problems at the time too which kind da made it not as clear.

Anyway...If i felt bad or depressed, then I started injecting a depressent into my system, surely i will feel
more depressed. I like to think I'm smart enough to know that....I did.
So...maybe i was a little crazy making insane decisions.lol
 

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