Loneliness is killing me.

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Matt L

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I'm 20 years old and I have no friends. I live in a shitty small town with nothing to do and nowhere to go, surrounded by people I can't connect with, i.e insular rednecks. My teen years or the "best years of my life" were a complete waste and I have no one good memory/experience from those years. High school sucked. I've never been to a social gathering with people my age. I've never had any girlfriends. Never been on a date. I'm 20 ******* years old and don't even know what holding hands with a woman feels like. I'm just trying to come to grips with that every girl I'm interested in will never even acknowledge me. I'm an unappealing unnoticeable loser. I recently joined a couple dating sites, found a few girls I liked, one especially. In many ways she's my perfect woman. But of course like reality they don't respond. I'm still waiting on her to reply to my simple "Hello" since monday. I wouldn't respond to me either I guess. My day to day life is going to work at a shitty grocery store, go back home and listen to music on my laptop then go to bed. Occasionally go out to the movies, alone obviously. That's about it. I'm grateful for at least having good parents, roof over my head etc, but there's just no point in life without companionship and especially love, which is what's killing me. I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. Anyway, I know this is long, I just needed to vent.
 
Have you ever considered just moving?

Go from a "shitty small town" to a "not-shitty large city"?

And don't think about women for now. That's a dead end if you aren't happy with your life in other aspects. (Ask any girl)

Grocery store you say? There are grocery stores everywhere, so in a way you can move wherever you want.

It may sound scary, but routine is poison for the brain. Make a change?
 
Welcome to the forum :) Feel free to try out the chat room, if you're interested.

Oldyoung said:
And don't think about women for now. That's a dead end if you aren't happy with your life in other aspects. (Ask any girl)

He's right. If you are depressed or unhappy with your life, it will radiate out so that people are able to see if, even if you think you are hiding it well.
Aside from that, if I just received a message that said "hello" only, I likely wouldn't respond to it. Give me MORE, you know?
How are your standards with the ladies? Are they extremely high, where you only want a girl that's gorgeous and smart and into bowling (Just an example, but you see how I went very specific.) or are you looking at all of the girls? If you have high standards and you were to lower them a good bit, you would have more opportunities.

Like Oldyoung said, have you considered moving or even going to college? I grew up in a small town (population like maybe 600), so I know how it feels to have no options. Do you have nearby towns that are bigger with more things to do?

Lastly, don't be so hard on yourself. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you (yes yes, I know how much people hate to hear that. lol) Figure out what you want out of life and start chasing after it.
 
Hey Matt L , Welcome to the forum! You have come to a place where you can express how you are feeling, what is happening for you. I think you'll find lots of people here who know what you mean.
 
Welcome to the forum Matt L! I don't really have anything new to say here....all the above responses are spot on....

Except maybe in your living situation.....are still in your parents house? At age 20 it's better to have some place of your own, an apartment or something. Perhaps not in the shitty small town.
 
I'll admit I'm kinda shallow but I don't really have that high of standards. Its just she likes most everything I like, which is geeky type of things and she's gorgeous. As for college I just don't know.
 
Matt L said:
I'm 20 years old and I have no friends. I live in a shitty small town with nothing to do and nowhere to go, surrounded by people I can't connect with, i.e insular rednecks. My teen years or the "best years of my life" were a complete waste and I have no one good memory/experience from those years. High school sucked. I've never been to a social gathering with people my age. I've never had any girlfriends. Never been on a date. I'm 20 ******* years old and don't even know what holding hands with a woman feels like. I'm just trying to come to grips with that every girl I'm interested in will never even acknowledge me. I'm an unappealing unnoticeable loser. I recently joined a couple dating sites, found a few girls I liked, one especially. In many ways she's my perfect woman. But of course like reality they don't respond. I'm still waiting on her to reply to my simple "Hello" since monday. I wouldn't respond to me either I guess. My day to day life is going to work at a shitty grocery store, go back home and listen to music on my laptop then go to bed. Occasionally go out to the movies, alone obviously. That's about it. I'm grateful for at least having good parents, roof over my head etc, but there's just no point in life without companionship and especially love, which is what's killing me. I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. Anyway, I know this is long, I just needed to vent.

Hello! Try thinking the best years are yet to come. For a lot of people, their teenage years were the worst ones. Others don't find them until much later (40's or 50's). And forgive the cliche, but at your age you have a lot of time to reach "the best years of your life". Is there anything you enjoy besides listening to music or going to the movies? Any hobbies that are more active, say? Maybe you can pursue those more and find people who enjoy those too.
 
Bro, online dating will make you more depressed. There are more guys and fewer girls in dating sites, so girls get a lot of messages from different guys and they are not bothered to reply unless you make a good impression.

why don't you try to have a little chit chat with girls who come to your grocery store.
 

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