falling back

So lately I thought I had been doing a good job keeping myself in a good mood and keeping myself uplifted enough to keep moving forward.

My job is going well, currently on break for college and doing pretty well in my wrestling (pro-wrestling) even getting complimented by big name people.

But like most people from time to time I get lonely. Being 22 and never having a girlfriend really gets you. And I've tried really really hard to change that. I tried talking to alot of people, hanging out with more people and their extended network (which in the end just makes me feel more left out.) I've tried dating sites and never ever even get past a few messages (plus they make me feel pathetic)

And lately I finally found a girl and started talking to her. I thought all was going good I saw the signs and even my friends where saying go for it so I took the jump and asked her out. Obviously I got the NO and it really brought me down a few notches.

I felt like I was doing everything right and headed in the right direction but I still end up like them all. I never get the chance to even prove myself. It happens everytime I get to know a girl I go to ask them out and i get rejected. Not even a date. Not even a chance to prove that I could be worth their time.

And this is why I'm here today. Not because of rejection I'm use to yhat. I'm just starting to get down again bc I'm never given the chance. And I can't help but think why. And loneliness sinks in and why becomes well I'm just not good enough or I'm just to ugly or I'm meant to be alone forever. I know these thoughts are wrong but they hit hard sometimes.

I try talking to friends about this and I get "oh your just not trying hard enough. Or it'll come you just have to wait" I'm sorry but I have waited. Most people have had kids by my age I don't even have the pleasure of saying I held hands with a girl before. And I try i try really really hard.

And when I ask my friends to help me, maybe by trying to blind date me or hook me up they say they will but I never hear of it again. But when they need "some" they'll hop online for 20 minutes and be hanging out with someone in a few hours. Not saying I want that but a little effort would be gracious.

Ultimately I'm saying loneliness sucks, big time, and it sure is making me sink right back to depression again.

shawn81 said:

Most people have had kids by my age

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No they don't. Perhaps the ones you know, but I do not believe that 'most people' fall into that category.
Some people do, but that's often because they met someone in high school. And many of those relationships don't end up lasting.
Most people are still single at your age (you are still very young), and many are even in your same position, not having been with anyone. Others may have been with people before, but what does that really matter if they aren't currently with someone now? Having held hands or kissed someone in the past doesn't make someone less lonely now.

So do yourself a favor and alter your perspective on that issue. It might help.

shawn81 said:

Ultimately I'm saying loneliness sucks, big time, and it sure is making me sink right back to depression again.

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Besides your low self esteem and possible desperation, do you know factually why women don't give you a chance? Do they ever tell you?

Maybe you're 'trying too hard'. Maybe you're scaring them away because you're wanting too hard to be with someone, rather than allowing it to happen naturally.
Or maybe they can sense your low self esteem. Mostly women don't want a guy who is either too arrogant nor self-depecating. Most of the time they want a guy who has a strong will and some passion for living. Low self-esteem can really destroy that perception, which certainly does not help your chances any.
Or maybe there is something else. Maybe it's just that you haven't met the right girl yet. It does happen. Just keep looking and work on yourself in the meantime.
No need to get depressed, don't look at yourself as if everyone else is better off. Look at things factually and realistically and understand that many people are in your same position and more often than not you just haven't met the right person yet.

And let me just add this, as I think it is relevant, but I once went to wedding for a guy who was in his 60's. No one who knew him ever thought he would get married. No one probably even thought he was looking. But he did find someone and they seem very happy together.
I'm not suggesting you'll be 60 when you get married, but I just want to put this into perspective. How you're still 40 years off from that point and you've got plenty of time to still meet the right person, or even the right people. You're still very young and have your entire life ahead of you, remember that.
And you know what? Even if you it takes you 40 years to find the right person, know that every one of those years will be worthwhile if it means being with someone you love and getting to catch up on all the things you missed with that person during those 40 years. It is a good thing either way. Screw depression!

Just keep looking and don't give up.
And taking a break every once in a while doesn't hurt, either. Sometimes you need to take some time and stop looking to figure things out. Take things at your own pace, it's your life. Don't let what others do, or don't do, drag you down.