Really the subject has much ado with nothing. I was just thinking up a clever way to say that I walk through life, often alone, with a great deal of melancholy. Nice to meet you all, I'm Kiwi.
I have a weird sort of circumstance about me. I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder. I don't leave my house. So that's why despite having time I simply don't make friends. People scare me. Some days even online interaction is extremely difficult. Which is why I keep my friendships online, where I can avoid people on those days when I just need to be alone.
However the anxiety also makes it difficult to meet people online and form friendships. I'll make a few friends through hobbies and then everyone's hobby changes and we lose touch because I'm not as likely to follow people all over the web. Considering how difficult it is for me to start up something new and actually socialize I end up alone for very long periods of time before I luck out and happen to make friends again. At this point I really have no one to talk to. It's depressing.
I can usually interact fairly well in messages or on forums because I have the opportunity of replying, taking my time, or simply reading. Live group chat doesn't work well for me, but I do alright with one on one. I get nervous when more than one person is talking at a time. That is unless I know the majority of the people. Strangely enough that is when I become a social butterfly and the center of attention. As I said from the start, I'm weird.
I suppose I should give some details about me-me. Kiwi is my nickname that I actually go by in real life. I'm 32 and live in Florida. I'm married with 1 1/2 children. I say half because I'm pregnant with the second one. She is actually due August 3rd so I might be rather scarce for a few weeks despite being new around here. You may wonder why I'm so lonely and have no one to talk to if I'm married. He works around 12 hours a day, so I'm lucky if I even see him, let alone get to spend time with him lol. So that leaves me with my two cats for company.
I'm in college working on my Master's degree in Psychology. I take courses online because of the anxiety issues, and I promise I'm not here to psych you. I actually specialize in neuropsychology so it's more based around the physical workings of the brain than anything else. I'm on break from college for the next year though, needed some time off for the new baby.
I'm a 3D artist and content creator, though due to depression I have been ignoring artwork and 3D modeling for a year...or two. I just recently got back into it. Im mostly a horror artist so my moods really do help with it but the urge to create isn't there when I'm down. So it's a losing battle. Ummmm... I'm a gamer. Everything from consoles and handhelds to tabletop and the pc. I used to spend a lot of time in virtual worlds like Second Life when I had nothing else to play or simply needed some social interaction.
I like all the things everyone else does. Music, movies, books, etc. I'm very talkative when given a big white box to write in, but I also listen well. I love to laugh and I'm an awful flirt. My sense of humor is sometimes perverse and I swear often, but I have manners and know how to conduct myself in a forum
I can be silly one moment to adulting the next. That is mostly due to my particular lifestyle though. Things I love: nature, animals, the rain, darkness, poetry, mystery, horror,etc .
I think that's more than spammy enough for an intro. So I hope no one is as scared to talk to me as I am of all of you lol.
I have a weird sort of circumstance about me. I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder. I don't leave my house. So that's why despite having time I simply don't make friends. People scare me. Some days even online interaction is extremely difficult. Which is why I keep my friendships online, where I can avoid people on those days when I just need to be alone.
However the anxiety also makes it difficult to meet people online and form friendships. I'll make a few friends through hobbies and then everyone's hobby changes and we lose touch because I'm not as likely to follow people all over the web. Considering how difficult it is for me to start up something new and actually socialize I end up alone for very long periods of time before I luck out and happen to make friends again. At this point I really have no one to talk to. It's depressing.
I can usually interact fairly well in messages or on forums because I have the opportunity of replying, taking my time, or simply reading. Live group chat doesn't work well for me, but I do alright with one on one. I get nervous when more than one person is talking at a time. That is unless I know the majority of the people. Strangely enough that is when I become a social butterfly and the center of attention. As I said from the start, I'm weird.
I suppose I should give some details about me-me. Kiwi is my nickname that I actually go by in real life. I'm 32 and live in Florida. I'm married with 1 1/2 children. I say half because I'm pregnant with the second one. She is actually due August 3rd so I might be rather scarce for a few weeks despite being new around here. You may wonder why I'm so lonely and have no one to talk to if I'm married. He works around 12 hours a day, so I'm lucky if I even see him, let alone get to spend time with him lol. So that leaves me with my two cats for company.
I'm in college working on my Master's degree in Psychology. I take courses online because of the anxiety issues, and I promise I'm not here to psych you. I actually specialize in neuropsychology so it's more based around the physical workings of the brain than anything else. I'm on break from college for the next year though, needed some time off for the new baby.
I'm a 3D artist and content creator, though due to depression I have been ignoring artwork and 3D modeling for a year...or two. I just recently got back into it. Im mostly a horror artist so my moods really do help with it but the urge to create isn't there when I'm down. So it's a losing battle. Ummmm... I'm a gamer. Everything from consoles and handhelds to tabletop and the pc. I used to spend a lot of time in virtual worlds like Second Life when I had nothing else to play or simply needed some social interaction.
I like all the things everyone else does. Music, movies, books, etc. I'm very talkative when given a big white box to write in, but I also listen well. I love to laugh and I'm an awful flirt. My sense of humor is sometimes perverse and I swear often, but I have manners and know how to conduct myself in a forum
I can be silly one moment to adulting the next. That is mostly due to my particular lifestyle though. Things I love: nature, animals, the rain, darkness, poetry, mystery, horror,etc .I think that's more than spammy enough for an intro. So I hope no one is as scared to talk to me as I am of all of you lol.
