Not getting a response from people

The last few weeks or so I'm not getting a response from people when I contact them. It's on my skype, or by text message. Always seems to be the same now, no reply.

They are always around their phones and logged in to skype as 'online' so they are obviously not busy.

It makes me feel like I've somehow done something wrong by trying to talk to people.

Does this happen to anybody else? If so, how does it make you feel?

How many people are we talking about here? Anyways most people I know use the status "online" even when they're not. If anything, the strange thing is that they don't reply to you afterwards, when they're free.
Do you know these people well?

About 6 or 7 people.

One hasn't bothered to reply to me like 8 times in the last few weeks so I'm giving up on this person now.

The others I was talking to almost daily on skype, I know them quite well but they are all now like this.

and now somebody I recently started to hang around in person with didn't bother to text me back, and still hasn't, so it's like here we go again...

Well, I don't know.
Some people don't like to receive message very frequently, and may stop answering if you send too many in a short period of time or if you seem crazy or obsessed or similar.
Maybe they are just very busy, and maybe you send them messages during their work hours?
Or they simply don't think your messages are important

On a side note, sometimes in my experience, people don't answer if your messages are too long (but then again, their fault) or maybe just like "good morning" or similar.

Anyways don't blame yourself. They should tell you if you've done something to upset them and in that case them not answering would just be childish behavior.

Maybe try and give them time, if you care about them, and see what the problem was.

Yes, it happened to me quite a few times. But I also did that sometimes. In my case it's because I'm strange and sometimes I needed time alone and shut myself away from everyone.

This happens to me all the time. It got to me so much that eventually I decided I wouldn't make replying to the worst offenders a priority anymore. Annoys the hell out of them.

It's happens quite a lot to me.
If I don't get a reply from somebody, I won't bother again with them.
Let them come to me if they want to.

Triple Bogey said:

Let them come to me if they want to.

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I say the same. My reason is different though. I don't mind talking to anyone, and usually reply and get replies, but I hate the feeling as though I'm bothering someone. So I tend not to really message first. There's only a handful of people that I would ever message at any time and never feel like I'm bothering them - or don't care that I'm bothering them. Everyone else though... I dislike feeling like I'm interrupting their day.

VanillaCreme said:

I say the same. My reason is different though. I don't mind talking to anyone, and usually reply and get replies, but I hate the feeling as though I'm bothering someone. So I tend not to really message first. There's only a handful of people that I would ever message at any time and never feel like I'm bothering them - or don't care that I'm bothering them. Everyone else though... I dislike feeling like I'm interrupting their day.

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Me too! People I know always make me feel like I'm imposing on them, even if it's just a simple hello. It makes even potentially communicating with them a chore.

Thanks for all the replies. Glad to see I'm not the only one, but unhappy you also have to put up with this too.

For the record, I don't write nothing that appears too long, or act in any way clingy.

Meh, I'll just let them message me, and take as long as they take to reply, right back at them. If they take a week, I'll take a week!

LonesomeLoner said:

Meh, I'll just let them message me, and take as long as they take to reply, right back at them. If they take a week, I'll take a week!

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Welcome to the dark side.

LonesomeLoner said:

Meh, I'll just let them message me, and take as long as they take to reply, right back at them. If they take a week, I'll take a week!

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I understand the frustration that must come with the situation, but that sort of tit for tat attitude on it probably isn't ideal. Treat people how you want to be treated. And if you treat them as a low priority, when you get it back, there's no room for complaining. Do as you wish, but I'm just saying.

I'm sorry this is happening. It's happened to me plenty of times and I try not to take it personally anymore. Sometimes people have a bad day or think you'll call instead of text if it's important. I've gone months without seeing or hearing from a friend but when I finally pushed him into meeting up, he was complete silent, drained and not fun to be around. Other times, people get snappy or complain because they feel they are doing you a huge favor by answering. Best to be around someone when they want to engage.

Also, don't try to be too pushy or read into things too much. I've been on the opposite end of that and it feels burdensome. It's hard to see the other side. My sibling will yell at me for not returning her call or being slow in my texts while sometimes I don't hear from her for a week after I originally contact her.

Move on, get busy, and the lack of a response will jar less. But check in every once in a while on the relationships you don't want to simply fade away over time. It can be something like this link made me think of you, hope you're well. These communications don't require a response, but it lets people know you are thinking of them.

As many have said, don't take it personally. Most of the time people have various reasons for not answering, including that it was just day not a good or a week for them. And they do have lives outside of skype and texting on their phones, so it's easy to get caught up and not answer. An 'online' status doesn't actually signify anything.
I don't think you should hold a grudge against people just for that reason and avoid calling or contacting them because of it or do the same to them just because you feel they are doing it intentionally. It's not really important enough to get that upset over.

LonesomeLoner said:

The last few weeks or so I'm not getting a response from people when I contact them. It's on my skype, or by text message. Always seems to be the same now, no reply.

They are always around their phones and logged in to skype as 'online' so they are obviously not busy.

It makes me feel like I've somehow done something wrong by trying to talk to people.

Does this happen to anybody else? If so, how does it make you feel?

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So you feel kinda angsty whenever this thing happens. I could totally relate.

But imagine if this happens between you and your children which is the case with me.

It's so much more personal so it's so much more upsetting.

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edamame721 said:

I'm sorry this is happening. It's happened to me plenty of times and I try not to take it personally anymore. Sometimes people have a bad day or think you'll call instead of text if it's important. I've gone months without seeing or hearing from a friend but when I finally pushed him into meeting up, he was complete silent, drained and not fun to be around. Other times, people get snappy or complain because they feel they are doing you a huge favor by answering. Best to be around someone when they want to engage.

Also, don't try to be too pushy or read into things too much. I've been on the opposite end of that and it feels burdensome. It's hard to see the other side. My sibling will yell at me for not returning her call or being slow in my texts while sometimes I don't hear from her for a week after I originally contact her.

Move on, get busy, and the lack of a response will jar less. But check in every once in a while on the relationships you don't want to simply fade away over time. It can be something like this link made me think of you, hope you're well. These communications don't require a response, but it lets people know you are thinking of them.

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I liked your response. It was so levelheaded.

However, I'm often confronted with the reality that technology has unwittingly resulted in disassociation among people rather than connection.

Too many gadgets. Too much social media. But too little time.

Quantity versus quality.

I really get the 'not getting a response from people' thing. I understand the frustration too. Right now I have a couple of friends who have decided to switch off from me totally. There are reasons for this that I think are down to competitiveness or insecurity. I'm not being competitive however. It's hurtful when they are my closest friends, although they are not anymore. Even on fb they like everyone else's posts and not mine, it's so weird. I have plenty of other people liking my posts, but these 'close' friends are not doing it, it's really hurtful. No phone calls, no 'how're you doing?' etc.

I understand the frustration because we are always told to contact others, make connections, etc, but after a while you realise that it's all one sided. Now I'm giving what I get. I don't agree with this approach all the time, but for me, with these people I just have to be like this now. I feel I've given so much already that I'm drained. And now that I only give what I get, I'm getting nothing at all.

Still, I remind myself that not all people are like that, there are good people in the world as well.

I'm kind of the opposite.....I haven't responded to some messages in my inbox, email, skype, and facebook for a while now. I feel bad because I don't want to communicate disinterest to these people, but I have been feeling very anxious lately, and when I get like that, I just get too anxious to talk. I feel like I would screw up the conversation, like I'd leave something out, or make a fool of myself, or just not put my best foot forward and give this person the best conversation I could give. I wind up telling myself, "I'll reply to it tomorrow".

VanillaCreme said:

I understand the frustration that must come with the situation, but that sort of tit for tat attitude on it probably isn't ideal. Treat people how you want to be treated. And if you treat them as a low priority, when you get it back, there's no room for complaining. Do as you wish, but I'm just saying.

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This, and he also said, "If someone asks for your coat, give then also your cloak." You cannot serve God and Mammom. Problem is, 99% of the world is about serving Mammon. Be willing to give of yourself and your time, and it isn't just these times. "He that has found a friend has a found a treasure," It has ALWAYS been like this. People serve their idols, and money is what talks.

I did get some messages, but I wasn't online for many days, and didn't know anyone had written me, until it was too late.

My approach is that I do not waste my time investing in people who will not invest in me. There is a point of reciprocity. If it isn't there, then move on. But, also give allowances for the fact that we all have other commitments in life too.

I'm in on this too....on both sides of the issue. I've neglected to continue a dialogue until I have something 'relevant' enough or witty enough to say, and then the delay drags on too long. My bad.

Also, my personal fragile ego can get bruised when someone else doesn't reply to me....then I start wondering, did they drop me? Did I say something wrong? Again, my bad to make too much of an issue of things.

I suppose the way to go is try to mean well, don't take offense too easily and whatever else one does, don't make anything worse.

It was happening to me, but then I moved on from them. The few acquaintances that I do have and keep an open dialogue with know not to do that with me. They know when I do contact, text, or reach out to them, its not on a constant (mindless) basis. They know when I contact them, they know its meaningful and/or important and they also know I don't waste there time nor do I want my time wasted. So if they value my companionship or input on matters important to them they get back to me sometime that day. If they don't I know immediately there not worth a **** and I never deal with them ever again. I don't deal with flakes or fakes.

I don't deal with maybes or perhaps if was because of this or that.
Believe it or not, most people even at there most busiest make ALWAYS make time to respond back even if its just to say "I'm busy, I'll get back to you in a bit or later" only takes seconds to say right? Believe me, they are ignoring you because to them you are not even worth a few seconds of there time, or your value is not high enough to warrant immediate attention.

People like that.... I say dump them. Just my thought.

My philosophy on this is... We don't have to be true loyal friends to have a certain level of respect and decorum for one another. To have my thoughts or involvement on anything you will respect me and my time, as I do for yours.