"The One" Real or Fake?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

danj210

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2015
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Location
Florida/North Carolina
Something I think about often is what makes the one, the one. Is it only because you're happy or content with the person you're with? How do you know that person is the one without going person to person and seeing what each man or woman does differently than the other? I have a difficult time understanding this. I also have a hard time going girl to girl and telling each one I love them that they are the one, can you tell them that they are not the one but you do love them? I mean not really, that doesn't sound like it would be nice to hear. If I or you find and tell someone that they are the one and they say the same in return but then they leave you, then they aren't the one anymore just because they leave you? How then do you go to the next man or woman and tell them that they are one only because the real one left you? I don't think it would be fair to women if I go woman to women trying to find out if one truly does exist that beats the one that left you that you thought was the real one.

So yea. I have a hard time accepting that I must go girl to girl telling each one I love only to potentially hurt them or get hurt by them while hoping the feelings with them overcome those feelings with the one that left me. I don't think it would be fair to do that to women.

So there's some thoughts I think about often...
 
Danielle said:
You don't have to tell people you love them or that they are the one, if you don't feel it.

That's the thing though. Does one go person to person like this? Is it fair for the other? The only way to know is to commit in the acts that cause development of feelings and if that persons says they love you, say it were me being told they love me but I don't them, that would break me just as hard as me loving them and not being loved back. I don't know how others do it where they can play with peoples hearts because they don't want to be alone waiting to go to the next and not caring whose feelings they hurt.

I think they saying of "the one" or someone for everyone, is just a saying that is told to give others hope even when there may be none or the reality is that love is so patchy that everything you build with another can fall apart over and over again.
 
Very few people actually use the phrase "you are THE one" out loud. If they propose, they might use the phrase, but it's rarely used, IMO in every day life.
My question is, why are you going girl to girl telling them this? Maybe you meant that in general, but that's the way it sounds. As for you saying it and them leaving, just because you feel someone is "the one" for you, doesn't mean that the other person feels the same way. As Dani said, you don't have to tell them you love them and you shouldn't if you don't. THAT will hurt them more than if you stay silent. Just because you don't love them today, doesn't mean you won't love them tomorrow. Telling them something you don't mean is lying to them, which isn't the best way to start a relationship. Date people, find those that you like and see where it goes, but do NOT say I love you if you don't mean it. That's cruel.
 
The "one" is someone who you connect with proficiently on an emotional level, whom you trust emotionally with your heart, and whom you're attracted to sexually.
 
Feelings change over time, people get bored of each other.
I thought I had found "the one" but turns out I'm just "the convenience" now.
I think romantic love is short lived and the 'happily ever after' that Disney
portrays is just a pile of crap. Or maybe I just have not found 'the one' yet.
I have no clue, I'm just going off of experience.

I think we can fall in love with a lot if people, but nothing lasts forever. There is no 'one', there is no 'fate'. And there certainly is no happily ever after.
 
Dandelion said:
Feelings change over time, people get bored of each other.
I thought I had found "the one" but turns out I'm just "the convenience" now.
I think romantic love is short lived and the 'happily ever after' that Disney
portrays is just a pile of crap. Or maybe I just have not found 'the one' yet.
I have no clue, I'm just going off of experience.

I think we can fall in love with a lot if people, but nothing lasts forever. There is no 'one', there is no 'fate'. And there certainly is no happily ever after.

I just wanted to give you a cyber hug. *hugs*
 
Well, there are about 7 billion in this planet after all, which makes me thinking logically that it's not possible to have only ''The One''. Most likely there are many people in this world who are compatible with you in different ways. Also about the questions you asked... I agree with the others, it's cruel to say something what you don't really mean.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top