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Inflated self-esteem
#1
If you think you have low self-esteem, that you're shy and you can't find friends because of this, then you may have inflated self-esteem in fact. I know that's cruel for many of you but think about it. I realized that lately and now everything is more clear. I know that I'm not the only one on this site with this problem. It's just hard to admit.

Are you interested in other people's lives as much as you think that they should be interested in yours?
Do you ask questions?
Do you think that you don't have common topics with most people?
Do you expect compliments and approval often?
Do you feel special?
Does other people's opinion bother you?
Do you think that everyone looking at you all the time? That you may be in center of attention? Do you really don't won't be?

These are helpful questions for rethink this.
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#2
Interesting, some of these questions came up in the past when I started analysing myself. Let's see...

Are you interested in other people's lives as much as you think that they should be interested in yours?
No, I am not terribly interested in other people's lives mostly...but I don't expect them to be interested in mine either. In fact, I prefer not speak about my daily life too much.

Do you ask questions?
Rarely. I'm more inclined to pick up on what other people say and reply to it. I shouldn't expect them to do the same though. I noticed many folks don't say anything unless you ask them specific questions.

Do you think that you don't have common topics with most people?
Yes...at least not many enjoyable topics. I can talk about many things, but the conversations tend to feel forced then.

Do you expect compliments and approval often?
No. I actively deflect them actually, because compliments come across as baseless brownnosing to me at times.

Do you feel special?
Nope. Maybe a bit different, but not special.

Does other people's opinion bother you?
Only if they are unreasonable and/or blatantly ignorant.

Do you think that everyone looking at you all the time? That you may be in center of attention? Do you really don't won't be?
I used to, but then I started telling myself that I'm not that fascinating since I prefer to stay under the radar...a wise decision. This can go as far as causing paranoid tendencies.

So...am I a covert egomaniac? I'm afraid wouldn't know. I suppose it's the same as with dementia - the person concerned does not notice.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I go...
[Image: d8mV4rP.gif]
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#3
Are you interested in other people's lives as much as you think that they should be interested in yours?

I don't think they should be interested in my life. Why is the question phrased like that?

Do you ask questions?

What kind of questions?

Do you think that you don't have common topics with most people?

I do, but the uncommon ones are much more.

Do you expect compliments and approval often?

No.

Do you feel special?

Not in the good way. I'll say different too.

Does other people's opinion bother you?

Ignorance bothers me as well.

Do you think that everyone looking at you all the time? That you may be in center of attention? Do you really don't won't be?

No.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#4
Rodent Wrote:Do you feel special?
Nope. Maybe a bit different, but not special.
I mean that. Different may be synonymous to special in this question.

(09-02-2015, 07:46 AM)Xpendable Wrote: Are you interested in other people's lives as much as you think that they should be interested in yours?
I don't think they should be interested in my life. Why is the question phrased like that?
I had problems with create that sentence so maybe there are some misunderstandings. I mean that you may expect from others that they'll write to you first, check if you alive, will be curious how are you and maybe you have some problems or what did you create lately etc. Well, if we like someone we want to know about him some things.

Xpendable Wrote:Do you ask questions?
What kind of questions?
Like these above for example. Any questions to other people which can mean that you care.
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#5
(09-02-2015, 08:14 AM)LiLeila Wrote: I had problems with create that sentence so maybe there are some misunderstandings. I mean that you may expect from others that they'll write to you first, check if you alive, will be curious how are you and maybe you have some problems or what did you create lately etc. Well, if we like someone we want to know about him some things.

Oh. Ok, I thought someone got this questions from somewhere else. I guess sometimes I care but only because it never happens. I actually don't remember the last time someone asked me how I was just because they care.

(09-02-2015, 08:14 AM)LiLeila Wrote: Like these above for example. Any questions to other people which can mean that you care.

Weirdly enough, I sometimes ask. But part of me feels that I just do it out of courtesy. Just to stretch the conversation.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#6
(09-02-2015, 08:26 AM)Xpendable Wrote: But part of me feels that I just do it out of courtesy. Just to stretch the conversation.
So it might be a one symptom. I do the same usually and it feels similiar. It means that we just don't care about others, so our loneliness has reasons in us. Make sense to me.
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#7
(09-02-2015, 10:16 AM)LiLeila Wrote: So it might be a one symptom. I do the same usually and it feels similiar. It means that we just don't care about others, so our loneliness has reasons in us. Make sense to me.

But isn't that a little extreme? There's a ton of people who don't care about others and they carry a fairly decent life. There's people who have literally said to me that they don't give a shit about X person (sometimes this person is a nice human being) and they have tons of friends, a wife and kids. They are mean and judgemental, but they get love anyway.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#8
(09-02-2015, 10:25 AM)Xpendable Wrote:
(09-02-2015, 10:16 AM)LiLeila Wrote: So it might be a one symptom. I do the same usually and it feels similiar. It means that we just don't care about others, so our loneliness has reasons in us. Make sense to me.

But isn't that a little extreme? There's a ton of people who don't care about others and they carry a fairly decent life. There's people who have literally said to me that they don't give a shit about X person (sometimes this person is a nice human being) and they have tons of friends, a wife and kids. They are mean and judgemental, but they get love anyway.
Maybe. But for me having friends or family not always means that someone isn't lonely. Also people like jerks sometimes so... I think caring is a huge and important thing in any relation. So how to get some if we so ignorant?
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#9
(09-02-2015, 10:48 AM)LiLeila Wrote: Maybe. But for me having friends or family not always means that someone isn't lonely.

Totally, but the point was that what repels people isn't objective.

(09-02-2015, 10:48 AM)LiLeila Wrote: Also people like jerks sometimes so... I think caring is a huge and important thing in any relation. So how to get some if we so ignorant?

I feel that's how it should be too Smile, but ignorance rarely causes someone to be lonely; it's usually the other way around.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#10
(09-02-2015, 10:53 AM)Xpendable Wrote: but ignorance rarely causes someone to be lonely; it's usually the other way around.
You think so? I have other experience, especially when it comes to close persons.
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