J
JY
Guest
Hello all. My first post. In my opionion I am an average 40+ guy. Looks, build, intelligence, and so on. I had a plethora of friends most of my life. Had a few good relationships also. Over the years my best friends and others all married and moved away. It was like a mass exodus from the state. Hit me hard and did not see it coming.
The comparing notes on motorcycles and custom cars was long gone now. I had the really nice equipment but nobody that really cared. I left my job in a large company for health reasons. (Job was the cause and I am fine) Lost all repore with coworkers.
Then I was stuck,.....homebound for 6 years caring for my mother suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. It was horrible, heartbreaking, and for that period, there was little getting out, or socializing with others. Most knew of my situation but they were busy living life and had no concern for my need of contact. In 2002 my mom lost the battle. Now I was free! No not quite. I had changed, and was suffering from severe social anxiety disorder SAD. Went to Walmart and just had to get out of there, as i could not cope. This was the norm in my life. I started on Wellibutrin XL and it did indeed help.
For the past few years I have been seeing a beautiful woman who I wanted to believe really loved me, and was into me. Deep down I knew the truth but denied it. I was lonely and she eased that pain greatly. Truth was she was in it for the money. Yes I helped in all ways but got little to nothing in return. But I was paying to stop the pain of loneliness even for moment. It has gotten to a point that she is with this great looking dude now but still wants to "hang out" .........we know why. The terrible pain and suffering of loneliness is killing the zest and wonder of life. I look at everything and everyone with jaded eyes. I go in the garage and look and my modified car. I sit on my customized HD. But there is no thrill. No simple gratification of ownership. I am all alone with the machines. No comparing notes, no ideas and no one who really gives a dam. It is hard for me to make friends with my emotional baggage. Women seem to really like me, but there is a lack of connection with people and words just come to hard. I do cry I will admit it. Watch TV shows and there always seems to be groups of people sharing ideas, possessions and life itself. I understand what most of you are going through. Others will say just get out there and mingle with the masses. six years of isolation has done its damage, they do not know.
Well I hope that some of you find a friend(s) to ease and take away this scourge in life called LONELINESS. I really do.
Brian Wilson wrote: "I was sitting in a forum watching all the people there, all the loneliness in this world...well it's just not fair"
Peace
The comparing notes on motorcycles and custom cars was long gone now. I had the really nice equipment but nobody that really cared. I left my job in a large company for health reasons. (Job was the cause and I am fine) Lost all repore with coworkers.
Then I was stuck,.....homebound for 6 years caring for my mother suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. It was horrible, heartbreaking, and for that period, there was little getting out, or socializing with others. Most knew of my situation but they were busy living life and had no concern for my need of contact. In 2002 my mom lost the battle. Now I was free! No not quite. I had changed, and was suffering from severe social anxiety disorder SAD. Went to Walmart and just had to get out of there, as i could not cope. This was the norm in my life. I started on Wellibutrin XL and it did indeed help.
For the past few years I have been seeing a beautiful woman who I wanted to believe really loved me, and was into me. Deep down I knew the truth but denied it. I was lonely and she eased that pain greatly. Truth was she was in it for the money. Yes I helped in all ways but got little to nothing in return. But I was paying to stop the pain of loneliness even for moment. It has gotten to a point that she is with this great looking dude now but still wants to "hang out" .........we know why. The terrible pain and suffering of loneliness is killing the zest and wonder of life. I look at everything and everyone with jaded eyes. I go in the garage and look and my modified car. I sit on my customized HD. But there is no thrill. No simple gratification of ownership. I am all alone with the machines. No comparing notes, no ideas and no one who really gives a dam. It is hard for me to make friends with my emotional baggage. Women seem to really like me, but there is a lack of connection with people and words just come to hard. I do cry I will admit it. Watch TV shows and there always seems to be groups of people sharing ideas, possessions and life itself. I understand what most of you are going through. Others will say just get out there and mingle with the masses. six years of isolation has done its damage, they do not know.
Well I hope that some of you find a friend(s) to ease and take away this scourge in life called LONELINESS. I really do.
Brian Wilson wrote: "I was sitting in a forum watching all the people there, all the loneliness in this world...well it's just not fair"
Peace