I'm just wondering because I grew up listening to music like metal and deathcore. I was about no older than 11 when I started listening to it. I don't know why but me and metal just clicked very well but now I'm wondering can music really make you who you are today or who you are only has to do with the experiences you go through?
Can Music Really Make You Who You Are?
- Thread starter Shio
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TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I think your experiences and your mindset makes you who you are. Music might play a small part in it (such as if you choose to follow the metal trends), but I don't see how listening to metal would define you.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Shio said:
Circumstances can do that to you, but it's never too late to turn it around.
I suppose not but I know I won't be able to do anything until I get a job and enough money to move into my own apartment away from family members. It's one thing when people are out to get you but it's another thing when your own parent is out to tear you down.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Shio said:
I think that ultimately, you decide who you are. But I do believe that what you decide to consume and what you identify with can shape you somewhat.
I guess the questions you have to ask yourself are, do you still enjoy listening to metal and deathcore? Do you want to keep listening to it, or not? Do you feel like it is adding to your life, or taking away from it?
Personally, I have had some music changes over the years. I used to listen to a lot of angry political bands that would sing about how the government and corporations and rich people are all screwing us over, and I used to like that stuff because I felt like they were singing about exactly what I was feeling. Now, though, while I still feel that is at least somewhat true, I prefer not to be reminded of it all the time - in fact I'd like to forget it as much as possible - and especially when I am doing something for enjoyment, like listening to music. I just feel it's actually disempowering and not helping anything to listen to bands who are just angry and complaining all the time, and I do feel that in some way it contributed to my pessimistic thought loops. So, while I still like punk music, I tend to stick to the stuff that is more introspective and about life. And I wound up giving away the stuff that I felt was too angry or too political. I just didn't enjoy it anymore.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Sometimes I relate situations or experiences to music. Like there's this one song I used to always listen to when I was in the bus going to school. Now every time I hear that song, it brings me back to that memory. Or songs that I relate to memories of my father. Or my old friends. It doesn't make me who I am, it just associates to situations and people for me. I do use music to express my emotions too sometimes, it helps in some ways. And I listen to a wide variety of genres of music.
What are your parents doing that's tearing you down?
Shio said:
What are your parents doing that's tearing you down?
TheSkaFish said:
Hmmm...I think so. I still do listen to metal and deathcore but I do feel part of the reason I started listening to it in the first place was because I was depressed and angry and the music was the only thing that understood. I was depressed for over 4 years and I just got out of it this year by myself without telling anyone or taking medication. The same music I listened to during my depressed/angsty days I still listen to today. I like listening to it but maybe part of the reason I still listen to it is because it's kind of all I have and a reminder of who I used to be. I'm not saying I liked being depressed but without it...it's like a part of who I am is gone and I find myself incapable of thinking overly negative thoughts.
ladyforsaken said:
Parent. Just my mom. I don't think I could handle having a father too. I don't know...it seems that most of the time she's out to destroy my self esteem which is already nearly non existent, my will to live and wanting to be independent. Very rarely does she behave. Most of the time she starts arguments over very small stuff and she says very hurtful things, doesn't care that it's hurtful and never apologizes. I don't really expect her to change because she thinks she's perfect and the same things she does now she did when I was little. She's not as emotionally abusive as she was when I was a child but she still is pretty bad. The only thing that keeps me calm is blocking out everything she says and everything that goes on at home. Doing so is kind of bad cause I feel I'm in a semi conscious because of that. She's actually so bad that me and my older sister hardly go near her. We see her we go the opposite way. If she's in the kitchen we don't go in there even if we are hungry. So yeah...I just want to move out to have a less stressful home life. There is other things she does that just isn't acceptable but that is a big part of it. Pleasse don't be like "Sit down and talk to your mom." cause trust me I tried and all she does is yell and yell and yell for so long by the time she's finished I just want to go to my room.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Shio said:
I see. That's unfortunate you have to live with a mother who's like that. I'm sorry it hasn't been easy for you. Moving out and living on your own surely does sound like the best option here and you'd know your situation best. It's amazing how you have put up with this behaviour all your life and still are up on your own two feet. Keep going, and working towards getting away. I think it would do you and your sister a whole lot good and you can then perhaps move on with your lives without being beat down and torn apart by her. I wish you all the best.
mickey said:
I guess I should've been more clear with my post. What I meant to say is when you're little your mind can easily absorb what's going on around you, including what you're listening to. What I am asking is if you listen to negative music at a very young age is it possible that the negative messages in the music can be absorbed into your psyche and affect your behavior?
I don't believe music defines you as much as you give definition to the music. People tend to choose music based on relation to it. Your experiences in life, no matter what age, can give meaning to everything else you interact with. If you are upset, then you may be drawn more to music that has undertones of pain, misery, anger, etc.. That is because the words or even the feelings from it are something you can relate to. It's difficult to like a music genre if you have nothing in common with it or can't derive some sort of emotion from it. Music is a fantastic way to harness our emotions and release them in a positive way. While some of the subject matter may come across as negative, it actually awakens your mind and helps you become aware of the emotions you are experiencing. People who are unaware are the ones who are at more risk.
