How Has This Forum Helped You?

This forum has been around for a while so I'm wondering...how has this site helped any of you? Like..have you met someone to help with loneliness, depression or anything else you were dealing with? I'm new and interested in how this site has helped others.

Well, it hasn't helped me just yet...

Maybe I'm just too bad at asking things :shy:

I found someone really special from here... I never thought in million years that I could find someone so amazing. Also I've found countless of great people with good hearts, who are willing to listen and support.

This forum and others before it have helped me. Before the days of the internet I thought it was only me.
I was the only one who couldn't get a date. I was the only guy who got laughed at or ignored by women.

- Made some really amazing friends here, some I've even met in person.
- Met some really special people here.
- Kept me sane during some parts of my life, it was a place I called my cyber home cos I find comfort in being here, the posts and the people can be quite comforting and nice.
- Enjoyed the games section at some point, when I used to get involved very regularly. Not so much now though.
- Learned a lot of things, had a lot of experiences (both good and bad), and learning about other people's perspectives and experiences.

That's all I can think of for now.

There are some wonderful, amazing people I've met on here, for whom I will be eternally grateful whatever may happen. Talking to them has certainly helped.

It was a good place to vent for awhile, but it doesn't really feel like a home. I did make one close friend I talk to about writing and play games with, who introduced me to a crowd he plays games with. now, if only we'd all be online and avoiding latency at the same times consistently...

This forum taught me one valuable lesson: that lonely people do not form common cause on the issue of loneliness. In my experience it's extremely rare for anyone to find their new best friend on here, let alone something like a partner in life. The Networking subforum comes across largely as a wasteland because most requests for contact outside public messages on this forum go ignored, and the few separate private conversations that start tend to peter out. I actually feel sorry for the many newcomers who join this forum in order to stop being lonely, because real life just doesn't work that way. In the end most of us on this forum are just clusters of pixels to each other and we all remain in our own solitudes. So that's one valuable lesson I've learned from being on here.

Another valuable lesson is that loneliness does not discriminate. Before I came here, I expected lonely people all to be socioeconomically marginalized, but the membership here also includes some people who come across as establishment insiders with piles of money and perspectives that sound like press releases and TV commercials, yet they're lonely too or they wouldn't be here.

The third valuable lesson I learned is that someone in a position of power doesn't have to be nice in order to be competent. The staff here come across as abrasive and unpleasant, even when responding to my requests for advice, but I have no complaints about the technical side of how they manage the forum, beyond a limited amount of favoritism toward some members.

The fourth valuable lesson is that there are many different varieties of loneliness, and I don't share them all, nor does everyone else share all of mine. I have trouble relating to young men who pine for their first girlfriend, but I can understand people who have to move a piano and have absolutely no one to help them lift the weight. Both are types of loneliness and both are equally valid.

I met few people on here who became friends, clashed with others...sometimes both. What I've learned is that the outside world and this little segment of the internet are not as different as some newcomers (like I was back then) might imagine it to be. The rules of engagement are the same. You always reap what you sow. Has it helped me to fight loneliness? Nah, I wasn't fighting it actively in the first place. But I came to terms with my expectations towards people out there and myself. Mostly this place provides a way to self-reflect and to stay in touch with reality for me. And of all the forum themes, loneliness is still the one closest to the perpetual state of disconnection I find myself in.

It's damnable pretentious to quote yourself, but when I was still new that's what I wrote in a thread where folks talked about feeling left out on here...and my mindset hasn't changed much since then.

Only a small minority will actually engage new folks without any input. But you can't rely on these people alone. And even if you give some sort of information about yourself - what you do for a living, the things you're into, etc. - there are no guarantees this will make you eligible to get in touch with everyone. You can't be everybody's friend. We are still a mixture of different human beings with a wide spectrum of interests and personalities. Even within the boundaries of common loneliness.

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Shio said:

This forum has been around for a while so I'm wondering...how has this site helped any of you? Like..have you met someone to help with loneliness, depression or anything else you were dealing with? I'm new and interested in how this site has helped others.

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It's given me a place to speak out my thoughts and fears that I don't want to keep in my head, yet have no one to talk to them about. I live at home but can't really talk to my family about this because I don't think they would quite understand. And I don't want to wear my friends out with it, because a lot of the time, it's the same problems over and over. I'm sorry if my posts are tiresome at times, but I don't direct them at anyone in particular. Sometimes I just have to get it off my chest. Sometimes it's nice to get a pick-me-up when things are going wrong and feeling overwhelming. I'm wise enough to know that pity parties don't work, but at the same time, it's nice to see that people relate. It feels that I'm...well, less alone.

Also, it has helped me learn a bit too about how to handle things and how to be a little more positive. And there are some people on here that I've gotten to know over the months, and I want to stay in touch.

It gave me someone to talk to, back when I felt no one would care to talk with me. I discovered I wasn't as weird as I sometimes suspected. Very different people can get lonely or isolated for very different reasons.

And maybe most surprising, I've met more messed up people in real life, than I met on here. It's the great people I've gotten to know here that's made me stay.

For me it's been mostly the community in the chat room that made a difference though, with notable exceptions.

A forum like this won't change your life, but if you're lucky you'll have some company while you figure out what to do and where to go.

It has helped OY remember to change his sheets and take out the trash.

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As for me, I find it difficult. I seem to be more insecure here than in real life; People on here seem to dislike me because of my hyperactivity and my talkativeness. All I really want is people to talk to though, but I feel silly to say that people don't like me. Maybe I'm imagining it. Or maybe not. I was gone for a while and it wasn't like anyone missed me. So, I guess, for me I can find people to talk to at evenings but I wouldn't say that I feel like I'm part of something.

Shio said:

This forum has been around for a while so I'm wondering...how has this site helped any of you? Like..have you met someone to help with loneliness, depression or anything else you were dealing with? I'm new and interested in how this site has helped others.

Click to expand...

I am very happy and grateful to say that I have been helped a lot since I have been here. Like with all things I expected no one to like me when I got here and did not expect to be accepted.

I am happy to say that I have made some friends in here but so far I have not been accepted. I can't have everything.

There is one person here with a wealth of knowledge who I am convinced is one of the smartest people I've ever talked to and she has been a great help. She can give advice but I have to be the one to try to act on it. That's what I have been doing and that is why I am very grateful.

I'm learning to take risks and to not be afraid of saying what I think. On the forum, if one person thinks my comment is silly, another later will think it's useful, so I'm learning not to judge myself so harshly. I'm learning alot about communicating in the chat room too. It is wonderful to have people actually respond to me and include me in a conversation. Just to be seen and acknowledged is like a miracle. Maybe I can learn to carry these things with me in my life.

On this forum i found someone who i think of as my best friend.

I have more confidence in myself from friendship and understanding and advice i recieve.

And George Orwell was correct.All animals are equal,but some (pigs)are more equal than others.