LonelySutton
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 10, 2014
- Messages
- 721
- Reaction score
- 1
Sometimes I just don't get my life.
Last year, my long time abusive boss was being forced to retire. His replacement, I thought, was a friend. I mean I knew her for 10 years. Sometimes when I would be doing work on a weekend, she would e-mail me and tell me to go home. Her boyfriend was my friend. She told me when she was applying for the job. She is known, and likes to portray, that she is a kind person. She even has a sing song way of talking. That she is an advocate for the under dog. Thinking she was my friend I supported her fully.
I interviewed with her for the job, and I couldn't believe it when she seemed disinterested in me.
I discovered that she had chosen to hire 3 people who, were, nasty people, and not even qualified. Two of those people could retire with a full pension. But instead, chose to hog their job for as long as they could... even though, they weren't all that. I believe she chose them all over me due to pressure from my former nasty boss. But I was most hurt by the idea that they all kept this a secret from me and actively lied to me about what was going on.
I was horribly upset. I realized that she was just another social climber. She wasn't an advocate for the underdog and she had no back bone. She cared more about sucking up to the jerk boss than saving the underdog, me. Any niceness that had come my way was sucking up to my abusive boss. Not only that... the person she picked was a horrible employee and would make things difficult for her. So why pick her? Complete loyalty to someone who didn't deserve it. Not only was she a fake, she was a moron.
I became convinced that everyone didn't like me and that they were trying to get rid of me. I went into a deep spiral. Sure that I either was going to lose my job OR I was going to be put in a job that sucked. I spent 6 months hating the world, and eating myself up 30 lbs. I made financial decisions to prepare.
But in January someone came in and picked me as his employee. It was at this point I started feeling some love. There was an unexpected burst of people clamoring to volunteer to beg this guy to pick me. But in picking me, he had my utter loyalty and there was no way I was going to let anything happen to him. I knew... there would be plenty of nasty people waiting for him to make an error (including my abusive boss) and I was going to make sure that didn't happen. Beyond that... he is kicking it. Doing great himself.
But I pushed him and used all my skills to make him look great.
But also, I wanted it to be clear that it was my abusive boss that made thins difficult in the past. I wanted to prove it was him.
So yesterday I unexpectedly got my review (these things aren't done on a frequent basis) and it was AMAZING!!! Yikes. You have a scale of 1,2,3 with three being the best. Very few people get threes because it costs them extra money in the form of a raise. Also, the review is written by another boss who, I think, isn't my friend.
It was ALL threes. Every category. Wow.. I had to keep opening it and closing it... it was so positive I really couldn't take it... In fact the only way I sort of can deal with it, is by not really focusing too much on it and not reading it.
I am so confused. But happy..
I guess mostly I feel vindicated that I get to prove my former boss was the problem and, my efforts at establishing who *I* really am, are working and people are seeing me.
Last year, my long time abusive boss was being forced to retire. His replacement, I thought, was a friend. I mean I knew her for 10 years. Sometimes when I would be doing work on a weekend, she would e-mail me and tell me to go home. Her boyfriend was my friend. She told me when she was applying for the job. She is known, and likes to portray, that she is a kind person. She even has a sing song way of talking. That she is an advocate for the under dog. Thinking she was my friend I supported her fully.
I interviewed with her for the job, and I couldn't believe it when she seemed disinterested in me.
I discovered that she had chosen to hire 3 people who, were, nasty people, and not even qualified. Two of those people could retire with a full pension. But instead, chose to hog their job for as long as they could... even though, they weren't all that. I believe she chose them all over me due to pressure from my former nasty boss. But I was most hurt by the idea that they all kept this a secret from me and actively lied to me about what was going on.
I was horribly upset. I realized that she was just another social climber. She wasn't an advocate for the underdog and she had no back bone. She cared more about sucking up to the jerk boss than saving the underdog, me. Any niceness that had come my way was sucking up to my abusive boss. Not only that... the person she picked was a horrible employee and would make things difficult for her. So why pick her? Complete loyalty to someone who didn't deserve it. Not only was she a fake, she was a moron.
I became convinced that everyone didn't like me and that they were trying to get rid of me. I went into a deep spiral. Sure that I either was going to lose my job OR I was going to be put in a job that sucked. I spent 6 months hating the world, and eating myself up 30 lbs. I made financial decisions to prepare.
But in January someone came in and picked me as his employee. It was at this point I started feeling some love. There was an unexpected burst of people clamoring to volunteer to beg this guy to pick me. But in picking me, he had my utter loyalty and there was no way I was going to let anything happen to him. I knew... there would be plenty of nasty people waiting for him to make an error (including my abusive boss) and I was going to make sure that didn't happen. Beyond that... he is kicking it. Doing great himself.
But I pushed him and used all my skills to make him look great.
But also, I wanted it to be clear that it was my abusive boss that made thins difficult in the past. I wanted to prove it was him.
So yesterday I unexpectedly got my review (these things aren't done on a frequent basis) and it was AMAZING!!! Yikes. You have a scale of 1,2,3 with three being the best. Very few people get threes because it costs them extra money in the form of a raise. Also, the review is written by another boss who, I think, isn't my friend.
It was ALL threes. Every category. Wow.. I had to keep opening it and closing it... it was so positive I really couldn't take it... In fact the only way I sort of can deal with it, is by not really focusing too much on it and not reading it.
I am so confused. But happy..
I guess mostly I feel vindicated that I get to prove my former boss was the problem and, my efforts at establishing who *I* really am, are working and people are seeing me.
You're so capable and successful! 
