about parents

I'll be concise, as always.

Basically, for as long as I can remember, my parents have had the ultimate say in whatever I do, from the most trivial thing, to for example a decision about my career (just once).

The thing is, I'm now 25, and I still can't seem to make my point get across. And everytime, I give up as I want to avoid unnecesary fights, especially given that getting along has always posed not few troubles.

Is anyone in the same situation? What is your opinion on this?

NB: I have tried "talking" but it's kinda difficult, especially when you talk with people who believe they are always right and that (rightfully) say they've got more experience.

Wayfarer said:

The thing is, I'm now 25, and I still can't seem to make my point get across. And everytime, I give up as I want to avoid unnecesary fights, especially given that getting along has always posed not few troubles.

Is anyone in the same situation? What is your opinion on this?

NB: I have tried "talking" but it's kinda difficult, especially when you talk with people who believe they are always right and that (rightfully) say they've got more experience.

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I'm sort of in the same position. Sometimes I get into arguments like yesterday, but for the most part I try to avoid it. I try to keep my mouth shut, especially because I do understand that sometimes I am also partially to blame. Not only that but yeah, like you said. "Talking" is difficult when you can't get a word in, so I've decided it's not worth it.

Do you live with your parents? If so, this makes things harder because they are there all the time and you don't have much space to make your own choices in. Maybe you could look into moving out if you are still with them.
If you have moved out, could you either avoid talking about anything which they might want to influence you in or, if they do start lecturing you about what to do, smile and be polite, then decide for yourself what to do?

Tiina63 said:

Do you live with your parents? If so, this makes things harder because they are there all the time and you don't have much space to make your own choices in. Maybe you could look into moving out if you are still with them.
If you have moved out, could you either avoid talking about anything which they might want to influence you in or, if they do start lecturing you about what to do, smile and be polite, then decide for yourself what to do?

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Actually I live alone. And while I'm alone there's virtually no problem. The real problem is when I come back once in a while or for the holidays.

EDIT: it's just that I'd like to avoid lying or omitting things. It's sad really.

My opinion is that you don't have to convince your parents to see life as you do.

Wayfarer, I have had to deal with my parents making decisions for how I live my life, my entire life and have had to live with it even after my father passed away.

I gave up my dreams of becoming a writer to teach. This cost me 9 years of my life. I got out of it after 9 years and my mother still wants me to live the way she sees best. If not, it means I'm defiant and it means I'd hurt her. Which is the last ever thing I would want to do, or could bring myself to do. Sigh... sorry I don't have good advice here but just wanted to say that I can kinda relate. Good luck, though.

ladyforsaken said:

Wayfarer, I have had to deal with my parents making decisions for how I live my life, my entire life and have had to live with it even after my father passed away.

I gave up my dreams of becoming a writer to teach. This cost me 9 years of my life. I got out of it after 9 years and my mother still wants me to live the way she sees best. If not, it means I'm defiant and it means I'd hurt her. Which is the last ever thing I would want to do, or could bring myself to do. Sigh... sorry I don't have good advice here but just wanted to say that I can kinda relate. Good luck, though.

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I understand. Yeah, the last thing I want to do is to hurt them. Thanks for sharing. Good luck to you too.