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Peaches

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This article made me think of ALL, as many of you (also guys) complain that it's difficult to find a relationship with social media and stuff

http://mashable.com/2015/08/24/millennial-sex-online/?utm_cid=mash-com-main-link

After reading it I feel really depressed, and 1000 years old

I mean, no judgement, but it that all there is?

what do you think?


double posting, how do I delete this one? Mods? (jumping up and down) MODS?
 
I think feeling out of touch with my generation has been a hallmark of my life for the past ten years. I mean, I've always been a little odd and never did fit in as a teenager except with my niche group of gamer friends at school, but it's been about ten years that I've specifically not identified as a 'Millennial' in the demographic sense.

Most of 'us' live in cities, or want to, and idealize trendy condos; I moved to Idaho from California, own a house on 5 acres and have never looked back.

Most of 'us' become more technology-saturated as time goes on, and can't live without social media. I've gone the other direction; I've abandoned most contemporary social media, and have drastically less tech-saturation than I did as a teenager in a tech-heavy house.

So on and so forth.

It's easy to read articles like that and get really downtrodden. I have done that plenty and I would say it actually worsened my loneliness and depression when I was struggling with them. But the important thing to remember about these studies and surveys is two fold:

1. Statistics can be manipulated based on sample size and focus
2. Statistics can be reported in a skewed way to favor a point of view.

Regardless, I would hazard a guess that most of us here would fall in the outliers category. But that's okay. I used to think I had to conform to find someone, and tried it for a long time. What I discovered was that I'm too strong-willed for that and wasn't fooling anybody; more importantly, the woman who I would meet and eventually marry -very beautiful, honest, and kind by the way, for everyone who thinks it can't happen- wouldn't have wanted 'that guy' anyways.

My observation is that to get away from the typical demographic, you have to vacate the areas where they live. You need to look for Sandpoint or Kalispell, as opposed to Portland or Seattle. I have to accept that I'm just not going to have all the talked-up benefits of urban life if I don't want to be around urban people. Frankly I'm more than fine with that; the air is cleaner and I don't think I could have a personal shooting range in any of Portland's bedroom communities. My coworker's hip, career-oriented millennial daughter just moved to the tech/liberal bastion of San Francisco. A dream to most people my age...except she's sending back mostly stories about extreme wealth gaps, literal piles of human excrement on the sidewalks (somehow related to rampant public drug use, but I forget how she was explaining it) as a regular sight, and nightmare stories of using public transport.

But the facade is there, and that's what they want, so they can keep it. I do worry for future generations, as I think this is going to get worse; relationships will become more shallow and our lives will become more focused on the instant. The article actually mentions some problems associated with that. There are others. It will certainly be a Brave New World.
 
Dude, Brian!

I also have always felt somewhat out of touch with people my age. Always been the black sheep in my family as well. I feel like I should have been born much sooner than I was. Old soul, they say. I like technology, but most of it is widely unnecessary.
 
We'll probably end up in a Logan's Run-type situation rather than Brave New World. Hopefully without 70's hairdos, though.
 
That was me with I was 15. I was a man-whore extradanaire and would nail anything with... Well, you know. And I didn't care. It felt good and for that period of time (I don't like quickies..) I actually had someone who was all over me.
But somewhere along the lines (probably late 19 or early 20) I just lost something. Not the sex, I still got that. But I didn't just want to be a sex toy anymore. I mean it's great, don't get me wrong, but I got tired of being nothing more then a three hour ride and nothing after. I want to mean something - to lay there after and talk about us and what's next and what we're having for dinner or whatever. I can't seem to find it.
So now here I am at 21 and it's been what... two months since I've had sex? Something that at 15 to 19 I was sure I would die because like hell I could a day without it. Well, maybe. Maybe two.
And I hang out with people my age and it's like looking back at me then all over again and I just can't get into it. So I seem like a stuck up prick but life isn't a fun and sex anymore. Now everything has to mean so much and it's really ******* annoying because everyday I think about what I can't have and it gets depressing.
It getting harder and harder to deal with it when you get left on your on again.
I don't know how to love someone and I can't seem to find someone to stay around long enough to teach me.
 
I installed Tinder recently for the hell of it. Got matches with some really attractive girls but none seem to reply to me except one who did for a little bit. Other than that I've just got replies from bots.
 
Paraiyar said:
I installed Tinder recently for the hell of it. Got matches with some really attractive girls but none seem to reply to me except one who did for a little bit. Other than that I've just got replies from bots. H

Ugh. The stories I hear about online dating are pretty much what I was afraid of.

I don't know how I fail so hard with women that I know I can actually have a conversation with, but am supposed to find success with people on these dating sites that I'll barely be able to say anything to. I just don't get it.
 
Unfortunately I'm part of this so called 'millennial' generation. Ugh, there's nothing I loathe more than hookup culture though. Sooner or later those people are going to realise it, but relationships are about a lot more than getting off. It's just feels so wrong to me. We're all people, not hookups. That's what a relationship is about after all, not sex.

Ugh, I could rant for a lot longer on this. Ultimately it's degrading the value of other people and there's something very wrong with that.
 
I've had tinder for a while. Although I manage to get matches with some reasonably attractive women (and then have an attempt of a conservation with the ones that message me), I seem to then be pretty useless at expressing feelings or anything more than that.. :/
 
Tinder/pof etc are no different than somewhere like this forum. It's a group of like mindedish people.

I enjoy both but have met some absolute nut cases because of them. In a world where everyone is glued Ho their phone, it's hardly surprising Internet dating is the way forward, have u tried talking to snyone at a bar before?
 
Brian said:
1. Statistics can be manipulated based on sample size and focus
2. Statistics can be reported in a skewed way to favor a point of view.

When it comes to a topic like this, it seems like the sample is already biased towards people who engage in the behaviour.

How many would take part in a survey on sexting and hooking up etc. if they didn't already have some experience, weren't already predisposed to talking about it?

Casual sex is an option for the attractive; there's a huge section of society who would never receive one reply on Tinder. And that's a good thing. The fewer people involved in destructive behaviour, the better.
 
ardour said:
Brian said:
1. Statistics can be manipulated based on sample size and focus
2. Statistics can be reported in a skewed way to favor a point of view.

When it comes to a topic like this, it seems like the sample is already biased towards people who engage in the behaviour.

How many would take part in a survey on sexting and hooking up etc. if they didn't already have some experience, weren't already predisposed to talking about it?

Casual sex is an option for the attractive; there's a huge section of society who would never receive one reply on Tinder. And that's a good thing. The fewer people involved in destructive behaviour, the better.

I know of people who have had success with Tumblr that I wouldn't consider particularly attractive.
 
Paraiyar said:
ardour said:
Brian said:
1. Statistics can be manipulated based on sample size and focus
2. Statistics can be reported in a skewed way to favor a point of view.

When it comes to a topic like this, it seems like the sample is already biased towards people who engage in the behaviour.

How many would take part in a survey on sexting and hooking up etc. if they didn't already have some experience, weren't already predisposed to talking about it?

Casual sex is an option for the attractive; there's a huge section of society who would never receive one reply on Tinder. And that's a good thing. The fewer people involved in destructive behaviour, the better.

I know of people who have had success with Tumblr that I wouldn't consider particularly attractive.

There's always one guy who says this...as if trying to convince himself.
 
Menorahman said:
Paraiyar said:
ardour said:
Brian said:
1. Statistics can be manipulated based on sample size and focus
2. Statistics can be reported in a skewed way to favor a point of view.

When it comes to a topic like this, it seems like the sample is already biased towards people who engage in the behaviour.

How many would take part in a survey on sexting and hooking up etc. if they didn't already have some experience, weren't already predisposed to talking about it?

Casual sex is an option for the attractive; there's a huge section of society who would never receive one reply on Tinder. And that's a good thing. The fewer people involved in destructive behaviour, the better.

I know of people who have had success with Tumblr that I wouldn't consider particularly attractive.

There's always one guy who says this...as if trying to convince himself.

I know a guy who's kind of average looking and lost his virginity on there. I've actually been talking to one or two girls on there myself recently, I'm hoping something might come of one of them as well. On another note I said "Tumblr" when I met "Tinder" LOL
 
I used to be on POF and okcupid and match. Nothing ever worked. Girls would never reply to my messages, no matter how creative I would get to grab their attention.

I guess I was always too ugly for anyone. Lol always unlucky in love
 
I'm reading some of the texts in that article, and all I can think to myself is: "No. There's no way real people interact like that.' It's like the article says" "Take the young man who keeps a ratings system on the women he beds - while still living with his mother." How is it, that he's able to do that, and yet someone such as I, who rents alone in a unit and holds a secure full time job can't even get so much as a reply.

And this isn't me crying sour grapes. If we're expected to sell our souls like this just for the chance of a meaningful relationship, then no. I'll keep my solitude, thank you very much.
 

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