call with family doctor

As arranged, I phoned my family doctor this afternoon to discuss my projected cataract surgery and referral for a personality disorders assessment.

He said he had been unable to reach the eye doctor by phone and had written a one-sentence letter saying I had decided to go ahead with the surgery. I asked, "Now what?" He said, "Now we wait."

I pointed out that we had decided not to get a second opinion because it would take too long. Since we're waiting anyway, I said, why not get a second opinion while waiting? He said, "All right."

On the matter of the mental health assessment, he said he had to write a letter of referral but that it would "take a long time." I'm assuming he meant that getting an appointment for an assessment would take a long time, not him writing the letter.

The eye doctor had said that delaying the cataract surgery would make it "significantly more risky." I'm somewhat concerned that that is exactly what will end up happening.

I briefly felt like I was being penalized for living in Canada and relying on publicly funded health care and not having the wealth to pay for more speedy treatment at a private American clinic, but an American whose grandmother had undergone cataract surgery said her grandmother had also faced significant delays in spite of paying out of pocket, and said the only way to get speedy service even in the US to pay the most expensive clinics 10 times what the treatment is worth. That makes it a bit less bad.

The ativan helped me from freaking out and behaving in maladaptive ways. Overall I'm remaining calm. I don't feel emotionally numb and in fact my emotions seem to be more normal than they've ever been. Earlier today, when I realized that I had forgotten my keys while going out, I rolled my eyes and said "Aw, curseword!" the way a normal person does, but didn't dwell on it or go into extravagant silent rages or let it spoil my outing; I put it out of my mind until I was in the building lobby and then just used the intercom to let my brother know I'd forgotten my keys so he could let me in. Forgetting my keys is something I've almost never done and seems to suggest I _am_ affected by what's hapening, but the ativan is helping me to manage how I deal with it.

Except my ativan prescription runs out after the Monday morning dose. I'll ask for a refill, but my family doctor could be concerned about potential addiction. I might have to phone him again to discuss it. If it's an effective treatment for my mental health issues, which it so far appears to be, then being addicted to it is merely the price I have to pay.

Thanks to all who had enough interest to read this whole rather long post.

I think if you explain to the family doctor that the Ativan is helping you go through with the eye surgery procedure, that he might refill it for you since the cataract surgery is of vital importance to you now. And, let's face it Mickey…if you lived in America, you would have to deal with huge amounts of medical debt because your insurance would try and back out of paying for the cataract surgery and try and make you appeal it a number of times before they would pay (if you were lucky). Medicine, while good in America and lucrative for medical personelle, is not good for the consumer's pocketbook or sanity. You're getting it done with less hassle. And also in America you would still have to wait months. So, really…don't worry about the penalization feeling you are getting.

Also psychiatrists always take a really long time to get into since there are so few of them. There's a shortage of them in America I know so you at least have to wait a month to be seen. Be patient, it'll happen.